Talk:Shia LaBeouf/GA2

GA Review
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Reviewer: liquidluck ✽ talk  01:43, 1 April 2010 (UTC) Nice work revamping the article! Let's start with links:


 * one disambig link
 * Fixed Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 01:59, 1 April 2010 (UTC)


 * No dead links (apparently there are, they just didn't show up on toolserver), but several redirects which appear to be easy enough fixes.
 * I've fixed the redirect links, and I'm currently working on the dead links. Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 03:28, 1 April 2010 (UTC)
 * Done. Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 04:37, 1 April 2010 (UTC)


 * Possibly unreliable (and/or dead) references. Please either remove/replace them or tell me what makes them reliable:
 * http://www.tlchicken.com/view_story.php?ARTid=91
 * Removed. Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 03:28, 1 April 2010 (UTC)
 * http://www.comicscontinuum.com/stories/0707/02/shialabeouf.htm
 * Removed. Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 03:46, 1 April 2010 (UTC)
 * http://www.gurl.com/showoff/spotlight/articles/0,,648254_711127-2,00.html
 * Removed. Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 03:35, 1 April 2010 (UTC)
 * http://www.dailybulletin.com/entertainment/ci_5611107 (actually, this is dead anyway)
 * Removed. Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 04:37, 1 April 2010 (UTC)
 * http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0087544/fullcredits#cast (IMDB-not reliable)
 * Removed. Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 03:28, 1 April 2010 (UTC)
 * http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0479471/awards (IMDB)
 * Removed. Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 03:28, 1 April 2010 (UTC)
 * http://nwitimes.com/articles/2007/04/13/entertainment/entertainment/docba2676756b1cf66b862572ba00642861.txt (dead as well)
 * Removed. Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 03:35, 1 April 2010 (UTC)
 * http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1005884/ (IMDB)
 * Removed. Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 03:28, 1 April 2010 (UTC)
 * http://www.tfw2005.com/boards/transformers-movie-discussion/180451-welcome-mr-roberto-orci-you-may-ask-him-questions-69.html#post2310348 (forum)
 * Removed. Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 03:28, 1 April 2010 (UTC)


 * Citation formatting errors:
 * http://www.playboy.com/articles/playboy-interview-shia-labeouf/index.html?page=1.html - does not use a citation template
 * Fixed. Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 03:18, 1 April 2010 (UTC)
 * "Oliver Stone: Greed is legal in 'Wall Street 2'" by Brett Zongker on December 3, 2009. Associated Press (2009). - does not use a citation template
 * Fixed. Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 01:59, 1 April 2010 (UTC)
 * GQ April 2010. - does not use a citation template
 * Fixed. Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 03:18, 1 April 2010 (UTC)
 * ref name="DailyBulletin2007" - multiple references use this refname.
 * Fixed. Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 04:37, 1 April 2010 (UTC)
 * http://www.tcmdb.com/participant.jsp?participantId=1122659 - does not use a citation template
 * Fixed. Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 04:41, 1 April 2010 (UTC)

Lead

 * "In 2005, LaBeouf made his transition from teen roles in The Greatest Game Ever Played." I don't understand what this sentence is saying, and there's no further context in the body. Can you explain?
 * Fixed. Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 03:46, 1 April 2010 (UTC)


 * "which began in 2004, and subsequently lasted three years" -> which began in 2004 and lasted three years
 * Fixed. Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 03:46, 1 April 2010 (UTC)


 * "which was caused by the other driver, who had run a red light."
 * Fixed. Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 03:46, 1 April 2010 (UTC)


 * "LaBeouf was arrested at the scene of the car accident for misdemeanor drunk driving and his driver's license was suspended for one year because he refused a breathalyzer examination."
 * Had he actually been drinking, or was his license revoked simply because he refused the test?
 * While he was still at the scene of the car accident the police officers that had responded to the crash had smelt alcohol on his breath and when they had asked him for a breathalyzer he refused so his license was suspended simply refusing the test. I've re-worded that section in the arrest section to clear up any confusion. Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 04:19, 1 April 2010 (UTC)


 * Inconsistency- the last sentence says he made his directing debut in 2009 on a music video, but in the body it says he won an award for directing and co-writing a short film.
 * Fixed. Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 03:53, 1 April 2010 (UTC)


 * I'd like to see a bit more prose in the second paragraph. Perhaps note his breakthrough roles, and certainly that short film.

