Talk:Sing (Travis song)/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 20:06, 10 May 2021 (UTC)

This is my second review of an article of yours; hopefully it goes well! --K. Peake 20:06, 10 May 2021 (UTC)

Infobox and lead

 * Any specific order in the infobox for the B-sides?
 * Does the order of the B-sides matter? ResPM  (T&#x1F508; &#x1F3B5;C) 13:31, 11 May 2021 (UTC)
 * Shouldn't it be consistent with the track listing section: "Ring Out the Bell", "Killer Queen", "You Don't Know What I'm Like", "Beautiful"? --K. Peake 14:09, 11 May 2021 (UTC)
 * Fair point. ResPM  (T&#x1F508; &#x1F3B5;C) 15:08, 11 May 2021 (UTC)


 * Change release date to 24 April 2001, as the first one is always supposed to be used
 * Remove hlist per Template:Infobox song, especially with the genre only being one
 * Alternative covers should have the plural removed because there's only one and place it before the music video template
 * You should move the lead single part to a separate sentence, making it the third one
 * "It was written by Travis frontman" → "The song was written by frontman"
 * "produced by Nigel Godrich, and" → "while produced by Nigel Godrich and"
 * The third sentence should begin as "The song was released as the album's lead single..." before giving the initial date and the labels, as well as the airplay mention
 * "the song "Swing" but eventually changed it to "Sing"," → "the melody "Swing" but eventually changed the title for the song,"
 * "loved one as a form of healing." → "loved one for healing." but the lyrical meaning is not properly sourced in the body
 * I'm paraphrasing what Healy says in the Comp section: feeling free enough to cut loose and sing in front of someone you love, although the bit about healing may have been too far of a leap. I'll take that out. ResPM  (T&#x1F508; &#x1F3B5;C) 13:31, 11 May 2021 (UTC)
 * Oh wait, I think I just combined two source to reach a conclusion that wasn't stated by one source. Oops.
 * The release and airplay info does not belong in the second para
 * The first sentence of the second para should start as ""String" received acclaim from contemporary music critics, who often praised its"
 * "It became the band's" → "The song became the band's"
 * "reaching the top 10 in New Zealand and several countries in Europe," → "reaching the top 10 in several other European countries," adding France after the comma and New Zealand at the end of the sentence for correct order due to the UK being in Europe
 * "where it rose to" → "peaking at"
 * "it reached the top 40" → "the song reached the top 40"
 * Pipe Modern Rock Tracks to Alternative Airplay
 * Wikilink music video
 * "the band attending a sophisticated dinner" → "Travis attending a dinner party" with the pipe per MOS:LINK2SECT
 * The pies being thrown is not sourced, plus it is written that they re enacted the video not made an allusion
 * I've tweaked the Music Video section accordingly to reflect this; one of the sources mentions the pies but not the video. I think I got too circular with that one. Since this relationship is now severed, should a Live performances section be created for this bit? ResPM  (T&#x1F508; &#x1F3B5;C) 13:31, 11 May 2021 (UTC)
 * Maybe you could create a section titled live performances and other usage, mentioning the cover at the end? --K. Peake 14:09, 11 May 2021 (UTC)

✅. ResPM  (T&#x1F508; &#x1F3B5;C) 15:08, 11 May 2021 (UTC)

