Talk:Sheshi/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Tim riley (talk · contribs) 21:46, 11 November 2015 (UTC)

Starting first read-through. More to follow a.s.a.p.  Tim riley  talk    21:46, 11 November 2015 (UTC)
 * Great thank you, I am looking forward to your review.&#32;Iry-Hor (talk) 09:11, 12 November 2015 (UTC)

First lot; more to come:
 * Comments and suggestions:
 * WP:EDITORIAL
 * Nothing serious, but there are five "indeeds" in the text, and it wouldn't hurt to lose a couple.
 * Done I have kept only one! The others were clearly superfluous.&#32;Iry-Hor (talk) 08:27, 14 November 2015 (UTC)


 * Nomen and prenomen on seals
 * "Egyptologists universally believe that Maaibre was the prenomen of Sheshi" – that's a very strong claim. Can you prove that absolutely every Egyptologist thinks so? Otherwise I think you should modify this to something like "The consensus among Egyptologists is that Maaibre was the prenomen of Sheshi."
 * Done, I am yet to encounter a source disagreeing with this but it is better to be safe than to be wrong.


 * Location of the finds
 * "Over 80% of the seals" – the Manual of Style recommends avoiding the % symbol in prose, and using instead the word form – "per cent" if writing in English and "percent" if in American English.
 * done, thank you for pointing this out.&#32;Iry-Hor (talk) 08:27, 14 November 2015 (UTC)


 * Location of the finds
 * I can't work out your policy on when to give numbers as digits and when as words: "three seals have been unearthed … and a further 8 are from the wider Delta region. Four seals … and a further five…". (The "2 seal impressions" in the previous section looked a bit odd to my eye, too.)
 * Fixed! I try to write down numbers lower than ten and write the others with digits. The "8" and "2" are mistakes.&#32;Iry-Hor (talk) 08:27, 14 November 2015 (UTC)


 * Vassal of the Hyksos
 * It doesn't bother me much, but I notice that in the third para you open a sentence with "Thus" followed by a comma, having in the previous para opened a sentence with "Thus" with no comma. Either is fine (I'd use a comma, myself) but perhaps consistency is desirable.
 * Fixed.&#32;Iry-Hor (talk) 08:27, 14 November 2015 (UTC)


 * King of the 14th Dynasty
 * I'm probably exposing my ignorance here, but if I am right in thinking "Hyksos" has an aspirated H (as in the English "Henry" or German "Heinrich" as opposed to the French "Henri") then I think "was an Hyksos king" should be "was a Hyksos king". Same in the lead.
 * I must say I actually have no idea: as I am not a native English speaker, my pronunciation is not reliable. I will follow you on this!&#32;Iry-Hor (talk) 08:27, 14 November 2015 (UTC)

After a further reading I have found no more points to quibble at, and it gives me much pleasure to promote the article to GA.

Overall summary
GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria
 * 1) Is it reasonably well written?
 * A. Prose quality:
 * B. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and lists:
 * 1) Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
 * A. References to sources:
 * B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:
 * C. No original research:
 * 1) Is it broad in its coverage?
 * A. Major aspects:
 * B. Focused:
 * 1) Is it neutral?
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) Is it stable?
 * No edit wars, etc:
 * 1) Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
 * A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:
 * B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass or Fail:
 * 1) Is it stable?
 * No edit wars, etc:
 * 1) Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
 * A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:
 * B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass or Fail:
 * B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass or Fail:
 * Pass or Fail:

Thank you for your review! I will nominate Sheshi at FAC some time soon.&#32;Iry-Hor (talk) 21:55, 15 November 2015 (UTC)