Early life
Nice research work here. Just shorten and combine "LaBeouf has also said that his father was "on drugs" during his childhood, being addicted to heroin and placed in drug rehabilitation for heroin addiction, while LaBeouf's mother was "trying to hold down the fort."[4]" In his youth, LaBeouf was subjected to verbal and mental abuse by his heroin-addicted father who once pointed a gun at his son during a Vietnam War flashback.[7]


 * I reworded the sentence to "LaBeouf has also said that he was subjected to verbal and mental abuse by his father who once pointed a gun at his son during a Vietnam War flashback,[5] and that his father was "on drugs" during his childhood, being addicted to heroin and placed in drug rehabilitation for heroin addiction, while LaBeouf's mother was "trying to hold down the fort."[3] " Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 11:05, 1 April 2010 (UTC)

Early work

 * Add a lead in sentence to the stand-up- perhaps about when he started. There's some stuff in the GQ interview.
 * Done. Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 21:05, 1 April 2010 (UTC)


 * Also in that GQ interview is information about his agent, who seems like a significant character in his career. Try adding her in somewhere, though it isn't required for this GAN.
 * Done. Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 18:50, 1 April 2010 (UTC)


 * In the article, it sounds like his dad was his on-set parent for Tru Confessions, but the cite says he was Shia's guardian for Even Stevens. Can you reorder the sentences?
 * Done. Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 13:14, 1 April 2010 (UTC)


 * Also, tell us some more about Shia's pitch (inspired by living with his father in a motel)
 * I added some information about his inspiration for Rent A Dad. Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 14:38, 1 April 2010 (UTC)


 * Coincidentally, I just read a Variety article on child stars. If you ctrl+F and search for Shia, there's a quote by Gary Marsh about how Shia's performance in Tru Confessions gave him the credibility to land roles outside of Disney. It might be useful to add between The Tonight Show and Tru Confessions, since the dad sentence needs to move.
 * Done. Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 14:57, 1 April 2010 (UTC)


 * "this made LaBeouf realize acting could be more than a job." -can you elaborate?
 * Done. Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 13:37, 1 April 2010 (UTC)


 * Beginning in the second half of Early work, LeBeouf's co-stars are often listed alongside him. This isn't necessary unless they have had a significant impact on his career- for example, if he has worked with them on several films as he has with Spielberg and Fox. Please remove excess co-stars.
 * Done. Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 11:37, 1 April 2010 (UTC)


 * "by critics, in which the film garnered 77% Certified Fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes" -> "by critics, garnering a 77% approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes" or "by critics, garnering a 77% "Certified Fresh" rating on Rotten Tomatoes"
 * Done. Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 11:29, 1 April 2010 (UTC)


 * Let's Love Hate sentence needs a citation at the end.
 * Done. Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 11:47, 1 April 2010 (UTC)


 * Separate the Greatest Game and Valley of the Wind sentence into two sentences.
 * Done. Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 11:29, 1 April 2010 (UTC)


 * Awards for Bobby needs a citation.
 * Done. Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 11:29, 1 April 2010 (UTC)

Other work
Yes, I'm skipping ahead, but why is this section separate? Other than the Saturday Night Live gigs (which need citations!), all of the topics in the section (stand-up, directing, agent) are already discussed in career. Why isn't it combined with career?


 * Done. I've added references to the SNL appearances and I merged "Other work" into "Career". Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 11:05, 1 April 2010 (UTC)

Result
Pass. I've gone through the rest of the body and, after fixing some grammar and citation formatting errors, believe this article is at GA level&mdash;and with a copy-edit, close to FA. Excellet work! liquidluck ✽ talk 22:23, 1 April 2010 (UTC)


 * Thanks, Crystal Clear x3 [talk] 23:37, 1 April 2010 (UTC)