Talk:Shelby Miller/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Famous Hobo (talk · contribs) 18:28, 13 August 2016 (UTC)

I may be a die-hard Dodger fan, but having lived in Arizona for almost 15 years, I have a soft spot for the Diamondbacks. I'll review this article. Expect comments hopefully by tonight.Famous Hobo (talk) 18:28, 13 August 2016 (UTC)
 * Just wanted to give you an update. I haven't forgotten about this review, I'm just a bit preoccupied for the time being. Don't worry though, I'll be able to finish the review. Famous Hobo (talk) 20:06, 15 August 2016 (UTC)

Alright, finally got some free time, so let's finish this review

Lead Amateur career Professional career
 * Not much to say, but I'm not sure if it's a good idea to mention the game score in the lead. Even as a diehard baseball fan, I wasn't even aware of the gamescore. I would personally remove it from the lead, but since gamescore is linked, and you did mention that it was a team record, which usually means it's really good, you can leave it.
 * Yeah, fair point. Game score is fine for the body but not the lead. – Muboshgu (talk) 20:59, 14 September 2016 (UTC)
 * You need to mention when and where he was born, since that information is readily available at MLB.com and Baseball Reference. It also makes a good transition into the next sentence.
 * Added. – Muboshgu (talk) 20:31, 14 September 2016 (UTC)
 * On March 24, 2006, he was named Gosanangelo.com's pitcher of the week. What makes Gosanangelo.com so important to mention? Personally, I'd like to just see this removed, as simply saying March 24, 2006 does not give the reader an understanding of the timeframe. The next sentence talks about his sophmore year, so was the pitcher of the week award in freshmen year?
 * Removed. – Muboshgu (talk) 20:31, 14 September 2016 (UTC)
 * Miller committed to attend Texas A&M University on a scholarship to play college baseball for the Texas A&M Aggies baseball team.[6] The St. Louis Cardinals selected Miller in the first round of the 2009 Major League Baseball draft. At first, I thought there was no relation to these sentences, and assumed nothing happened in college and that he then got drafted. The two sentences should be linked, something along the lines of "Miller committed to attend Texas A&M University on a scholarship to play college baseball for the Texas A&M Aggies baseball team.[6] However, the St. Louis Cardinals selected Miller in the first round of the 2009 Major League Baseball draft that same year."
 * I moved that first sentence to his amateur career section, as it is pertinent to his amateur career. The next sentence after that, "Rather than attend Texas A&M, Miller signed with the Cardinals, receiving a $2.875 million signing bonus on the August 17 deadline.", makes clear that he chose to sign with STL instead of go to TA&M. – Muboshgu (talk) 20:31, 14 September 2016 (UTC)
 * He then made his professional debut with the Quad Cities River Bandits of the Class A Midwest League, making two appearances. I'm pretty sure this is grammatically incorrect. You can't make two appearances in a singular debut
 * Right. He made two appearances with QCRB that year, not that day. I reworded. – Muboshgu (talk) 20:31, 14 September 2016 (UTC)
 * During the season, he was named to appear in the All-Star Futures Game. Did he not participate in the Futures Game? You say he was named as if he was selected but either declined or didn't play
 * He did play. I added that source and reworded. – Muboshgu (talk) 20:31, 14 September 2016 (UTC)
 * In August, the Cardinals suspended Miller for missing a team bus. While a neat little tidbit, this seems a bit of a random sentence when squeezed in between other sentences talking about how big of a prospect he was in the Minors
 * Seems like a minor detail in hindsight. Wasn't associated with any greater character issues. I removed it per WP:UNDUE. – Muboshgu (talk) 20:42, 14 September 2016 (UTC)
 * Miller made his MLB debut on September 5, 2012, against the New York Mets, throwing two shutout innings, giving up one hit, walking none, and striking out four in relief. You should link relief, as most casual readers won't know what relief is
 * Done. – Muboshgu (talk) 20:42, 14 September 2016 (UTC)
 * He was 2–1, walking only six and striking out 32 for the month, while leading the NL with a 1.82 ERA. Mention that he had a 2-1 record, as you previously mentioned a 3-0 win, which might confuse some readers
 * Done – Muboshgu (talk) 20:42, 14 September 2016 (UTC)
 * Against the Brewers, he improved to 3–0 with a 1.08 ERA while picking up his 13th win of the season. Same as above
 * So it wasn't a 3-0 record, since it was his 13th win. It was 3-0 and 1.08 ERA against one team, the Brewers, which is not clear enough and not significant enough a detail to include. – Muboshgu (talk) 20:42, 14 September 2016 (UTC)
 * Having struggled with walks, command, and mechanical inconsistencies the first two months of the 2014 season, Miller added a sinker to his repertoire with the help of Justin Masterson and defeated the Toronto Blue Jays 5–0 in a complete-game shutout, his first of the season and second of his career Link sinker
 * Done. – Muboshgu (talk) 20:42, 14 September 2016 (UTC)
 * It seems like the 2014 section is rather short. Did anything else of note happen that year? If not, you should mention his end of the year stats.
 * I added his end of season stats, and mentions of his two postseason starts. – Muboshgu (talk) 20:58, 14 September 2016 (UTC)
 * Not much else to say, even though I'm shaking my head reading the Diamondbacks section. 2-9 ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!
 * Yeah, go figure. 2016 has not been kind to him. – Muboshgu (talk) 20:42, 14 September 2016 (UTC)

