Talk:Samuel Mulledy/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 09:46, 29 July 2019 (UTC)

Comments That's it for me, I'll put the article on hold pending the outcome of those comments. The Rambling Man (REJOICE!) 10:56, 29 July 2019 (UTC)
 * "after just several months" this reads peculiarly to me, do we know how many "several" was? "just several" is odd to my ears.
 * No specification of time in the source. I've changed it to "soon."  Ergo Sum  23:45, 31 July 2019 (UTC)
 * "Samuel A. Mulledy[2] was born on March 27, 1811 in Romney, Virginia[3] (today part of West Virginia).[a] " I don't like all the interjected refs and footnotes, could we not wait until the end of the sentence (it's a short one) for all of these? Also, comma after 1811 needed.
 * Fixed.  Ergo Sum  23:46, 31 July 2019 (UTC)
 * "His father, Thomas Mulledy,[5] was a farmer[6] and a Catholic of Irish descent.[7] " similar comment re: ref placement.
 * Fixed.  Ergo Sum  23:46, 31 July 2019 (UTC)
 * "His brother " you've lost the subject in the preceding sentences, so maybe "Samuel's brother..."
 * Clarified the subject.  Ergo Sum  23:47, 31 July 2019 (UTC)
 * "At a young age, he became" again, the last "he" was Thomas, not Samuel.
 * Fixed.  Ergo Sum  23:48, 31 July 2019 (UTC)
 * I don't think we need to link horse. I imagine linking "novitiate" would be more generally useful.
 * Unlinked horse. Novitiate is already linked.  Ergo Sum  23:49, 31 July 2019 (UTC)
 * "His brother, Thomas, was president of the college throughout Samuel's studies.[16][17] Completing his " not sure we need to reiterate that his brother was called Thomas. Also, the subsequent sentence it's unclear to whom "his" refers.
 * Resolved.  Ergo Sum  23:50, 31 July 2019 (UTC)
 * No need to link Europe.
 * Unlinked.  Ergo Sum  23:50, 31 July 2019 (UTC)
 * " November 1, 1841 rector and master of novices[19] at the St. Stanislaus Jesuit novitiate[22] in Frederick, Maryland.[23] " same comment re: ref placements, and comma after 1841.
 * Done.  Ergo Sum  23:52, 31 July 2019 (UTC)
 * "he request to be" requested.
 * Fixed.  Ergo Sum  23:53, 31 July 2019 (UTC)
 * "brother, Thomas Mulledy, on" once again, I think it's clear by now who his brother is.
 * Since this is a new section and his brother has not been mentioned in a while, I think it's appropriate to mention his name again.  Ergo Sum  23:53, 31 July 2019 (UTC)
 * It looks like "several months" was "almost nine months".
 * Addressed above.  Ergo Sum  23:53, 31 July 2019 (UTC)
 * " of Jesus[29] in 1850.[30]" ref placements.
 * Done.  Ergo Sum  23:54, 31 July 2019 (UTC)
 * "Worcester, Massachusetts during " comma before during.
 * Done.  Ergo Sum  23:54, 31 July 2019 (UTC)
 * "in Yonkers, New York i" comma after New York.
 * Done.  Ergo Sum  23:55, 31 July 2019 (UTC)
 * " on Christmas day of" it looks odd not to include "day" in the link there.
 * Done.  Ergo Sum  23:55, 31 July 2019 (UTC)
 * "was done at Mulledy's" pathological dislike for "done", perhaps "performed"?
 * I believe we had this conversation at the GAN for Manresa Island. I'm very open to changing my view of the verb "to do" if you can point me in the direction of an explanation of its grammatical deprecation. (I would genuinely be interested in that). However, I'm otherwise unconvinced that it should be stricken.  Ergo Sum  23:59, 31 July 2019 (UTC)
 * Oh, I doubt I can, just as I doubt I can point you towards why I think two spaces after a period is still good practice, nor could I point you towards why I think "takes place" is more active and positive than "occurs" which in my mind is purely passive, these are just results of who I am. It has almost absolutely nothing to do with GAN so I'll have to let it slide! The Rambling Man (REJOICE!) 07:36, 1 August 2019 (UTC)
 * Thank you for your review. I believe I've addressed all your comments.  Ergo Sum  23:59, 31 July 2019 (UTC)
 * "done" (ugh) not withstanding, happy with the article, as usual it's beyond GA quality, so I will pass it. The Rambling Man (REJOICE!) 07:36, 1 August 2019 (UTC)