Talk:Shirley Chisholm/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: A. C. Santacruz (talk · contribs) 20:59, 1 December 2021 (UTC) I'll start a review once I'm done with some work deadlines for tomorrow, should take me a few days once I start, but I'll make sure to keep you updated. Santacruz &#8258;  Please ping me!  20:59, 1 December 2021 (UTC)


 * Hi ! We are approaching the seven day average GA review timeline, just wondering if you're still planning on doing the review? Thank you. –– FormalDude Emojione 1F427.svg talk 04:41, 7 December 2021 (UTC)
 * My apologies,, I'll get right on it. Santacruz  &#8258;  Please ping me!  09:44, 7 December 2021 (UTC)

Comments
Minor grammar/spelling suggestions: In "Early life": Copyvio returns a very high (98.2%) similarity with this Harlem World Magazine article. I'm not entirely sure how to proceed so I'll ask for advice, but everything else about the article passes GACR. Santacruz &#8258;  Please ping me!  16:56, 8 December 2021 (UTC) Website is backwards copy of wikipedia, passing GA accordingly. Congratulations, ! This was a really nice article to read and I'm so happy there is a +1 in the list of black women with GA articles about them. Santacruz &#8258;  Please ping me!  17:16, 8 December 2021 (UTC)
 * Ruby St. Hill was a skilled seamstress and domestic worker, and had trouble working and raising the children at the same time. The double "and" here reads weirdly. I'm not entirely sure right now what other wording would make sense (perhaps "[...] and had trouble working while raising the children [...]" could work).
 * . Now reads: "Ruby St. Hill was a skilled seamstress and domestic worker who experienced the difficulty of balancing work with raising children at the same time." –– FormalDude Emojione 1F427.svg talk 00:23, 8 December 2021 (UTC)
 * The "As a member of the Harriet Tumban Society, [...]" sentence has too many commas. It's readable, but could be improved by changing the wording at the start of the sentence (", she advocated for inclusion, " seems somewhat redundant, but there are other ways one could get rid of a few commas).
 * added parenthesis and removed one comma. –– FormalDude Emojione 1F427.svg talk 00:23, 8 December 2021 (UTC)
 * There's an excessive amount of External Links. Find a Grave seems unnecessary, for example. Some links are dead, and I'll tag them in the article itself.
 * Some clarification of what responsibilities being a "Democratic National Committeewoman" entails would be nice.


 * Thanks for your review, much appreciated! –– FormalDude Emojione 1F427.svg talk 21:25, 8 December 2021 (UTC)