Pitching style Awards
 * Whereas most starting pitchers utilize a fastball, breaking ball, such as a slider or a curveball, and a changeup, Miller throws a fastball and curveball over 98% of the time. Something seems wrong here. Why "such as". It seems like your trying to say "utilize a fastball or a breaking ball, such as a slider..."
 * Sliders and curveballs are types of breaking balls. I reordered it which I hope makes it more clear. – Muboshgu (talk) 20:58, 14 September 2016 (UTC)
 * Nothing to say here

Personal life
 * Nothing to say here

External links Alright, this review is done. Well written article, not much else to say. Mind you, this is my first review on a biography article, so I may have missed an important step. Anyway, once the issues have been addressed, I'll promote the article. Famous Hobo (talk) 05:17, 18 August 2016 (UTC)
 * Is his Twitter and Instagram really necessary?
 * Are they unnecessary? Or inappropriate? Why else do we have these templates? I can remove one or both if you feel strongly about it.– Muboshgu (talk) 20:58, 14 September 2016 (UTC)
 * Hi. I didn't see this until just now. I'll take a look in the next day or so. – Muboshgu (talk) 16:45, 31 August 2016 (UTC)
 * Famous Hobo, Muboshgu, where does this stand now? I don't see any edits made to address the issues raised in the review, and they really should have at least been started by now. Perhaps a deadline could be set for work to begin? BlueMoonset (talk) 07:13, 13 September 2016 (UTC)
 * Hi, BlueMoonset. I wasn't aware the review had been completed for about two weeks, as you can see by the timestamps. I meant to start working on this then, but I had a major work deadline of September 5 and a vacation for the week after. I'm back now, and I promise I will work on these comments this week, or let it be failed. – Muboshgu (talk) 21:00, 13 September 2016 (UTC)
 * This is also my fault. I kind of just let the review sit for waaaaaay too long without contacting Muboshgu. Since Muboshgu is addressing the comments, I'll let this review continue. Famous Hobo (talk) 20:53, 14 September 2016 (UTC)
 * It's on both of us for letting this sit. I've responded to everything now. Let me know if there's anything else. – Muboshgu (talk) 20:58, 14 September 2016 (UTC)

Alright, I just read through the article again, and it looks great, definitely deserving of the GA status. In regards to the external link templates, honestly, I can go either way with them. While I would personally remove them, it's not worth fretting over. Besides, they aren't hurting anybody so I guess they can stay. Anyway, now that all of the issues have been addressed, let's promote this article. Famous Hobo (talk) 21:37, 14 September 2016 (UTC)
 * Thank you! – Muboshgu (talk) 22:11, 14 September 2016 (UTC)