Talk:Sanctuary season 2/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Glimmer721 (talk · contribs) 02:28, 18 November 2011 (UTC)

I will review shortly. I am gooing to review in sections as it is a fairly large article, so please be patient. I've never seen the show before, so I will be viewing it with a definate out-of-universe POV. Thanks, Glimmer721  talk  02:28, 18 November 2011 (UTC)
 * I expect nothing less. Please take all the time you need to review it. -- Matthew RD 16:54, 18 November 2011 (UTC)


 * Lead
 * I did a little copy editing; please watch comma usage and make sure they are only used if the subjects are restated, and especially not before every prepositional phrase.
 * "The season begins following the conclusion of the first season..." "Begins following" is kind of awkward wording. I would say it "begins idrectly after the conclusion of the first season" but I don't know if it does or not.
 * Done. -- Matthew RD 19:25, 22 November 2011 (UTC)


 * What's the Sanctuary Network? Is it the same as the Sanctuary? It's mentioned again later, so a short intro would be nice. It says it is "global" later so I have some guesses, but I do not know exactly.
 * Sanctuary and Sanctuary Network are the same organisation, Sanctuary is just a shorter version of saying it. It works world wide but the show mainly focuses on one base in particular, which seems to be the world headquarters (Magnus is the leader of it), in Old City, a fictional metropolis somewhere in the Pacific Northwest. -- Matthew RD 16:54, 18 November 2011 (UTC)


 * The list of those in the opening credits seems out of place at the end of a paragraph about the plot. I would either suggest placing that list at the end of the first paragraph or the beginning of the second, maybe describing what character they play.
 * Done. -- Matthew RD 19:25, 22 November 2011 (UTC)


 * "Writer and executive producer Sam Egan left the show after the first season, while a writing team was included to co-write with series creator Damian Kindler." He left while a writing team was included? "So" seems a better word to use instead of "while", if that is why and what happenened.
 * Done. -- Matthew RD 19:25, 22 November 2011 (UTC)


 * "...with some episode including as many as 500 visual effects shots per episode." I changed "episode" to "episodes" as that seemed like a typo, but "per episode" would not be necessary.
 * Done. -- Matthew RD 19:25, 22 November 2011 (UTC)


 * "The introduction to Kate Freelander was also met with mixed reactions..." Who's Kate Freelander? You could simply say "new character" if that is the case.
 * Done. -- Matthew RD 19:25, 22 November 2011 (UTC)


 * Episodes
 * Why is there no rating for "Haunted"?
 * Because TV by the Numbers and Broadcast Now doesn't have them, I'm pretty certain this is unreliable. I used another source once, but removed it when I realised it was definitely a forum. Long story short; can't find it. -- Matthew RD 19:25, 22 November 2011 (UTC)


 * Wikilinking Amanda Tapping again, even as director, is still overlinking I believe.
 * Done. -- Matthew RD 19:25, 22 November 2011 (UTC)


 * Isn't this a Canadian show? Even if it airs the same time in the US, the Canadian ratings should probably be included. I think you can find them here.
 * The source you pointed out only includes main broadcast networks; Sanctuary's a cable show. There's this again, but I doubt its reliability. To top it off, the website informs the readers that they took the numbers from a... blog. In addition, it is a Canadian-produced show, but at the same time, Syfy seems to be the one running it. -- Matthew RD 19:25, 22 November 2011 (UTC)


 * "Six weeks after Ashley Magnus (Emilie Ullerup) was turned by the Cabal..." What does "turned by the Cabal" mean? Turned into a Cabal? Even though it is already mentioned in the lead, the Cabel should be briefly explained. Maybe in the lead you could also expand on it; maybe that it is an organization, as that's the impression I'm getting. (I originally assumed from the lead it was just one big bad abnormal).
 * Done. -- Matthew RD 19:25, 22 November 2011 (UTC)


 * Who is "Bigfoot"? Is it some version of Druitt as it is played by the same actor? (I now see he is described in the "Cast" section, but this is first in the article so he needs a short decription).
 * Done. They are completely different characters. -- Matthew RD 19:25, 22 November 2011 (UTC)


 * "...the Cabal order a hit on her." A hit on her? What does that mean?
 * Anybody who's seen a TV show or movie where they hear the line "[bad guys] ordered a hit out on him/her/them," implies that the bad guys sent assassins to kill him/her/them. However, I ammended this. -- Matthew RD 19:25, 22 November 2011 (UTC)