Background and release

 * "right before he planned" → "the day before he planned" but shouldn't [2] be at the end of this sentence too?
 * "B-sides for the band's 1999 single" → "B-sides for their 1999 single" with the pipes
 * Pipe swingbeat to New jack swing
 * "to write a basic melody" → "to compose a basic melody" per the source, plus you should mention that he did this on guitar
 * Pipe chorus to Refrain
 * "to the air," he said on the band's official website." → "to the air", he said on the website." per MOS:QUOTE
 * Pipe chords to Chord (music)
 * "asked to put production of "We Are Monkeys" on hold" → "asked for production of "We Are Monkeys" to be put on hold"
 * "the rest of the band," → "the rest of Travis,"
 * ""swing" to "sing"." → ""swing" to "sing" on the chorus."
 * "Since Travis lead guitarist" → "Since lead guitarist"
 * "after recording to demo track," → "after recording the demo,"
 * "of the word "swing" to "sing", modifying the lyric so that it" → "of "swing" to "sing", modifying the lyrics so that the song"
 * Remove wikilink on The Invisible Band
 * "wife, Nora Kryst, in the booklet for The Invisible Band." → "wife Nora Kryst in the album booklet."
 * "to radio in April 2001" → "to radio during the same month"
 * Wikilink physical single per MOS:LINK2SECT
 * It is linked. Do I need to change the target? ResPM  (T&#x1F508; &#x1F3B5;C) 13:49, 11 May 2021 (UTC)
 * You should wikilink to itself instead of the section per the MOS guideline. --K. Peake 14:09, 11 May 2021 (UTC)
 * Okay. I hope that's what you wanted. ResPM  (T&#x1F508; &#x1F3B5;C) 15:10, 11 May 2021 (UTC)

✅. ResPM  (T&#x1F508; &#x1F3B5;C) 15:10, 11 May 2021 (UTC)
 * "It was released in" → "The song was released on CD in" with the pipe

Composition and lyric

 * Retitle to Composition and lyrics
 * British colloquialisms aren't exactly my strong point. I swore I saw a user changing "lyrics" to "lyric" on several articles, but then another British user changed them back. This is confusing me, but I'll make the change for now. ResPM  (T&#x1F508; &#x1F3B5;C) 14:15, 11 May 2021 (UTC)
 * Wikilink banjo and pipe strings to String instrument on the audio sample text
 * ""Sing" is a" → "Musically, "Sing" is a"
 * Shouldn't you mention "Piano" from [1], or was that only included during the recording? Also, reception mentions the song includes guitar so you could add this here because it is notable for comp.
 * I've been searching to the end of planet Earth for the musicians, and it was literally in the only ref that was present before I started editing this article. How embarrassing.
 * Remove wikilink on London, as it is too obvious
 * Remove "swelling" because the source does not use the word or anything similar
 * "consisting of several guitars" → "consisting of strumming guitars" with the wikilink
 * Are you sure the AllMusic source is referring to this as a love song? Also, the lyrical info here does not properly source what is written in the lead.
 * I think I used the wrong ref. Billboard calls it a love song. ResPM  (T&#x1F508; &#x1F3B5;C) 14:15, 11 May 2021 (UTC)
 * "referred to as" → "having been referred to as"
 * Remove pipe on chorus
 * "repetition of the word "sing"." → "repetition of "sing"." since the lack of capitalisation makes it clear you are referencing the word
 * "and he explained that" → "and he elaborated that"
 * "partially inspired the song's lyric," → "partially inspired the word," because we know what word is being referred to
 * I can't see all of the info for the above sentence since Orlandon Sentinel is not accessible and the archive is broken
 * Wayback Machine only saves redirects of this source. As I said before, I'm not a technical user, so I'm not sure how to fix this. ResPM  (T&#x1F508; &#x1F3B5;C) 14:15, 11 May 2021 (UTC)
 * Does the ref work in your country or not currently? --K. Peake 08:10, 12 May 2021 (UTC)
 * Yes. I can view the ref just fine here in the US. The passage from the source that I'm citing is this: The listener feels the joy in his voice on the banjo-led opener "Sing," a sentimental song about his wife's unwillingness to sing for him. ResPM  (T&#x1F508; &#x1F3B5;C) 12:32, 12 May 2021 (UTC)

