Talk:Shin Dong-hyuk/Archive 1

Shin's book
This gentleman wrote a book called Escape to the Outside World: From Total Control Prison Camp No. 14 in North Korea, but I can't find it listed at Amazon, WorldCat, or anywhere. It apparently came out in 2007. There's a Google TechTalk video containing an interview with him where he reads from the book, albeit from a Korean version. Why this book is so difficult to find in the English speaking world is mind boggling. If it was never translated, that would be a true disservice to humanity... Enderandpeter (talk) 17:09, 22 August 2010 (UTC)


 * Fully agree, this book will be a very important document and I also do not understand why we don’t see it being published worldwide. I suspect it is not yet completely translated and published in English. I only saw some English excerpts in a Radio Free Asia report and in a HRNK report so far.
 * The publisher of the Korean version is the Database Center for North Korean Human Rights and the Korean book cover is shown on the NKDB homepage. Maybe you could ask them on the status of the English publication? In case you found out more, please enhance this article. Gamnamu (talk) 10:56, 24 August 2010 (UTC)

Escape from camp 14
The book 'Escape from Camp 14' by Blaine Harden says that Shin went on an extended journey to reach north korea, but did not "crawl there" as this article maintains. He spent a long time under the guise of a homeless NK and caught several trains, before bribing border guards to reach china. Being a wikipedia novice, im not really in any position to edit the article myself, however the article as it stands is incorrect. Please see the book for further details. — Preceding unsigned comment added by 110.174.237.198 (talk) 10:28, 1 April 2012 (UTC)

Copyedit
I've copy-edited the article and rewrote some phrases into a more clear and NPOV tone. The biography section still reads like an editorial or a life story, which is not how an encyclopedia presents information. Please rewrite and remove any unnecessary editorializing as well as removing any undue weight or overly detailed descriptions that may not be notable for the topic as a whole. The tone of the article is like a personal account story or a narrative. - M0rphzone (talk) 20:20, 26 May 2012 (UTC)


 * Shin Dong-hyuk's dramatic life story in NK is the primary thing he is notable for. It's not undo weight to retell it in some detail here (and 3 paragraphs isn't exactly that long). As for the rest of his life, he's hardly done anything since escaping that is notable. His life in NK may read like thriller fiction, but that is just how it was, it's all true and the article reflects the sources. You'll need to list specific words you have trouble with and explain why it's unencyclopedic or editorializing instead of generalizing with a tag. I've studied this person and read his biography and so am quite familiar with the sources and the facts. Green Cardamom (talk) 00:19, 27 May 2012 (UTC)
 * Note that I also copyedited between the version M0rphzone was looking at and the version you probably saw, resolving some of the issues raised. - Jarry1250 [Deliberation needed] 01:55, 27 May 2012 (UTC)
 * Thank you for the copy edits. My only comments would be on these two deleted sentences:
 * "to him this was the meaning of freedom" -- he says this very thing in his biography. It helps establish that he escaped not for noble notions of "freedom", but simply because he wanted to eat a hamburger. The point being, he had no idea what freedom meant, never having experienced it. To him, freedom from the camp = being able to eat what he wanted. It's an important point and not editorializing, it's in the source.
 * "Shin stepped outside the camp for the first time in his life." Why is this editorializing? It's true, and it helps emphasize that he lived his entire life inside the camp, also in the source.
 * Thanks. -- Green Cardamom (talk) 03:16, 27 May 2012 (UTC)


 * "Dramatic life story"? "Hardly done anything"? "Quite familiar"? These words are great examples of weasel phrasing and non-neutral POV. You need to get your own opinions about this event out of here. When I write about it, I don't give a shit about what the topic did; I just present the info. That's it. We don't write articles the same way a biography or memoir is written. We don't emphasize anything. An article presents factual information on the topic, nothing else. No emotion or POV involved. The fact that you're dramatizing and trying to make it sensational is soapboxing, and is not the proper writing style. If you want to include those sentences (without violating copyright as well), they should be written like "Shin considered this as the meaning of freedom" and "Shin....escaped the camp, leaving the camp for the first time." The phrase "in his life" is redundant. - M0rphzone (talk) 04:47, 28 May 2012 (UTC)


