Talk:Sarah Jim Mayo

Non-copyedit feedback
Hi and thanks for your work on this article. I've completed the copyedit you requested at WP:WikiProject Guild of Copy Editors/Requests. Outside of the copy, here are some items for you to consider:
 * Degikup is repeated enough that an explanation in the body, not just a footnote, is probably warranted.
 * WP:INTEXT recommends in-text attribution for directly copied quotes. For example, the quote "honey in color with dark brown and black symbols" would benefit from a mention of who is describing the basket using that language. Much of the quoted material contains plain facts, which would probably best be summarized in wikivoice.
 * In §Wilson basket, is "alliance" correct in "political gesture to remind the United States government of the historical alliance with the Washoe"? What's described elsewhere in the text seems more like a peace treaty than an alliance. Ditto for "ally of the United States government" in §Early life.
 * The lead is declarative about a basket being delivered to Wilson, but the body lays out multiple possibilities. Probably the lead should be adjusted.

Hope this helps. Firefangledfeathers (talk / contribs) 18:03, 10 May 2023 (UTC)