Critical reception
✅. ResPM  (T&#x1F508; &#x1F3B5;C) 12:32, 12 May 2021 (UTC)
 * "positively reviewed the song," → "also positively reviewed the song,"
 * "its lyric as "playful", "silly", and" → "its lyrics as "playful", "silly" and" per British English
 * Well, I guess what I've seen isn't true then. ResPM  (T&#x1F508; &#x1F3B5;C) 14:19, 11 May 2021 (UTC)
 * "praising its "infectious" hook, and" → "praising the "infectious" hook and"
 * "and noting how the band and its producer, Nigel Godrich," → "while noting how the band and producer Nigel Godrich"
 * "of its production" → "of the song's production"
 * "did not besmirch the band's" → "did not besmirch Travis'"
 * Remove comma after previous album
 * "said that the banjo in the song set the track" → "said that the banjo sets the track"
 * "the lyric was "banal" and the song as a whole was" → "the lyrics are "banal" and the song as a whole is"
 * "voice was "passionate and expressive"" → "voice sounds "passionately expressive""
 * "gave the song a scathing review in 2005, labelling it" → "gave "Sing" a scathing review in 2005, labelling the song"
 * "Pop Rescue wrote that Healy's vocals were a flawless compliment to the instrumentation and" → "the staff of Pop Rescue wrote that Healy's vocals flawlessly compliment the instrumentation and"

Chart performance

 * Retitle to Commercial performance
 * "In the United Kingdom, "Sing" debuted at number three, its peak, on" → "In the UK, "Sing" debuted and peaked at number three on"
 * "It was Travis's fourth top-10" → "It was Travis' 4th top-10" per MOS:NUM on comparative values
 * "on the country's chart for 14 weeks, the most weeks" → "on the chart for 14 weeks, the longest period"
 * "and was the band's" → "and was Travis'"
 * Is there really supposed to be a dash in top 40?
 * Grammatically, only when it's being used as a compound adjective (top-40 hit; top-20 single). I think it looks better when the numbers are spelled out. In cases where "top [number]" being used as a noun, a hyphen isn't needed. Does this work differently for British English or am I being a little too Grammar Nazi?
 * From my experience with positions and dashes, I think it is the same just wasn't sure due to top 40 being lower than most. --K. Peake 08:10, 12 May 2021 (UTC)

✅. ResPM  (T&#x1F508; &#x1F3B5;C) 12:32, 12 May 2021 (UTC)
 * Add (BPI) in brackets
 * Silver should not include capitalisation
 * "of over 200,000." → "of over 200,000 units in the country."
 * "and coming in at" → "and ranking at" to avoid confusion, as the former may sound like its last position on the weekly chart
 * "number eight on 9 August 2001." → "number eight on 9 August."
 * "of number two on 29 September 2001." → "of number two the following month." to avoid overly detailed info
 * "It spent 23 weeks" → "The song spent 23 weeks"
 * "earning a Gold certification in October 2001" → "as well as earning a gold certification in October of that year"
 * "it climbed to" → "it charted at"
 * Pipe Australian Singles Chart to ARIA Charts
 * Add (RIANZ) in brackets
 * "In the United States," → "In the US," per MOS:US

Music video

 * "Top of the Pops on" → "Top of the Pops (TOTP) on" per MOS:ACROFIRSTUSE
 * Pipe dinner party to Dinner parties per MOS:LINK2SECT
 * "the band were invited to perform "Sing" on Top of the Pops," → "Travis were invited to perform "Sing" on TOTP,"
 * "during their live performance." → "during the last 30 seconds of their live performance." but the number three part of this sentence is unsourced
 * "as Top of the Pops utilised a" → "as TOTP utilised a"
 * Move the award to the bottom of Synopsis, retitling to Synopsis and reception

Development

 * Pipe girls school to Single-sex education
 * "and Healy recalled that" → "with Healy recalling that"
 * The party arrival part is not sourced
 * Healy's video diary mentions it after he talks about the directors and their families: Later in the day we don some slightly more formal atire and go outside to shoot our arrival at the snobs party.
 * "took place, and the cast" → "took place and the cast"
 * "prints were gradually made and" → "prints were made from the takes and"