 * Who or what is Bhalasaam? Vampires? And is "they escape before she can kill them" referring to the Bhalassam, then?
 * Done. Actually its an ancient lost city. -- Matthew RD 19:25, 22 November 2011 (UTC)


 * What's Lazarus? A disease?
 * Done. Spot on ;) -- Matthew RD 19:25, 22 November 2011 (UTC)


 * Where's Old City? If it's not based in a real city, then perhaps that is best omitted and you could just say they destroyed the primary Sanctuary base.
 * Omitted. It's a fictional city in I-don't-know-where, North America. -- Matthew RD 19:25, 22 November 2011 (UTC)


 * Does Canadian English use "center" or "centre"? I'm referring to "epicentre" in the episode 12 summary.
 * Done. -- Matthew RD 19:25, 22 November 2011 (UTC)


 * "Magnus attempts to knock her out, but it fails. However, it does make Forsythe lose his concentration..." What fails? What makes Forsythe lose his concentration? Did she use a drug, then?
 * Done. -- Matthew RD 19:25, 22 November 2011 (UTC)


 * Cast
 * "The producers made Magnus more angry and vulnerable following Ashley's death in the first three episodes." Maybe "after" the first three episodes, as it didn't take her a whole three episodes to die. Also, instead of "the producers made", I would say "the producers intended for Magnust to be..."
 * Done. -- Matthew RD 01:06, 23 November 2011 (UTC)


 * "...a former forensic psychiatrist and then Magnus' protégé since the pilot." The wording here is a bit strange. I would say "who has been Magnus' protégé since the pilot". You could also wikilink "pilot" to Sanctuary for All.
 * Done. -- Matthew RD 01:06, 23 November 2011 (UTC)


 * "Tapping viewed the death as an "important casualties" that has resonance to the main characters." Either this is a typo or the quote actually says "casualities" with different wording before it. In the latter case I would replace it with "[casualty]".
 * Done. -- Matthew RD 01:06, 23 November 2011 (UTC)


 * "Lawrenson was cast for the role afer moving..."
 * Done. -- Matthew RD 01:06, 23 November 2011 (UTC)


 * "Shanks was somewhat behind the casting of Aleks Paunovic, actor and part-time boxer, as Duke; being a boxer fit into the role." This sentence probably needs to be split into two and needs furthur clarification. Somewhat behind the casting? How was he just somewhat? Did he just merely suggest Paunovicc? Who is Duke? Is he a boxer, then, as Panuvic's profession as a boxer apparently fit into the role?
 * Done. -- Matthew RD 01:06, 23 November 2011 (UTC)


 * "Also in "Kali", Sahar Biniaz was cast as Kali..." Maybe reword so Kali is not said twice?
 * Done. -- Matthew RD 01:06, 23 November 2011 (UTC)


 * Writing
 * ""Fragments" was written to be in somewhat of a real time format." Wouldn't it be in real time format? And why just "somewhat"? Is it or isn't it? (If this is a direct quote then just leave it and put quotes around it).
 * Done. -- Matthew RD 19:29, 23 November 2011 (UTC)


 * "..that follows the same style as episodes of the medical drama ER, where "stuff goes down and you have to kind of follow the team in different aspects and see how their handling the situation."
 * Done. -- Matthew RD 19:29, 23 November 2011 (UTC)


 * Filming
 * "The episode ended up being 17 minutes longer than usual, so much of it had to be cut." Which episode? The subject of the past sentence is not "Euology", so it is not clear.
 * Actually it is; "Eulogy" is the subject of the past sentence. In fact the title was the last word. -- Matthew RD 19:29, 23 November 2011 (UTC)


 * "To direct the scenes featuring Magnus, Tapping rehearsed them to decide how it would be shot, then appoint somebody else to handle the cameras." Appointed.
 * Done. -- Matthew RD 19:29, 23 November 2011 (UTC)


 * "Like the first season, much of the second was filmed on green screen sets in a studio in Burnaby, British Columbia,[11] though there are more instances it was shot on practical sets and on location, most of which taking place just outside the studio." More instances than what? The previous season? It is already stated that most of this season was filmed on greenscreen sets.
 * Done. -- Matthew RD 19:29, 23 November 2011 (UTC)


 * "To prevent any damage made to the car..." How about just "damage to the car"?
 * Done. -- Matthew RD 19:29, 23 November 2011 (UTC)


 * "To be reused, the extras were mixed around with different costumes." They were "reused"? Mixed around with different costumes? To make this clearer (because it kind of sounds more like dolls than people), I would say something along the lines of "For the extras to be used in more than one scene, they wore many different costumes."
 * Done. -- Matthew RD 19:29, 23 November 2011 (UTC)


