Talk:Sheng Shiqi/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Llywrch (talk · contribs) 15:13, 5 September 2019 (UTC)

First, I want to say that I prefer not to review articles that don't have a chance to pass GA. However, in its present state this article is, at best, a C class for reasons I will explain below.

It's clear even at a quick initial reading that English is not your native language. There are a number of phrases that just don't sound right. A more thorough proof-reading would help you, but these are the most obvious phrases that need help:
 * Style
 * "The fourth younger brother of Sheng Shicai" -- confusing. Maybe if you listed how many brothers Shicai had, then gave Shiqi's place in this list, this would be clear.
 * "On the perspective of Sheng Shicai, his brother Sheng Shiqi was killed by his wife Chen Xiuying" -- That is not fluent English. I'm guessing you meant to begin that sentence with "In the view of Sheng Shicai", or "In Sheng Shicai's opinion".
 * "Due to the jealousy, she started seeing Ratov." -- A more fluent way of expressing this would be "Out of jealousy, she started seeing Ratov."
 * Lastly, is "Sheng Shiqi" the Wade-Giles or the pinyin transliteration of his name? It's not immediately clear, & having both labeled at the beginning -- as well as his name in Chinese -- would greatly help.

Here is where this article struggles. My first impression reading it, I felt it was too short to be considered for GA; more information was needed. After reading it, I found numerous places where I needed more information to understand the point of all of this.
 * Content
 * To begin with, context is badly lacking in this article; this is expected for a GA class article. The fact that Sheng Shicai was the local warlord who ruled Xinjiang is barely mentioned, & I missed this important point on my first read. (It was only made clear when I read the article on Shiqi's brother.) The fact he was effectively independent of the central Chinese government is important. Further, the fact he was conducting a purge of the Communists in Xinjiang is also important, providing a reason to suspect the Soviet Union would intrigue in his Xinjiang.
 * We lack a lot of information about Sheng Shiqi. Where & when was he born? (We know this for his brother Shicai.) What did he do before he went to Russia for his education? How did he come to be with his brother? Was he the only sibling to be in Xinjiang with Shicai? (Even the statement that information about these things is lacking would be useful. But only after a due diligence effort was performed to see if they were known.)
 * Shicai's letter to Stalin & Molotov (available in the link) mentions that Shiqi had two children: a boy aged 4, & a girl aged 6. What are their names? Did he have them with Chen Xiuying? (Their ages suggest they may have been the product of an earlier marriage; if so, what was his first wife's name?) What happened to them afterwards? I'm not expecting a full biography, but knowing whether Sheng Shicai took care of them, or they vanished into an orphanage helps define the relationship the two brothers had.
 * It seems odd that a recent graduate of military school would be made commander of a "motorized brigade"; usually these graduates start out as lieutenants, gain experience under a more senior officer, before they are commissioned to command a unit on their own. I assume Shicai had his reasons -- & I would expect these reasons to be stated in a GA article.
 * What happened to his wife after she was arrested & interrogated? Was she tried & punished? Or simply executed? Or maybe sent with the 2 children to an isolated village in Xinjiang?
 * Without context, the sentence "After Shiqi's death, Sheng Shicai continued to crack down on Chinese communists" is a puzzling non sequitor. This is the first we read that Shicai was doing anything with or to local communists; as I noted above, context would help immensely.
 * Most importantly, as this article currently stands, the notability of Sheng Shiqi is unproven. There are many murders in history; not all -- even those that involve military officers or brothers of warlords -- are notable. And the assertion that this was a coup is another non sequitor: how would Shiqi's death have brought down Sheng Shecai? (Explaining the importance of the motorized brigade would help.) Reading Shicai's letter to Stalin & Molotov explains how it was thought to be part of such a plot. However, the Soviet authorities officially denied being involved, which turns this into a set of conflicting claims. Providing the arguments of the experts on this period of Chinese history would help the reader decide whom to believe. All of this would also help establish notability.

I haven't done this because of the other, more significant problems with this article.
 * Source checking

My first thought is to decline this nomination because so much work is needed to bring this worthwhile subject to qualify as a GA. However, I don't know you. You may be willing to commit to the effort to do the work & make this a GA class article. So I'll put this nomination on hold for the time being until I hear what you want to do. -- llywrch (talk) 16:20, 5 September 2019 (UTC)


 * First of all, thank you for your very useful and detailed review. In few days I'll do my best, and we'll see what comes out of it. P. S. Sorry for the late reply. --Governor Sheng (talk) 18:53, 9 September 2019 (UTC)
 * Don't worry about taking 4 days to respond. You've waited almost 2 months for a review. -- llywrch (talk) 05:17, 10 September 2019 (UTC)

Closing review as a fail. The nominator hasn't been active for over a month; although they did make significant improvements to this article, they were not sufficient to bring this article to GA status. This is simply a procedural action, & either the nominator or anyone else is welcome to resubmit this article for GA Review in the future after further improvements are made. -- llywrch (talk) 17:51, 6 November 2019 (UTC)