Talk:Sincerity Is Scary/GA2

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 10:12, 4 March 2021 (UTC)

Second time reviewing one of your articles during the GAN backlog, as this is the oldest songs nominee that can be reviewed by me! --K. Peake 10:12, 4 March 2021 (UTC)

Infobox and lead

 * Target neo jazz to Nu jazz ✅
 * "The song was released on" → "It was released on" swapping order with the writing/production sentence ✅, plus the release date needs to be directly mentioned in the body
 * "It was written by" → "The song was written by" ✅
 * Remove wikilink on trumpet ✅
 * " who provides the" → "who provide the" ✅
 * "Musically, "Sincerity Is Scary" is an experimental neo soul, R&B and neo jazz ballad built" → "An experimental neo soul, R&B and neo jazz ballad, "Sincerity Is Scary" is built" with the target ✅
 * Too much of what is incorporated in the production is listed in the lead; specifically recommend removing gospel choirs per repetition ✅
 * Remove wikilink on saxophone ✅
 * Wikilink arrangements ✅
 * Target lounge to Lounge music ✅
 * "for being cold and" → "for being generally cold and" ✅
 * "and causing a breakdown" → "and leading to a breakdown" ✅
 * Remove the remarking part, as that is not notable for the lead ✅
 * "was met with generally positive reviews" → "received generally positive reviews" ✅
 * "who praised the production," → "who mostly praised the production," ✅
 * Remove D'Angelo from the compared part, as the sections mentioning the artist are outside of reception ✅
 * "It performed modestly on international music charts, peaking at" → "It peaked at" for more appropriate lead language ✅
 * UK chart position should come first, as that is their native country ✅
 * "Silver in the United Kingdom, denoting sales of over 200,000 units." → "silver in the United Kingdom by the British Phonographic Industry (BPI)." with the wikilink ✅
 * "A music video directed by Warren Fu" → "An accompanying music video, directed by Warren Fu," with the wikilink ✅
 * "and it later appeared" → "while it later appeared" ✅

Background and development

 * Quote box looks good!
 * Thank you!  Gia co bbe  talk 15:36, 4 March 2021 (UTC)


 * "November of the same year and included" → "November of the same year and includes" ✅
 * Remove music annotation website introduction to Genius ✅
 * Remove wikilink on Beats 1 Radio ✅
 * "recognizing his defence mechanisms" → "recognizing certain defence mechanisms of his" ✅
 * Img looks good!
 * Thank you!  Gia co bbe  talk 15:36, 4 March 2021 (UTC)


 * "with the group providing" → "with them providing" because they are a choir, but to write so here would be too repetitive ✅
 * "Healy lauded them as" → "Healy lauded the choir as" ✅
 * "Abbey Road's Studio Three and was engineered by Chris Bolster and assisted" → "Abbey Road's Studio Three, which were engineered by Chris Bolster with assistance" with the target ✅
 * Remove wikilink on trumpet ✅
 * "the band first heard Hargrove play" → "they were highly impressed by Hargrove's playing on" per the source not saying this was the first time they heard him ✅
 * "on one of the band's" → "on one of the 1975's" but the first non-band info is not mentioned by the source ✅
 * "in remembrance of Hargrove." → "in remembrance of Hargrove, who Healy assured "made those songs so special for us"." per the source ✅

Music and lyrics

 * Remove wikilinks on saxophone and trumpet for the audio sample text ✅
 * The experimental neo soul info is not mentioned by [21] ✅
 * [21] cites neo-soul, [25] cites experimental. I can switch them if that makes it more clear.  Gia co bbe  talk 16:05, 4 March 2021 (UTC)
 * Keep [25] where it is due to relevance to the later parts, but [21] does not mention the song as being neo soul on the original or archive. --K. Peake 16:36, 4 March 2021 (UTC)
 * How strange, I have no idea why I would put that there. Anyways, I added a different source!  Gia co bbe  talk 17:21, 4 March 2021 (UTC)


 * Target F#♭4 to E (musical note) ✅
 * E (musical note) or F (musical note)?  Gia co bbe  talk 16:05, 4 March 2021 (UTC)
 * I am a little confused, as it is an F note but the redirect took me to the E article; probably F actually but I assume you know best. --K. Peake 16:36, 4 March 2021 (UTC)