 * "The streeting area is also limited in size, so the streets were recycled frequently with every scene." Switch back to past tense here.
 * Done. -- Matthew RD 19:29, 23 November 2011 (UTC)


 * Music
 * "He would also capture the emotional temper when it comes to scoring for the emotional scenes." Who thought this? (Kindler, Tapping, and Wood are listed in the source, but I would add it in the sentence to so it does not sound like OR.
 * Done. -- Matthew RD 19:29, 23 November 2011 (UTC)


 * Effects
 * "In creating the steno in "Eulogy", Wilson wanted it to look adorable, harmless and bunny-like in its infancy, and then make it look more menacing and threatening when it grows up, but still make it look harmless as it is not a violent creature." This is sort of a run-on sentence and it's quite confusing. I would recommend splitting it into two sentences.
 * Done. -- Matthew RD 01:59, 24 November 2011 (UTC)


 * "The second season introduces "moving zorts," am upgraded technique the film crew used to complete the sequences where the cast around Heyerdahl freeze until he leaves the screen to complete the effect where Druitt teleports from the first season." Huh? I fixed the "am" typo, but I don't understand what this is trying to say. Complete what sequences? I understand that all the cast freezes around Heyerdahl and so I would assume this would be when Druitt teleports...but he's teleporting from the first season? Or this is completing the effect used in the first season? Why did it need completing, anyway? Or is this just changing the efffect when Druitt teleports? Well, I suppose you get the idea. I'm very lost.
 * Done. I think, feel free to read it again. If you're still lost, I'll try and make it more understandable again. -- Matthew RD 01:59, 24 November 2011 (UTC)
 * I've split it up into two sentences to make it clearer. One thing: are the zorts mentioned in the next sentence supposed to be "tripple zorts" as it says or "triple zorts"? Glimmer721  talk  16:31, 24 November 2011 (UTC)
 * It's triple (as in three right?) -- Matthew RD 04:39, 26 November 2011 (UTC)


 * "For the shots where the squid swims on the water surface, the production crew used a radio-controlled boat to mimic the wake." Is that supposed to be "wave"?
 * Nope, it is wake, as in the bubbly-ripply stuff you see behind a boat as it moves. I added a link so the reader could understand. -- Matthew RD 01:59, 24 November 2011 (UTC)


 * "In one instance Young hit Chad Rook in the face, which caused a fang to puncture his lip." I would describe "fang" a little--for example, "prosthetic fangs" or "fang inserts" or whatever they used.
 * Done. -- Matthew RD 01:59, 24 November 2011 (UTC)


 * Broadcast and reception
 * Any Canadian ratings? Check out the link I had above.
 * Do you think this is reliable? -- Matthew RD 01:30, 24 November 2011 (UTC)


 * Critical reception.
 * "Mark Wilson of About.com believed that after the series was "finding its feet," felt that it "looks like a harbinger of the new, more confident Sanctuary," but added "there's still work to be done." Remove "felt that". Also, in the next sentence, how can he "later state" soemthing if it's in the same review, published on the same date? I would say "also stated".
 * Done. -- Matthew RD 02:04, 24 November 2011 (UTC)


 * References
 * Ref #45 needs an accessdate.
 * Done. -- Matthew RD 19:20, 25 November 2011 (UTC)


 * For all the DVD sources (audio commentary, etc), add |medium=DVD| to the cite video template and change "Sanctuary: The Complete Second Season (DVD) Disc X" to |location=Sanctuary: The Complete Second Season Disc X|
 * Are you sure this is nessecary. I only say this because the user who reviewed the first season didn't bring it up. -- Matthew RD 19:20, 25 November 2011 (UTC)


 * Reliablity of this? It appears to be a blog.
 * Crap, your right. I have removed the source and replaced what I could from commentaries. -- Matthew RD 04:32, 26 November 2011 (UTC)


 * Make sure the dates are formatted consistantly; most follow M DD, YYYY but not all.
 * Done. -- Matthew RD 19:20, 25 November 2011 (UTC)


 * That's it to this review. Great article, just a few issues. I will place this on hold for 7 days while the issues are addressed. Glimmer721  talk  00:07, 20 November 2011 (UTC)
 * Thanks for the review. I believe I have amended the issues. If something else comes up feel free to let me know. -- Matthew RD 04:39, 26 November 2011 (UTC)
 * I'm happy to pass this now. Great article! Glimmer721  talk  17:55, 26 November 2011 (UTC)