Talk:Shira Piven

Request Edits October 9
Hi, I work for Shira Piven, the subject of this article. It’s in need of improvements and corrections. I’ve suggested several below and as suggested on the Contact Us page instructions for the subjects of article [ I’d request that an independent editor review these, and decide whether to implement them. Thank you.

1.Please update the following lines in the info box

WITH:


 * spouse            = Adam McKay (m. 1999)


 * children          = Lili Rose Pearl McKay

Rationale: Adds names of Piven’s two daughters, a pre-existing field in the infobox and corrects the date of marriage to Adam McKay.

2.In the introductory paragraph, please replace the first sentence: Shira Piven (born October 8, 1961) is an American movie director and occasional actress and producer.”

WITH:

Shira Piven (born October 8, 1961) is an American director, writer and filmmaker.

Rationale: Updates to correct Piven’s primary occupations with supporting citations.

3. Please add a new section called “Early Life and Education” under the introduction.

Rationale: Adding section to better align this article with the format for a Good Article biography.

4. Please add the following into “Early Life and Education” as the first paragraph:

INSERT:

Piven was raised in Evanston, Illinois, a city just outside Chicago. Piven’s parents, Joyce Piven and Byrne Piven, founded the Piven Theater Workshop in Evanston. Piven performed with the theater company during her adolescence and started teaching and directing theater in her 20s. She studied drama and music at Bennington College, graduating in 1983.

AND DELETE from “PERSONAL LIFE”:

Piven grew up in a predominantly Jewish family in Evanston, Illinois. Her brother is actor Jeremy Piven, and she is the daughter of the actors Joyce Piven and Byrne Piven (1929-2002). She graduated from Bennington College in 1983.

Rationale: Removes poorly-sourced and written information. Adds the city Piven was raised in. Includes the fact her parents ran a theater company, which is crucial to how Piven became a notable director. Adds pertinent history and background to support education and career history, including the specific topics Piven studied in college as it pertains to her current career. Adds reliable supporting sources.

5. Please add a new section called “Career” above “Personal Life.”

Rationale: Adding section to better align this article with the format for a Good Article biography.

6. In the new “Career” section, as the first paragraph

PLEASE ADD:

Piven has directed more than 20 plays in New York, Chicago, Los Angeles, and Washington, D.C., including “Fully Loaded” in 2006 and “Victims of Duty” in 2018. In 1999, she founded the Water Theater Company in New York.

Piven directed her first feature film, “Fully Loaded” in 2011, an adaptation of the stage play she co-wrote and directed about two single moms on a night out in LA. Her second feature, Welcome to Me, was co-produced by Will Ferrell and Adam McKay in 2014 and stars Kirsten Wiig as a woman with borderline personality disorder who wins the lottery and launches her own talk show.

Rationale: Provides details of her career roots as a theater director and founder before she transitioned into directing film and television. Adds reliable supporting sources. Provides information about Piven’s directorial transition from theater to film with her first feature film. Adds specifics to the article about the “Welcome to Me” film and color about the subject matter (mental health), which was extensively covered in the national press. Adds reliable sources to support the article.

7. In the “Personal Life” section, please replace the second paragraph “She has been married to writer, director, and producer Adam McKay since 1996 and they have two children.”

WITH:

“Piven married writer and director Adam McKay in 1999. She and McKay reside in Los Angeles with their daughters Lili Rose and Pearl.

Rationale: Corrects date of marriage to Adam McKay, adds names of children and where the family resides. Revises sentence structure to be grammatically correct and adds supporting reliable sources.

8. In the “Personal life” section, after the sentence: “She has been married to writer, director, and producer Adam McKay since 1996 and they have two children” or its suggested revision just above:

PLEASE ADD:

Her younger brother is actor Jeremy Piven.

Rationale: Includes information about the director's brother, a notable actor. Adds reliable sourcing.

9. In the “Personal Life” section, please replace the sentence:

“Piven serves on the Creative Council of Represent.Us, a nonpartisan anti-corruption organization. ”

WITH:

Piven has taught theater to prison inmates and gang members.

Rationale: Provides information on Piven’s community work as a director and teacher, and adds reliable sources. Removes a sentence that isn’t supported by a reliable secondary source.

Thank you for your consideration.Bobcat8730 (talk) 16:22, 9 October 2020 (UTC)
 * I am happy with the edits proposed and made the changes for you. I have omitted the children's names from the infobox as they are non-notable. Thanks. L150 13:26, 11 October 2020 (UTC)


 * Thank you for taking the time to review the proposals for updating this article. Could you consider a few more, below?

1. In the “Career” section, please replace the first sentence that reads: “Piven has directed more than 20 plays in New York, Chicago, Los Angeles, and Washington, D.C., including “Fully Loaded” in 2006 and “Victims of Duty” in 2018. ”

WITH:

Piven has directed more than 20 plays in New York, Chicago, Los Angeles, and Washington, D.C., including “Fully Loaded” in 2006, actor Patrick McCartney’s one person show “Sinister Kid” in 2013, and “Victims of Duty” in 2018.

Rationale: Adds “Sinister Kid,” a notable credit to the list of plays.

2. In the “Career” section, please replace the second sentence that reads “In 1999, she founded the Water Theater Company in New York.

WITH:

In 1999, she founded the Water Theater Company in New York  and led the improv theater group Burn Manhattan.

Rationale: Adds detail about an improv group Piven led as a director, a crucial detail in her theater career.

3. In the “Career” section, as the fourth paragraph, please add:

Piven has also directed television episodes for  Transparent,  Claws,  Divorce,  Sweetbitter, and  One Mississippi.

Rationale: Includes Piven’s work as a television director for high-profile and notable television shows.

4. In the “Personal” section, after the sentence “Piven has taught theater to prison inmates and gang members. ”

PLEASE ADD:

Piven and McKay both serve as board members of Jail Guitar Doors USA, a non-profit founded by Wayne Kramer (guitarist) that provides musical instruments to inmates. Thanks for your consideration. Bobcat8730 (talk) 16:14, 30 October 2020 (UTC)
 * Thanks, these have been added. For point number 3, I have used different sources because IMDb is regarded as an unreliable source on Wikipedia. LM150 13:59, 2 November 2020 (UTC)