Synopsis

 * "of food, and the" → "of food and the" on the img text
 * Sources need to be added for the synopsis at parts since MOS:PLOTSOURCE only allows a lack of sourcing for the summary
 * This is a problem, since no webs source talk about the synopsis except Travis's website. Which parts need to be edited/cited? ResPM  (T&#x1F508; &#x1F3B5;C) 14:44, 11 May 2021 (UTC)
 * Parts about the summary, e.g. how the video begins, do not need sourcing per the MOS guideline, while lists of differing events do. Try and use the website to source parts like these, otherwise cut this down unfortunately... --K. Peake 08:10, 12 May 2021 (UTC)
 * I've trimmed and cited the synopsis as best as I could. Any comments? ResPM  (T&#x1F508; &#x1F3B5;C) 12:32, 12 May 2021 (UTC)


 * "garnishing the pies, and" → "garnishing the pies and"
 * Wikilink tuxedos
 * This is already linked in the Development section
 * Remove wikilink on monkey
 * "watching the band perform" → "watching them perform"
 * "throwing food, and the situation" → "throwing food and the situation"
 * Pipe slow-motion to Slow motion
 * "to see the pandemonium." → "to see the chaos."
 * "stare at him, and" → "stare at him and"
 * A minor point regarding the band performing on television. The television set itself cannot be black-and-white as the OSD is clearly shown to be in green (Seen as the monkey increases the volume), so the video itself must be monochrome. Not sure how to best re-word the relevant part though. — Preceding unsigned comment added by 2A02:908:1260:8400:DEB9:93D:3597:45 (talk) 18:52, 6 July 2022 (UTC)

Formats and track listings
✅. ResPM  (T&#x1F508; &#x1F3B5;C) 14:51, 11 May 2021 (UTC)
 * Wikilink Andy Dunlop
 * were written by Healy → were written by Fran Healy, with the wikilink
 * by Payne → by Dougie Payne, with the wikilink

Credits and personnel

 * Shouldn't you create this section using the liner notes, as there is not only writers/producers but people who played strings too?
 * Yes, I probably should. Credits are scarce on the liner notes for some reason, so I'll have to search through the notes and refs. Give me a minute. ResPM  (T&#x1F508; &#x1F3B5;C) 15:16, 11 May 2021 (UTC)
 * Okay, it's ready. ResPM  (T&#x1F508; &#x1F3B5;C) 15:31, 11 May 2021 (UTC)
 * This is a neat addition, but use so there is the right space between credits and personnel. --K. Peake 08:10, 12 May 2021 (UTC)

✅. ResPM  (T&#x1F508; &#x1F3B5;C) 12:32, 12 May 2021 (UTC)

Charts

 * Good

Certifications
✅. ResPM  (T&#x1F508; &#x1F3B5;C) 14:53, 11 May 2021 (UTC)
 * Sales and certifications for "Sing" → Certifications and sales for "Sing"

Release history
✅. ResPM  (T&#x1F508; &#x1F3B5;C) 14:54, 11 May 2021 (UTC)
 * The refs should be centred

Cover versions

 * This shouldn't be its own section; maybe move the info to background and release or somewhere else?
 * Wikilink Stephen Thomas Erlewine
 * Another user added this cover in, and the article was short at the time, so I decided to keep it. Should I just remove it since it doesn't meet WP:COVERSONG? It didn't experience popularity or win any awards. ResPM  (T&#x1F508; &#x1F3B5;C) 14:56, 11 May 2021 (UTC)
 * I think it should be removed, plus retitle the last section to Live performance since there's only one after the song has been out for 20 years. --K. Peake 08:10, 12 May 2021 (UTC)

✅. ResPM  (T&#x1F508; &#x1F3B5;C) 12:32, 12 May 2021 (UTC)

Final comments and verdict

 * until all of the issues are fixed, but reach out if you are confused! --K. Peake 12:46, 11 May 2021 (UTC)
 * Okay, I've tackled all the sections. Please respond to my questions/concerns where appropriate. ResPM  (T&#x1F508; &#x1F3B5;C) 15:32, 11 May 2021 (UTC)
 * See my responses in relevant areas above! --K. Peake 08:10, 12 May 2021 (UTC)
 * ✅ now, the video synopsis looks fine and I did some copy editing elsewhere for you! --K. Peake 07:13, 13 May 2021 (UTC)