Talk:Shenzhen/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: CycloneIsaac (talk · contribs) 00:30, 10 May 2016 (UTC)

I'll get on it soon.&mdash; CycloneIsaac ( Talk ) 00:30, 10 May 2016 (UTC)

Comments

Referencing:
 * There are many sections are are uncited (1980 onwards as an SEZ, Geography, Administrative divisions, Demographics, Environment, Economy, Integration with Hong Kong, Road, Port, Air, Railway, etc).
 * The formatting of the references is inconsistent.
 * Reference 27 would fit better as a quote inside a citation template.
 * Reference 28 needs a date
 * Reference 32 is suppose to be part of a url, I assume.
 * Reference 34 needs a citation template so an archive date could be added.
 * Reference 52 is dead.
 * Reference 54 is dead.
 * References 68-72 are not in any citation format.
 * Reference 87 is dead.
 * I could go on...

Original research:
 * "Generally speaking, in most circumstances, people who are monolingual in Cantonese, Hakka, or Teochew are senior citizens of local ancestry; people who are bilingual in both Cantonese and Mandarin are the middle-aged and youth of Cantonese ancestry; people who are trilingual in Cantonese, Mandarin, and either Hakka or Teochew are of either Hakka ancestry or Teochew ancestry; and people who are monolingual only in Mandarin are those of out-of-province ancestry."
 * "Although the Shenzhen Special Economic Zone have been extended to cover the whole of Shenzhen, colloquially Shenzhen is still said to be separated into two areas, with the original four districts comprising the SEZ before 2010 as 关内 (pinyin: guān nèi; literally: "within the border") and the rest known as 关外 (pinyin: guān wài; literally: "outside of the border")."
 * "Dameisha and Xiaomeisha, two of the city's largest beaches, both located in Yantian District, are often crowded."
 * "located in the popular electronics district of Huaqiangbei."
 * "Connection to West Kowloon Railway Station in Hong Kong is scheduled to be completed in late 2018, allowing for 15 minute cross-border train journeys."
 * "Conversely, the less-common yellow taxis charging the same as red ones, runs only within the original Shenzhen SEZ."

Prose:
 * What happened between 1521 and 1979?
 * "It was promoted to a Sub-provincial City in March 1983 was given the right of provincial-level economic administration in November 1988." Run-on sentence.
 * "It makes part of Pearl Delta River Mega City built-up area with 44,738,513 inhabitants spread on 9 municipalities (including Macao) and 17,573 km2." A comma would be nice.
 * Any information for ethnicity?
 * Expansion on the religion section is needed. It could still use some information on notable religious monuments in the city, etc.
 * "Its import and export volumes have been first for the last nine consecutive years. It is the second in terms of industrial output. For five consecutive years, its internal revenue within local budget ranks third. It also ranks third in the use of foreign capital." Combine these to two sentences or so.
 * "Hong Kong and Shenzhen have very close business, trade and social links as demonstrated by the statistics presented below. Except where noted the statistics are taken from sections of the Hong Kong Government (HKG) website." Probably best not to mention this.
 * "Hong Kong conducts regular surveys of cross-boundary passenger movements, with the most recent being in 2003, although the 2007 survey will be reported on soon." How long is "soon"?
 * "A prominent Chinese and English language newspaper is the Shenzhen Daily." Are you sure that is the only one?
 * I do not think a whole section of integration with Hong Kong is necessary.

There are so many areas to fix, I don't think it could be fixed within a week. Wishva, I'm sure you can add much more to this, considering you live inside the city. I will fail the article for now, and I hope you can renominate it in a much better status than this.&mdash; CycloneIsaac ( Talk ) 01:35, 10 May 2016 (UTC)