 * Remove target on F#♭5 ✅
 * Wikilink arrangements ✅
 * The gospel choir is not mentioned by any of the sources in that sentence; if you are referring to the London Community Gospel Choir, then remove from this area since their involvement is mentioned later in the para ✅
 * Was just paraphrasing the "chorus of voices on the song's refrain" in the NPR source, but a more specific source that directly calls it "gospel choirs" has been added!  Gia co bbe  talk 16:23, 4 March 2021 (UTC)


 * Remove wikilink on saxophone ✅
 * [32][33][25][35] should be put in numerical order ✅
 * "as a songwriter, and" → "as a songwriter and" ✅
 * Target social media surveillance to Privacy concerns with social networking services ✅
 * "and communication breakdowns" → "and a communication breakdown" per the sourcing ✅
 * "He considered the line" → "He considered the lyrics" ✅
 * "noting the later lyric is" → "noting the later phrase is" ✅
 * "throughout their second studio album." → "throughout the album." ✅
 * Source says: "The phrase “What a shame” is one that popped up several times on The 1975’s last album, ‘I Like It When You Sleep, for You Are So Beautiful yet So Unaware of It'", which is the band's sophomore record, this is their third.  Gia co bbe  talk 16:23, 4 March 2021 (UTC)
 * My bad; change to mentioning the album by title then. --K. Peake 16:36, 4 March 2021 (UTC)
 * No worries!  Gia co bbe  talk 17:23, 4 March 2021 (UTC)


 * Allmusic → AllMusic ✅
 * "that the use of layered vocals in the chorus is" → "that the vocals in the chorus are" per the source; no layers are mentioned ✅
 * Remove the release year of "If I Believe You" due to it being listed in the previous section ✅
 * "shared sonic similarities owing" → "share sonic similarities owing" ✅

Reception

 * Retitle to Release and reception, adding a sentence about the single release as the first sentence with a source ✅
 * Img looks good!
 * Remove the part about criticism, as that is not notable when all you have here for what was specifically praised is Hargrove (via an image) ✅
 * "deemed "Sincerity Is Scary" a" → "deemed the song a" to avoid repeating the title too much ✅
 * Shouldn't the critical info be organised by thematic element, i.e the content that reviewers most praised coming first?
 * Organized as release/accolades (pp. 1), content regarding music (pp. 2), content regarding lyrics/themes (pp. 3), and mixed/negative and commercial aspects (pp 4).  Gia co bbe  talk 17:33, 4 March 2021 (UTC)
 * This looks a lot better, great job! --K. Peake 17:44, 4 March 2021 (UTC)
 * Thank you!  Gia co bbe  talk 18:35, 4 March 2021 (UTC)


 * "contribution to "Sincerity Is Scary"." → "contribution to the song." ✅
 * The Ringer should not be italicised ✅
 * "highlighted the contrast between" → "highlighted the contrast of" ✅
 * "most exciting single released from" → "most exciting single from" to be less wordy ✅
 * "commenting that the song's subject matter" → "commenting that its subject matter" ✅
 * "were performed through" → "are performed through" ✅
 * "commended the band" → "commended the 1975" ✅
 * "exploring larger, more serious topics," → "exploring a larger, more serious topic," per the source ✅
 * Identify Althea Legaspi as being from Rolling Stone ✅
 * "called it a" → "called the song a" ✅
 * "she felt the band was" → "Cudmore felt the band was" ✅
 * Wikilink UK Singles Chart ✅
 * Ireland should come before the US because that is in Europe and it was also on a main singles chart ✅
 * "certified Silver in the United Kingdom," → "certified silver in the UK by the British Phonographic Industry (BPI)," with the wikilink ✅

Development and release

 * Img looks good!
 * "Building upon an old Hollywood musical theme," → "Building upon a Hollywood musical theme," per the source ✅
 * Are you sure the chorus girls target is correct ✅
 * [54] should be solely at the end of the para because it backs up all of the sentences after [53] as well as the first sentence of the para ✅
 * The first sentence of Fu's quote is not needed since the several months part is that reworded; keep the rest of the quote though ✅
 * The flow is not sourced as being panoramic ✅
 * "called it his proudest" → "called the video his proudest" ✅
 * "soup levels wholesome."" → "soup levels wholesome"." per MOS:QUOTE ✅
 * "On 26 October," → "On 26 October 2018," ✅
 * "a caption reading" → "a caption reading:" ✅
 * "In the picture, the singer wears a" → "On both the occasions, the singer wore a" ✅
 * "challenged the band's fanbase" → "challenged the 1975's fanbase" ✅

