Talk:Sihayo kaXongo/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Mujinga (talk · contribs) 02:20, 6 January 2022 (UTC)

Overview
Hi Dumelow, I will take this on as part of WikiProject Good articles/GAN Backlog Drives/January 2022. I'll make a start now but I don't think I'll have the time to complete the review today. Mujinga (talk) 02:20, 6 January 2022 (UTC)
 * An interesting read, I've made some comments and put them below. I'll put the article on hold. Mujinga (talk) 10:29, 6 January 2022 (UTC)
 * Thanks for the review Mujinga, I'll start working through your comments and will try to address them all today - Dumelow (talk) 11:01, 6 January 2022 (UTC)
 * Hi Mujinga, I've think I've acted on everything now. Many thanks - Dumelow (talk) 13:44, 6 January 2022 (UTC)
 * Nice one thanks for the fast answers, this is now a good article. I've taken the liberty of adding alts to the pix per MOS:ALT and a couple of wikilinks on one caption, please revert/alter as you wish. I enjoyed reading the article and collaborating with you on it. All the best for 2022! Mujinga (talk) 22:48, 6 January 2022 (UTC)

Pictures

 * Licenses ok, and pix relevant
 * "An 1879 map of Zululand. Sihayo's territory (labelled uSirayo) is shown at the southern end of the western border with the Transvaal (the straight blue line), set out by Sihayo and Pretorius." could add some wikilinks here
 * Linked Zululand, the Transvaal and Pretorius


 * "Cetshwayo, photographed in 1875" - could add a wikilink
 * Linked Cetshwayo


 * "The crossing of the Buffalo at Rorke's Drift" - could add wikilinks and can you rephrase so it doesn't sound like buffalo are crossing the river?
 * Added "river"


 * "A depiction of Chelmsford observing the action at Sihayo's Kraal" - could wikilink chelmsford
 * Linked Chelmsford

Copyvio check

 * All good with earwig

Lead

 * "In some contemporary British documents he is referred to as Sirhayo or Sirayo." could copy the sentence below and then the ref is in the body not the lead
 * Good point, done


 * " iNdabakawombe iButho (social age group and regiment)" is a bit hard to parse; so it's a regiment formed out of people the same age?
 * Yes, a bit hard to describe. The iButho (plural amaButho) was the basis for Zulu society at this time.  The men of a similar age were banded together into an iButho.  These varied in size depending on the age range the king selected and the demographics of the kingdom but could be anywhere between a few hundred and several thousand men strong.  It served as a means of economic (the amaButho could be directed to carry out labour for the state) and social control (it served to bind their loyalties to the king rather than their region and were under strict control of the king, including having no freedom to marry until directed to do so) but also functioned as a regiment in times of war.  I am not sure how best to phrase this in the lead as I don't want to go into too much detail.


 * "became one of the casus belli of" suggest "became a casus belli of" because it works better singular
 * Done


 * "in the first action of the war" prob true but not referenced or mentioned below
 * It was, but not important, removed


 * "The Zulu kingdom was broken up after the war and Sihayo lost his land, he continued to support Cetshwayo who was permitted to return" suggest breaking the sentence with a semi-colon or even deleting the second half
 * Yep, just deleted the last part

Early life

 * Link Zulu?
 * Linked to Zulu people


 * Link kraal
 * Linked


 * "to mark the kingdom's western border" suggest "to delineate the kingdom's western border" or similar, because there's a mark in the next sentence as well
 * Agreed and done

1878 border incident

 * "attending Cetshwayo" - attending the court of Cetshwayo?
 * Agreed and done


 * "turned over for justice in Natal" - "turned over to justice in Natal"?
 * Changed to "be handed over to face justice in Natal", if that's OK?
 * Great! Mujinga (talk) 22:39, 6 January 2022 (UTC)


 * " his standing as king as Sihayo was his" - " his standing as king since Sihayo was his"?
 * Agreed and done

Anglo-Zulu War

 * "and a large herd of these were" suggest "and a large herd were"
 * Agreed and done

Post-war

 * "chief Mnyamana kaNgqengelele" what's the hierarchy with Sihayo here? are they both chiefs or was Mnyamana kaNgqengelele senior?
 * He was Cetshwayo's senior chief (and had advised against war), but refused any appointment by the British inthe post-war partition. Added "Cetshwayo's senior chief" here
 * Thanks for clarification Mujinga (talk) 22:40, 6 January 2022 (UTC)


 * "He was killed in a hut there on 2 July" suggest "He was killed in a hut on 2 July"
 * Done


 * "Cetshwayo fled to the Reserve Territory and would die there on 8 February 1884. Cetshwayo's son Dinuzulu recovered the kingdom with assistance from the Boers but was forced to cede territory which became the Nieuwe Republiek and then the Vryheid District of the South African Republic.[36] Zululand was formally annexed by the British in 1887.[37]" - are these last sentences needed in the article about Sihayo kaXongo or should we end with his death? or indeed anything on his particular legacy
 * Not much more to say about Sihayo unfortunately. I agree with you on the post-death bits and have trimmed these right back