Talk:Sampson Mathews

Informal review
In response to a request on my talk page, I'd like to offer an informal pre-FAC review of this article. I didn't know anything about this person before reading the article, and know fairly little about the US Revolutionary War.
 * "As war came to the colonies" - wasn't there warfare against Native Americans from the start of European colonisation?
 * Good point. I think I was just trying to force a transition phrase in there. Newtack101 (talk) 13:28, 26 April 2020 (UTC)
 * "a surprise raid of Richmond " - should this be "raid on Richmond"? The grammar seems off here.
 * Yup. Newtack101 (talk) 13:28, 26 April 2020 (UTC)
 * "His parents were among the first settlers of Augusta County" - I imagine it was already settled, by Native Americans - should this be "first European colonists" or similar? (not sure what the situation in the US is, but modern works on colonisation in Australia go to considerable lengths to avoid this kind of wording given that it's now considered both inaccurate and offensive to suggest that Australia wasn't settled before Europeans invaded the place)
 * YES, thank you. Newtack101 (talk) 13:28, 26 April 2020 (UTC)
 * "worked in various crews" - not sure about "various" here - it seems needlessly vague.
 * Yeah, it's needlessly vague. Newtack101 (talk) 13:28, 26 April 2020 (UTC)
 * "In fall of 1774" - should this be "In the fall of 1774"?
 * Yup. Newtack101 (talk) 13:28, 26 April 2020 (UTC)
 * The third para of the Revolutionary activities section refers to "the ongoing war effort", but the outbreak of war hasn't previously been noted.
 * Fair enough. Changed the wording. Newtack101 (talk) 13:28, 26 April 2020 (UTC)
 * "the senate sought to promote the Continental Navy's Virginia fleet" - I'm not sure what this means: did they want to advertise it, or improve it?
 * They wanted to improve it. I think I was using "promote" in an antiquated way. Newtack101 (talk) 13:28, 26 April 2020 (UTC)
 * "a three month tour" - I don't think terms like "tour" are typically used in reference to pre-modern warfare.
 * Thanks, I wasn't aware of that. Newtack101 (talk) 13:28, 26 April 2020 (UTC)
 * "In October 1780, Mathews requested to disqualify himself form serving the rest of his term in the Virginia State Senate" - do we know why? (also, this sentence is a bit wordy)
 * The source doesn't say why. Simplified. Newtack101 (talk) 13:28, 26 April 2020 (UTC)
 * "and Arnold thereafter burned and looted the city." - surely Arnold's forces did this, not the man by himself!
 * Haha, I wouldn't put it past him!, but point taken. Newtack101 (talk) 13:28, 26 April 2020 (UTC)
 * The sources look reliable, but there's inconsistency in the footnotes: while most cites to books use the short form, the full details of some books are given.
 * I will have to read more about formatting footnotes. Definitely a weak spot for me. Newtack101 (talk) 13:28, 26 April 2020 (UTC)
 * I've made an example edit to address wordy language, and would suggest a read-through to identify other areas where the wording can be simplified
 * Thanks. I think reading through these old books effects the way I write sometimes, ha. Newtack101 (talk) 13:28, 26 April 2020 (UTC)
 * I'd suggest putting this article though a Military History Wikiproject A-class review before going to FAC: the ACR process is designed to provide preparation for FAC, and A-class articles have a much better chance of being passed at FAC. This should ensure that some reviewers more familiar with the American Revolutionary War than I am consider the article. Nick-D (talk) 23:25, 24 April 2020 (UTC)
 * Will do, thanks for your help! Newtack101 (talk) 13:28, 26 April 2020 (UTC)

Even though this is an informal review, I decided to address the comments as I would a formal review for sake of documentation. Newtack101 (talk) 13:28, 26 April 2020 (UTC)