Talk:Shyima Hall

Peer Review
(Lead)In the first sentence can you put the date of death unless she is still alive maybe put 'present' to know how old she is. Why is she important? what does she do to advocate against human trafficking? any controversies surrounding her? (toc)I like how there is a parallel progression of the table of contents and the story of her life. (Sections)the titles of the sections seem to match with whats in them. But i do not clearly understand the locations under Childhood and Family. Also rescue seems like peacock word for a section title. is 'captivity' to strong of a word for advocating against human trafficking? i like how there is inline citations for quotes.(Tone) It sounds like a story of her life broken down into segments. Sounds like you taking a stance, like the words used like dirty or hurt. Pcolina (talk) 21:46, 18 November 2016 (UTC)