 * I'm afraid you mis-interpreted what I said about emphasis. Any writing will by its nature emphasize some things and not others, it's the nature of writing, it's impossible to be otherwise. The trick is to emphasize the right things, in the case of Wikipedia what makes the person notable. That is why this article is primarily a retelling of his experiences in North Korea. Every article is unique in that regard, in what the article emphasizes. As for the article's "tone", you still have not specified actionable problems rather just generalizations that are impossible to deal with, so again I've removed the tag, since it's impossible to know what the problem is. FYI the two sentences noted above are not in the article. Green Cardamom (talk) 07:44, 28 May 2012 (UTC)


 * I didn't specify the tone in my previous reply; it's in the first comment. The two sentences are unrelated to the tag (although they do cause issues as well). The two sentences above can be added in the article, but should be reworded like I suggested. We don't emphasize anything here; there is no trick to making a person notable. If you want to fix the article, please reword the content into a more appropriate tone instead of doing nothing. - M0rphzone (talk) 23:00, 28 May 2012 (UTC)


 * There is a problem here. All I asked for was a specific list of words or sentences that you believe have a tone problem, and you are unwilling to do so. Why are you unwilling to list the words and sentences that have a tone problem? You tell me to just fix it, but I don't see anything to fix, I don't believe it has a tone problem. So you need to show it. Don't just say there is a tone problem, it's not obvious (except to you). You need to show it so others can fix it. List the specific words or sentences that have a tone problem. If you are too busy or don't have the time or desire, than I'm going to remove the tag. If you disagree about that, then we can spend our time in other ways, like a conflict dispute resolution process. I believe my request for specifics is reasonable, and your unwillingness to support your position (beyond generalizations) is unreasonable. Green Cardamom (talk) 23:42, 28 May 2012 (UTC)

->I'll ignore your accusations and assumptions, and your jumping to conclusions; I recommend skipping the following sentences and starting from the second paragraph... ("Unwillingness to support your position" - ooh so it's become a misunderstanding...I see. Jumping to conclusions here and assuming? Isn't this a personal attack? Quite unnecessary. How did I show unwillingness; what is unreasonable?...funny). I didn't know you wanted the specific sentences specified. Tell me that first instead of jumping to conclusions. Anyways, forget about my actions or yours. That's not the problem here. To the issue itself: Alright here we go (keep it cool in here); all italicized phrases are problematic: He was essentially bred by the guards; "Instead of being rewarded for turning them in as he was promised"; "Shin still has a number of large scars from the flesh being burned and from many other abuses" - (this sentence is also trivial detail and not necessary); "For Shin, nearly every meal of his life"; "Shin would provide local information about the camp" - (not good tense to use).

There might be more, but these were some of the problems I saw. I tried to fix some of them. What do you think? Any suggestions how to reword them? - M0rphzone (talk) 00:19, 29 May 2012 (UTC)

Btw, make sure there isn't any copyvio... because the wording of his life story sounds similar to what's written in the book. - M0rphzone (talk) 00:41, 29 May 2012 (UTC)


 * "I didn't know you wanted the specific sentences specified. Tell me that first"
 * But I did. Go back and read the above thread. In my very first post I said "You'll need to list specific words you have trouble with". In my second post I said "you still have not specified actionable problems rather just generalizations". So by the third time, I was a frustrated because you continually didn't list specific actionable issues, just general unsupported accusations.
 * "the wording of his life story sounds similar to what's written in the book"
 * Again, an unsupported accusation. If you believe there is copyvio, which words and sentences are copyvio? You imply you have read the book ("sounds similar to what's written in the book") so you should be able to support it. Otherwise it's bad faith. Anyone can accuse copyvio for ulterior motives, to poison the well, for example; or suspect it but doesn't know and is fishing for a response, as another example. If you think there is copyvio support the accusation with evidence, otherwise don't say it at all, it's rude and inconsiderate. Green Cardamom (talk) 04:47, 30 May 2012 (UTC)


