Talk:Scott Bacigalupo/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer:  Aaron north  (T/C) 00:35, 25 October 2010 (UTC)

I have finished my review. This is a short article, but the subject clearly meets notability and there really isn't much to say about him. There are a couple minor issues that need to be fixed before I can pass this. I will hold this article for up to a week. Aaron north  (T/C) 00:57, 25 October 2010 (UTC)
 * ✅ Looks good now.  Aaron north  (T/C) 04:28, 25 October 2010 (UTC)


 * GA review (see here for criteria)


 * 1) It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
 * 1) It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (references): b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):
 * 1) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a (major aspects): b (focused):
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:

Issues
Within "college career", in the last 3 sentences of the first paragraph and all of the second paragraph, the prose is very choppy. I'm personally not a fan of enormous sentences with 4 or 5 commas, but these are too short, can you string some of those tiny sentences together so the prose flows a bit more? I think I did a little bit elsewhere in the article, but eventually stopped to leave the rest to you.  Aaron north  (T/C) 00:57, 25 October 2010 (UTC)
 * Since first names are against WP:MOS, I am replacing them with his last name.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 02:20, 25 October 2010 (UTC)
 * I have taken the end of the paragraph and made a new paragraph.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 02:32, 25 October 2010 (UTC)

Also, the reader might naturally wonder why one of the greatest college lacrosse goalkeepers in NCAA history didn't play a single game professionally. Is there any reason why not? If nothing is out there to answer that question, then you at least need to state that he never played professionally in the NLL.  Aaron north  (T/C) 00:57, 25 October 2010 (UTC)
 * Added.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 02:14, 25 October 2010 (UTC)
 * No reason why he went pro in something other than sports, but a lot of people go to Princeton to get a good job.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 02:17, 25 October 2010 (UTC)

Are there any free or fair use images available? If not, that is fine, images are not required in the GA standard for an article that does not obviously need or have images available.  Aaron north  (T/C) 00:59, 25 October 2010 (UTC)
 * No images.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 02:14, 25 October 2010 (UTC)