Talk:Shinagawa no Tsuki, Yoshiwara no Hana, and Fukagawa no Yuki/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: MX (talk · contribs) 00:38, 29 October 2017 (UTC)

Lead paragraph

 * – Does the body specifically say that Zenno requested to have this theme? From what I read, Utamaro used this theme, but there was no mention of Zenno requesting it. Sorry if I missed it.


 * – "have a reputation of being Utamaro's ..."


 * – Make sure to add the location of the museums in the body (i.e. "Freer Gallery of Art in Washington, D.C." and "collection of the Wadsworth Atheneum in Hartford, Connecticut"), just like you did at Fukagawa no Yuki, saying "Okada Museum of Art (ja) in the town of Hakone in Japan". That way this is cited.

Background

 * – remove link from courtesans per WP:OVERLINK; already linked earlier


 * – discovered

Execution and history

 * – since it is assumed in context that we are speaking about Utamaro, I would change to “are the only known paintings Utamaro did not sign”.
 * Done. Curly "JFC" Turkey 🍁 ¡gobble! 01:08, 29 October 2017 (UTC)
 * – Edo; add (modern Tokyo) and remove from the rest


 * – link kyōka here and remove it from the following sentence


 * – what is a Kamaya shop?


 * – I would change to Western world to avoid confusion (assuming that is what you mean)
 * Done. Curly "JFC" Turkey 🍁 ¡gobble! 01:09, 29 October 2017 (UTC)

Description and analysis

 * – “one of the three”?
 * Fixed. Curly "JFC" Turkey 🍁 ¡gobble! 01:06, 29 October 2017 (UTC)


 * - remove links per WP:OVERLINK


 * - “on the kimonos of the women in each”

Shinagawa no Tsuki

 * – This stand-alone paragraph needs a source.


 * – link Freer Gallery of Art


 * – remove link per WP:OVERLINK


 * – remove link per WP:OVERLINK; Edo is mentioned in the first section. Please add (modern Tokyo) there instead


 * – is this a pleasure house or a person? Because if it is a pleasure house, I would word: “Sagamiya Chūbei, the most prosperous pleasure house in Shinagawa.”


 * – link Depth perception


 * – remove link per WP:OVERLINK


 * – who is this person? I would add a short description (i.e. "merchant", like you did with Zenno)


 * - remove link per WP:OVERLINK since you will link it in the first mention

Yoshiwara no Hana

 * - remove link per WP:OVERLINK


 * - remove link per WP:OVERLINK; parenthesis of Tokyo not needed since it will be used in the first mention.

Fukagawa no Yuki

 * – remove link per WP:OVERLINK


 * – please fix the spelling and grammar in this sentence
 * Fixed. Curly "JFC" Turkey 🍁 ¡gobble! 01:05, 29 October 2017 (UTC)

Images

 * All clear

Comments
Thanks for taking this! I won't be able to get to the rest of this right away, but I just wanted to point out in response to WP:OVERLINK that (a) I think you mean MOS:DUPLINK (WP:OVERLINK refers to linking to terms readers should be familiar with) and (b) per DUPLINK, repeating links in the lead & body is acceptable, especially given that the lead is supposed to be a summary of the body (the body should be independent of the lead). Curly "JFC" Turkey 🍁 ¡gobble! 01:14, 29 October 2017 (UTC)
 * Got it! Thanks for the clarification. MX ( ✉  •  ✎  ) 01:43, 29 October 2017 (UTC)
 * Hi, let me know when you're done with the updates so I can take a look at them. If you need more time, let me know! Thanks. MX ( ✉  •  ✎  ) 00:43, 6 November 2017 (UTC)
 * MX—Hi, I'm really sorry, I just haven't had the time to give to this, and I probably won't for the next couple days at least. I know you're supposed to close this down after a certain amount of inactivity—it wouldn't bother me if you had to do that.  I can just relist. Curly "JFC" Turkey 🍁 ¡gobble! 04:07, 6 November 2017 (UTC)

Hi, there's no need to fail this nomination when it is so close to promotion. Would you be able to address the three points below so I can pass this review? I've taken care of the rest. MX ( ✉  •  ✎  ) 01:24, 8 November 2017 (UTC)
 * – is this a pleasure house or a person? Because if it is a pleasure house, I would word: “Sagamiya Chūbei, the most prosperous pleasure house in Shinagawa.”


 * – who is this person? I would add a short description (i.e. "merchant", like you did with Zenno)


 * – This stand-alone paragraph needs a source.


 * Had to fail this nomination after the issues were not addressed... hate to this see this happen. MX ( ✉  •  ✎  ) 16:02, 11 November 2017 (UTC)