Synopsis

 * It is not sourced that there is a framed photo on the wall due to the gif not showing up ✅
 * "titled I Like America and America Likes Me," → "entitled I Like America and America Likes Me," ✅
 * Target should only be on "of the same name" text ✅
 * "out the 1975's name." → "out the 1975's name; this is why an extra hand was added." per the source ✅
 * "his demeanour changes to" → "Healy's demeanour changes to" ✅
 * "No Rome cameos in" → "No Rome makes a cameo in" ✅
 * The dog being a Dalmatian is not sourced ✅
 * "he encounters a man" → "Healy encounters a man" to be specific ✅
 * "modernity has failed us" → "Modernity has failed us" per the source's stylisation ✅
 * "Healy encounters a passerby with a bouquet of flowers, and" → "The singer steals flowers and" ✅
 * Img looks good!
 * "immediately emerge from a" → "immediately emerging from a" ✅
 * "He engages a dance-off" → "He engages in a dance-off" ✅
 * ""A Change of Heart" (2016) and" → ""A Change of Heart" (2016), and" ✅
 * [57][58][55] put in numerical order ✅
 * [53][57][55] put in numerical order ✅
 * It is not sourced that the piano cartoonishly crashes onto the sidewalk, but mention the chorus starting at this point per Billboard ✅
 * It is not mentioned by* the source that the camera pans when he is in front of the theatre ✅
 * "The singer performs the" → "Healy performs the" ✅
 * "on her using a watering can, and her appearance is" → "on her, with the girl's appearance being" per the source ✅

Reception and controversy

 * "by contemporary music critics." → "by contemporary critics." ✅
 * "He compared it to" → "He compared the visual to" ✅
 * "Graves deemed it a" → "Graves deemed the music video a" ✅
 * "echoed Graves' comments," → "echoed Graves' second comment," ✅
 * "called it "incredibly" → "called the visual "incredibly" ✅
 * "best music videos of the year," → "best music videos of 2018," ✅
 * "included it on her" → "included the video on her" ✅
 * "commending its visual beauty," → "commending the visual beauty," ✅
 * "dance routines, calling it" → "dance routines, while calling it" ✅
 * "praising the 1975's" → "with C.S. praising the 1975's" ✅
 * "ranked it at" → "ranked the visual at" ✅
 * "said it is "is so" → "said it "is so" ✅
 * "in front of near-identical backdrops." → "in front of similar backdrops." ✅
 * [78] should be solely at the end of the para because it backs everything past [77] up ✅
 * "a "massive fan" of the 1975 who made" → "a "massive fan" who heavily respects the 1975 and made" per the source ✅

Live performances

 * Wikilink Jack Whitehall ✅
 * "Healy utilized the same" → "Healy also utilized the same" ✅
 * "The band performed" → "The 1975 performed" ✅
 * "the Coachella music festival on 12 April 2019." → "the Coachella Festival on 12 April." with the target ✅
 * "their Music For Cars Tour, and" → "their the Music for Cars Tour and" ✅
 * "as part of their Music For Cars Tour setlist," → "as part of the tour's setlist," ✅
 * The "backdrop of the houses" part being replicated is not mentioned by the source, but "dancing through the streets" is so reword accordingly I guess
 * It is sourced in the embedded video that auto-plays the moment you open the page, in addition to being sourced again in a separate video further down in the article. But I'll add it the other part too.  Gia co bbe  talk 22:03, 4 March 2021 (UTC)

Credits and personnel

 * Target drums to Drum kit ✅
 * Target keyboard to Keyboard instrument ✅

Charts

 * Good

Certifications

 * See MOS:TABLECAPTION ✅

Final comments and verdict

 * until all of the issues are fixed; surprised I managed to finish this review over the course of one day! --K. Peake 21:02, 4 March 2021 (UTC)
 * I always appreciate your speed!  Gia co bbe  talk 22:36, 4 March 2021 (UTC)
 * ✅ now; you did make a few errors but I looked and fixed the ones I saw since they were minor mistakes! --K. Peake 07:01, 5 March 2021 (UTC)