 * I didn't read your responses (or original response) carefully enough; that caused these unnecessary and irrelevant comments, and caused this to draw out into a pointless argument. I haven't read the book and I haven't checked for copyvio yet; the content sounds like it's written from a personal biography with the wording that's being used (and of course it's from a biography, so that's one of the reasons for this content issue), so the wording isn't appropriate for an encyclopedia article. No need for us to continue repeating the same thing/make unnecessary comments. - M0rphzone (talk) 04:50, 31 May 2012 (UTC)


 * If you think it's rude and inconsiderate, that's your own problem. I said what I wanted to say because I noticed something, but the fact that you are pointing out these things are also personal attacks. I will stop here and cease to reply. - M0rphzone (talk) 22:59, 10 June 2012 (UTC)

Edit comment
M0rphzone, you left this recent edit comment: "so this is where you get those phrases from. It's from the interview - try not to use the same phrases" Who is "you", what phrases specifically, in what interview specifically? Specifically in this sense meaning which words exactly. Also, please don't delete talk page discussions, it's not good etiquette - I also posted in that thread and see no reason to delete it. Anyway, it's just not how things are normally done (outside ones own personal page). Green Cardamom (talk) 05:49, 3 June 2012 (UTC)


 * "You" is the contributor who added those phrases; I don't know who did, and I'm not going to take the time to find out. I meant Blaine Harden's interview. The phrases are pretty much everything that's cited with the interview (Park's body, leg slipping, food and cigarettes, etc. I'm deleting the Talk comments because they are useless, are attacks and take up space. Past my comment on the specific words, there's no need to include all the comments below, as they contribute nothing to the intended discussion. - M0rphzone (talk) 05:13, 4 June 2012 (UTC)


 * Everything I contributed in this article from scratch from my own head, including the "leg slipping", "Park's body", "food and cigarettes". It is not cut and paste, I didn't even reference the book, just went by memory of the events in the book. Be careful about accusations of Copyright violation, it's a serious accusation and not good faith. You'd have to show exact word for word phrases (two words like "Park's body" is not copyvio). As for deleting huge sections of talk page discussions written by multiple people, it's just not done, no admin would approve of that. I'm a pretty nice guy so will let it pass but rest assured if you do that you'll run into problems with other editors who may not be so disposed to seeing their comments unilaterally removed! Green Cardamom (talk) 04:26, 5 June 2012 (UTC)


 * So you were the one who added them in. I'm not accusing anyone of adding copyvio content or cut-pasting. Just be careful (any contributor) because the tone/content style sounds similar, but of course it's from the sources so it will be/seem similar. The "discussion" was actually only by 2 people, and it did nothing - in fact it just made things worse. Thanks for letting me know what you think about this (and I thought you weren't a guy because of your username and the way you reply (not implying anything). - M0rphzone (talk) 05:50, 5 June 2012 (UTC)


 * I have no problem being mistaken for the fairer sex seeing as how ours can be such dicks (not implying anything). Green Cardamom (talk) 16:37, 5 June 2012 (UTC)


 * As if you're not one yourself (not implying anything). Anyways you need to stop taking things so seriously and telling your opinions everywhere. Go focus on other topics/events/issues instead of starting discussions about what others are doing. Mind your own business. If you're smart enough, then don't continue replying to this, and I wouldn't care about what others are doing if I were you - unless your ego is so big that you have to take everyone's replies seriously and continue to tell them what you think. Just stop; end of talk. - M0rphzone (talk) 23:18, 5 June 2012 (UTC)

Just found this talk page, and don't know why the discussion has been so heated. Whatever was the reason M0rphzone, it doesn't look good if you remove other user's comment at article's talk page. You could remove obvious personal attacks at your personal talk page, but with all due respect you don't own this page. If you want to archive the discussion, please do it properly. Thanks, --PBJT (talk) 00:03, 9 June 2012 (UTC)


 * This has nothing to do with you, PBJT, so mind your own business . It wasn't my intention to archive this page, but now that you brought it up, I'll go ahead and archive it. - M0rphzone (talk) 18:51, 10 June 2012 (UTC)