Talk:Sejo Sexon/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: MX (talk · contribs) 17:43, 13 September 2019 (UTC)

Review
Will review, stay tuned! MX ( ✉  •  ✎  ) 17:43, 13 September 2019 (UTC)

Lead paragraph

 * I think the lead paragraph could be expanded a bit more, maybe with 2-3 more sentences. I'm worried it may get flagged as too short and that it doesn't adequately summarize the entire article (which is the purpose of the lead paragraph).

Infobox

 * There are several facts mentioned in the infobox that are not cited or mentioned anywhere else in the body sections. Nothing in the infobox should be included if it is not cited elsewhere, per WP:INFOBOXCITE. Among them are: DOB, his apparent dual nationality (not sure if that's what you mean by the Bosnian / Croatian mention), his studies at the Sarajevo Second Gymnasium, Garage Rock, and all of the instruments he uses.

Music career

 * – is → was


 * – Which source backs up this statement? Is it Source#3? I strongly suggest you add it at the end of this sentence to prevent a [Citation needed] tag.


 * – Can you add the month instead? Per MOS:SEASON, we highly discourage using seasons.


 * – get → got


 * - exceeds → exceeded


 * – I'm confused if Pušenje should be capitalized in all instances. Can you confirm?


 * – MOS:SEASON per above


 * – MOS:SEASON per above


 * – is released → was released


 * - are released → were released


 * - The first paragraph of this subsection is entirely unsourced. Please add the appropriate references where they belong.


 * – Comma after Croatia,


 * - works → worked


 * - is released → was released


 * - is released → was released


 * - record → recorded? Also, "homemade" is together.


 * – This is somewhat uneyclopedic. Can you prove that absolutely no one in all of existence didn't expect this? I would rephrase.


 * – begun → began


 * - was → were


 * – MOS:SEASON per above


 * - is → was

Radio and TV career

 * – Shown


 * – You mean "approximately"? I would rephrase to that. I think using "odd" may be an idiom, please correct me if I'm wrong.


 * – This sentence needs a source

Other projects

 * – Comma after Mexico,

Humanitarian work

 * – Two things here: please add a source for this sentence. Also, please consider redlinking the embassies of Norway and the U.S. If one exists for Canada, it is reasonable to think one could be created for the other two.

Personal life

 * – It is entirely unsourced. Please add the sources where appropriate.

Discography

 * Section is entirely unsourced

Filmography

 * Section is entirely unsourced

Decision: failed

 * No response in over 7 days. Article has failed the nomination. MX ( ✉  •  ✎  ) 17:38, 30 September 2019 (UTC)