Talk:Scott Laughton/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: MWright96 (talk · contribs) 18:57, 8 October 2020 (UTC)

Reviewing this for the GAN October 2020 Backlog Drive MWright96 (talk) 18:57, 8 October 2020 (UTC)
 * 1) It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
 * 1) It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):
 * 1) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a (major aspects): b (focused):
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * Pass/Fail:

Lead

 * Wikilink junior hockey to the relevant article
 * "Following his sophomore season in the OHL," - OHL needs to be spelt out in full and the acroynms in parentheses
 * "Following his sophomore season in the OHL," - OHL needs to be spelt out in full and the acroynms in parentheses

Early life

 * "to play junior in the Ontario Hockey League (OHL)." - word-to-word of the nj.com that will need a little rewording to pass limited wording
 * Wikilink lacrosse
 * Wikilink lacrosse

Youth

 * The second wikilink for Oakville, Ontario is not needed
 * Goals and assists need to be wikilinked on the first mention for non-Ice hockey readers
 * "Laughton also skated in two games with the St. Michael's Buzzers of the CCHL." - The full name of the CCML will need to be written out
 * "As a result of his minor hockey play," - achievements
 * "His play earned him a roster spot on the CHL/NHL Top Prospects Game[12]" - a comma is missing between "Game" and the citation
 * Wikilink point to the relevant article on the first mention only
 * "As a result of his minor hockey play," - achievements
 * "His play earned him a roster spot on the CHL/NHL Top Prospects Game[12]" - a comma is missing between "Game" and the citation
 * Wikilink point to the relevant article on the first mention only
 * Wikilink point to the relevant article on the first mention only
 * Wikilink point to the relevant article on the first mention only

Professional

 * "giving the Flyers five more games to decide whether he stays in the NHL or returns to major juniors." - remained in the NHL to returned
 * "after failing to stick with the NHL club to start the season." - more formal; remain
 * "for Team Canada at the 2013 World Junior Ice Hockey Championships." - Team Canada's U20 team
 * "during the week of October 20." - phantomshockey.com source says the week ending October 19
 * "and was expected to miss 3–4 weeks" - 3 to 4 weeks
 * "the Flyers re-signed Laughton to a two-year, $1.925 million contract worth $962,500 annually." - the salary is not mentioned by the NHL source
 * Replaced ref
 * Wikilink penalty killer to the relevant article
 * Think the final paragraph can be split into two with the Laughton's activities in the Stanley Cup in its own paragraph
 * "Laughton suffered a broken finger at the start of the 2019–20 season" - perhaps mention it was a broken finger on his right hand
 * "A few games following his return," - how many games exactly?
 * ✅. Changed to December
 * "The team rewarded his efforts by gifting him the 2020 Pelle Lindbergh Memorial Trophy as the team's most improved player." - repetition of "team"
 * "When the NHL returned to play," - mention the season was delayed due to the COVID-19 pandemic as stated in The Hockey Writers
 * Wikilink Seed to Seed (sports)
 * "Laughton helped the team bounce back from a blown lead" - recover from a lost lead
 * Wikilink shorthanded to the relevant article
 * Already WL for penalty killer
 * Wikilink shutout
 * ✅. Changed to December
 * "The team rewarded his efforts by gifting him the 2020 Pelle Lindbergh Memorial Trophy as the team's most improved player." - repetition of "team"
 * "When the NHL returned to play," - mention the season was delayed due to the COVID-19 pandemic as stated in The Hockey Writers
 * Wikilink Seed to Seed (sports)
 * "Laughton helped the team bounce back from a blown lead" - recover from a lost lead
 * Wikilink shorthanded to the relevant article
 * Already WL for penalty killer
 * Wikilink shutout
 * Wikilink shorthanded to the relevant article
 * Already WL for penalty killer
 * Wikilink shutout
 * Wikilink shutout