Talk:Siri Nilsen/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: GreatOrangePumpkin (talk · contribs) 11:37, 19 December 2011 (UTC)


 * GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)


 * 1) It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
 * There should be more links, like Oslo, folk, pop, acoustic, ballad, Norway, etc
 * Done Evenrød (talk) 06:58, 31 December 2011 (UTC)
 * "Her mother is American" - do you know if she has dual citizenship? Maybe she is American-Norwegian.
 * ??. I have not found an answer for that in the sources that I've read. Evenrød (talk) 06:58, 31 December 2011 (UTC)
 * "Vi som ser i mørket (We who see in the dark) in 2009; " - I don't see any meaning of the semicolon; replace it with a comma
 * OK Evenrød (talk) 06:58, 31 December 2011 (UTC)
 * I hardly understand Norwegian, so I need to ask you. When do Norwegians capitalize words? Do they capitalize nouns, for example? Not sure if we need to capitalize translated proper nouns
 * Even though the italicized record album titles are written to follow Norwegian convention (only proper names are capitalized), I’ve capitalized the corresponding translated titles per English grammar rules - which I’ve noticed is already making the sentences in question more understandable and readable.  Evenrød (talk) 06:58, 31 December 2011 (UTC)
 * "Nilsen writes lyrics that are personal" - maybe her lyrics are about her personal life?
 * I changed the wording on that Evenrød (talk) 06:58, 31 December 2011 (UTC)
 * "with various music critics expressing similarity in noting the clarity and range of her voice, describing it in terms such as unique, beautiful, melancholic, and innocent." - that should be reworded
 * Done Evenrød (talk) 06:58, 31 December 2011 (UTC)
 * "Nilsen plays ukulele in a string-plucking style" - isn't that obvious?
 * My thinking on that was to include it for readers of this article who have never heard Nilsen before. In describing her sound I wanted to differentiate between what most people often associate ukulele playing with:  a tinny-sounding strumming stereotyped in television and film as always Hawaiian - or else this variation of strumming: ;  versus what her fingerpicking technique actually sounds like as demonstrated in the second track here:  I ended up rewriting that phrase. Evenrød (talk) 06:58, 31 December 2011 (UTC)
 * "both acoustically and with the backing of a band." - this should be rewritten
 * Done Evenrød (talk) 06:58, 31 December 2011 (UTC)
 * These are just examples. Article should be copyedited; I suggest requesting it at WP:GOCE/REQ.
 * I'll submit it. Evenrød (talk) 06:58, 31 December 2011 (UTC)
 * Before I make a final review, please fix those issues:
 * In "Voice acting roles" there should be more wikilinks, eg "Star Wars: The Clone Wars"
 * Printed publications, such as The Guardian, should be italicized
 * And words such as "Spellemannprisen " should be in normal typeface
 * In "Voice acting roles", names don't sort correctly -> use sortname
 * Sentences can be easily merged together, eg "She is the daughter of Norwegian folk singer Lillebjørn Nilsen. Her mother is American. " It doesn't sound great.-- ♫GoP♫ T C N 13:27, 25 January 2012 (UTC)
 * OK that's done Evenrød (talk) 11:11, 31 January 2012 (UTC)
 * 1) It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (references): b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):
 * Norwegian sources should be checked for reliability
 * I've done that as I researched sources for the article. I don't know how reliable the two sources are for her voice acting roles however.  There aren't contradictions between them however.  Evenrød (talk) 06:58, 31 December 2011 (UTC)
 * All Norwegian references should have a language parameter
 * Do you mean on every reference?  I've designated language=Norwegian on each ref so far. Evenrød (talk) 06:58, 31 December 2011 (UTC)
 * Imdb and Youtube are unreliable
 * Took them out Evenrød (talk) 06:58, 31 December 2011 (UTC)
 * 1) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a (major aspects): b (focused):
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * Pass/Fail:


 * Checklinks check: ok
 * Dabsovler check: ok
 * Fixed dashes
 * On hold for 7 days. Until those issues are resolved, I will continue my review. ♫GoP♫ T C N  16:57, 28 December 2011 (UTC)

copy edit complete
I just wanted to let the reviewer and nominator know that I responded to the request made at the Guild of Copy Editors to copy edit this page. I clean up some of the grammar and punctuation, and I rearranged some sentences to form better paragraphs and to help the flow a little bit. As far as the prose is considered, I think it satisfied GA criteria. I did find one item that I believe requires a citation; I will leave the rest of the article considerations to the GA reviewer. -- Tea with toast  (話)  22:47, 14 January 2012 (UTC)

citation
I will probably bundle footnotes for that sentence in the lead paragraph. Thank you for the excellent copy edit. Evenrød (talk) 14:34, 16 January 2012 (UTC)

and..
In rereading the different sourced music reviews I'm seeing that the adjective, "melancholic" and what is meant by "personal lyrics/expression" (adding it back in) needs to be better defined within the article (the reviewer having already pointed out the latter) to show a more three-dimensional portrait, but mostly to just make it more understandable to readers. It's bad etiquette to figure this out after the copy edit, :( but I think that the clarifications will end up being positive. I'm not going to be able to do it for a few days.  Evenrød (talk) 17:54, 17 January 2012 (UTC)