Talk:Sex-ratio imbalance in China

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This article is or was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): Smajlovic1237.

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Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment
This article is or was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): Nataliep3. Peer reviewers: Yvettetiff, Laurenfeiman, Samyang0820.

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Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment
This article was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment, between 21 January 2020 and 10 May 2020. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): Vli66. Peer reviewers: Becca lee127.

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Untitled
You have improved your article from the draft version I previously reviewed. Now that I can see your references, your article holds more merit. Take a moment to review the hard copy I gave you, I have made suggestions for grammar and phrasing improvements.

In the background section, under compulsory measures – what are the exceptions to the one child policy? Household responsibility-lose quotes, paraphrase (see also the propensity to violence section). What are the consequences of not registering baby girls; are they able to go to school, are they able to work, can they obtain visas, is it possible to have them registered after a certain age? I might regroup prevalence of sex work, and potential risk of HIV above abandonment of baby girls, as they seem to all flow together, under the consequences section. From your reaction section, you point to the fact that laws protecting female fetuses have increased, but how are these laws enforced (outside of the experimental zone of Chaohu)? Are they laws in name only? Miss Smithington (talk) 00:28, 22 April 2014 (UTC)

Feedback
I think you did a great job on the opening paragraph – it is very strong and encyclopedia-like. You did an excellent job of adding internal links throughout your text. One thing you could change is the long dashes under the “Compulsory measures” subsection under “Background” into one or two dashes instead of 3 or 4. Your article is very readable, well divided and well referenced throughout. One suggestion would be to change “literally” to “translate as” under “Consequences of the phenomenon, Wifeless Men”. Also in that same section I recommend mentioning your references in the last two paragraphs. For example, you have “Some commentators worry…” and “An alternative viewpoint…” which is a great setup for what follows, but I would stick in their names to make it: ”Some commentators like ____ and _____ worry…” and/or “An alternative viewpoint from _____ suggests…”. Also in the paragraph that begins with “Some commentators”, the second sentence needs to have a possessive apostrophe with “mens lives”. Overall a terrific job on making this article from scratch! Nathan.cheever12 (talk) 00:35, 22 April 2014 (UTC)

Respond to suggestions and feedbacks
Thanks for all the helpful advices. Based on the suggestions above, I've made some changes on the article: add consequence in non-registration section as Randi suggested; add quotes on "household responsibility system"; introduce what are the exception in terms of one-child policy in the background part; correct the grammar errors and expressions as Nathan said. For other unrevised part based on Randi's suggestions, it's difficult to find English reference on this part, such as how the laws enforced. In terms of the "some commentators" suggestion from Nathan, I think I have link on behind that sentence. If readers are interested in who said about that, I think they can easily find that in the reference list. Again, thank you all for reviewing and these helpful suggestions! Thanks! Yangtana Li (talk) 06:34, 28 April 2014 (UTC)

Edits needed
This article is very comprehensive and very well referenced with scholarly sources. There is, however, a basic confusion on the causes vs the sources of missing women: The cause is son preference in interaction with one-child policy (Causes section). The sources (*how* females go missing) are a) sex-selective abortion, b) inadequate care of/discrimination in care for females, c) nonregistration of girls at birth. These would be under the Sources section. The outline has to reflect this logic.BerikG (talk) 04:02, 12 May 2014 (UTC) And a fourth source is d) female infanticide. BerikG (talk) 04:08, 12 May 2014 (UTC)

Thanks for the comment!! I added a Sources section as you suggested. But I still keep subsections of ″Female infanticide at birth″ and ″Poor health care and malnutrition″ as two separated sections, because I think some infanticide are intentional. That's why I didn't combined these two section together as subsection ″b)″ as you mentioned.^o^ Yangtana Li (talk) 05:55, 13 May 2014 (UTC)

Comment
The article is great, I however hope to add some more research behind the sex ratios, especially relating back to cultural, religious, personal beliefs or even in this case, political laws. Smajlovic1237 (talk) 23:17, 8 February 2018 (UTC)

I have contributed all of my additions, as well as reviewed all of my revisions. Smajlovic1237 (talk) 01:49, 1 May 2018 (UTC)

Summary of comments
Overall, the article was very well written and organized. I was thoroughly impressed by how much useful information I got reading the article without having to be an expert on the topic. It is very clean, neat, and simple for anyone to understand the main ideas/concepts. I’d suggest adding a little bit more information for the “Missing Women of China” and “Background” section. Also, it is vital to double check and see if there are enough citations throughout the article for reliable/accurate references and sources especially following every number or a series of data. I think you are doing an excellent job improving the article. Continue to keep it short, simple, and clean. It’s always better to over cite something than to under cite. When in doubt, provide citations so that you can always be on the safe side of things and no one can accuse you of plagiarism. Huynhjenny (talk) 23:43, 22 April 2018 (UTC)huynhjenny

copy/paste of propaganda/bias in the policy response section?
This line seems a bit suspect without further context/better framing: "performing illegal acts such as abortion is one step closer to ensuring a healthy, family oriented society". Doesn't sound very NPOV as currently written.--47.14.67.190 (talk) 22:50, 4 July 2021 (UTC)

Policy responses
The policy responses section is very weird. The comment above just touches on the problem. The whole section is written as policy prescriptions, with modal verbs. It is instructions to the Chinese government. I think we can just delete the whole section, but I don't want to do that if there is something worth saving or the section could be rewritten to better describe actual policy responses. -- M.boli (talk) 02:24, 5 July 2021 (UTC)

Editing Collaboration
Hello! I am a student editor at Rice University. I find this topic really interesting and plan to edit this article for neutrality, structure, grammar, and content. I plan to add information specifically surrounding sex trafficking and forced sterilization. For more information, as well as a sense of the reference sources I plan to use, you can visit my user page. IJXB27 (talk) 20:36, 22 February 2022 (UTC) IJXB27

Ratios should be quoted earlier on the article
as of now the ratios arent quoted until the the third section. this being an article about these very ratios, one shouldn't have to dig around to find them. Ratios should be included in the short description, preferably first paragraph. 2803:9800:9504:7B33:4B6C:CC1A:D8EF:BD67 (talk) 00:43, 24 February 2023 (UTC)

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