Talk:Slow Dancing (Aly & AJ song)/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 05:56, 21 July 2022 (UTC)

I will conduct this review today! --K. Peake 05:56, 21 July 2022 (UTC)

Infobox and lead

 * Pipe Amanda Joy Michalka to AJ Michalka in the infobox
 * Done.--Changedforbetter (talk) 15:24, 21 July 2022 (UTC)


 * Pipe Alyson Michalka to Aly Michalka
 * Done.--Changedforbetter (talk) 15:24, 21 July 2022 (UTC)


 * The writing/production sentence should be the second of the para instead; follow this by the first four sentences of the second para moved here since they should come before the actual release date
 * "Ryan Spraker and Yves Rothman," → "Ryan Spraker, and Yves Rothman,"
 * Done.--Changedforbetter (talk) 15:24, 21 July 2022 (UTC)


 * "also producing the track." → "also handling the production."
 * Done.--Changedforbetter (talk) 15:24, 21 July 2022 (UTC)


 * Pipe 1960s music to 1960s in music
 * Done.--Changedforbetter (talk) 15:24, 21 July 2022 (UTC)


 * In the new order, the comp and lyrics parts should start the second para
 * Done.--Changedforbetter (talk) 15:24, 21 July 2022 (UTC)


 * "rock and indie folk ballad" → "rock, and indie folk ballad"
 * Done.--Changedforbetter (talk) 15:24, 21 July 2022 (UTC)


 * ""Slow Dancing" was originally envisioned" → "It was originally envisioned"
 * Done.--Changedforbetter (talk) 15:24, 21 July 2022 (UTC)


 * "re-wrote it into a" → "re-wrote it as a"
 * Done.--Changedforbetter (talk) 15:24, 21 July 2022 (UTC)


 * "updating its lyrics to" → "updating the lyrics to"
 * Done.--Changedforbetter (talk) 15:24, 21 July 2022 (UTC)


 * ""Slow Dancing" was originally" → "the song was originally"
 * Done.--Changedforbetter (talk) 15:24, 21 July 2022 (UTC)


 * "they found its soft," → "they found the soft,"
 * Done.--Changedforbetter (talk) 15:24, 21 July 2022 (UTC)


 * ""Slow Dancing" was positively received by critics" → "The song received positive reviews from critics"
 * Done.--Changedforbetter (talk) 15:24, 21 July 2022 (UTC)


 * "isolation and longing as" → "isolation, and longing as"
 * Fixed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 15:24, 21 July 2022 (UTC)


 * "A music video directed by Aly's husband Stephen Ringer" → "A music video for the song directed by Stephen Ringer"
 * Done.--Changedforbetter (talk) 15:24, 21 July 2022 (UTC)


 * "A Touch of the Beat Tour beginning in" → "A Touch of the Beat Tour, beginning in"
 * Done.--Changedforbetter (talk) 15:24, 21 July 2022 (UTC)

Writing and recording

 * "written by Aly & AJ band members AJ and Aly Michalka, with" → "co-written by Aly & AJ band members AJ and Aly Michalka with"
 * Done.--Changedforbetter (talk) 19:01, 21 July 2022 (UTC)


 * "Ryan Spraker and Yves Rothman,[1][2] while Rothman produced" → "Ryan Spraker, and Yves Rothman,[1][2] while Rothman also produced"
 * Done.--Changedforbetter (talk) 19:01, 21 July 2022 (UTC)


 * Pipe 1980s music to 1980s in music
 * Done.--Changedforbetter (talk) 19:01, 21 July 2022 (UTC)


 * [9] should only be invoked once in the sentence
 * Done.--Changedforbetter (talk) 19:01, 21 July 2022 (UTC)


 * "but they did not complete its lyrics" → "but did not complete the lyrics"
 * Done.--Changedforbetter (talk) 19:01, 21 July 2022 (UTC)


 * "its subject matter and" → "the subject matter and"
 * Done.


 * "AJ admits that" → "AJ admitted that"
 * Done.--Changedforbetter (talk) 19:01, 21 July 2022 (UTC)


 * "during which they" → "during which the duo"
 * Done.--Changedforbetter (talk) 19:01, 21 July 2022 (UTC)


 * "Rothman agreed that they" → "Rothman agreed that Aly & AJ"
 * Done.--Changedforbetter (talk) 19:27, 21 July 2022 (UTC)


 * Pipe social distancing to Social distancing measures related to the COVID-19 pandemic
 * Done.--Changedforbetter (talk) 19:27, 21 July 2022 (UTC)


 * "where it was impossible for listeners to envision anything" → "where listeners would not envision anything"
 * Done.--Changedforbetter (talk) 19:27, 21 July 2022 (UTC)


 * [8] should solely be invoked at the end of the sentence
 * Fixed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 19:27, 21 July 2022 (UTC)


 * "completed for the album." → "completed for A Touch of the Beat Gets You Up on Your Feet Gets You Out and Then Into the Sun."
 * Done.--Changedforbetter (talk) 19:27, 21 July 2022 (UTC)


 * "include Sylvain Carton on saxophone;" → "included Sylvain Carton on saxophone;" with the wikilink
 * Fixed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 17:18, 25 July 2022 (UTC)


 * "cello and organ;" → "cello, and organ;"
 * Fixed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 17:18, 25 July 2022 (UTC)


 * Pipe demo to Demo (music)
 * Fixed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 17:18, 25 July 2022 (UTC)


 * "of summer evenings spent" → "of summer nights spent"
 * Fixed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 17:18, 25 July 2022 (UTC)

Release

 * This should be the section after music and lyrics
 * Remove wikilink on studio album
 * fixed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 17:23, 25 July 2022 (UTC)


 * Remove commas around Jared Rosenberg
 * Done.--Changedforbetter (talk) 17:23, 25 July 2022 (UTC)


 * "AJ argues that TikTok exposure" → "AJ argued that the TikTok exposure"
 * Done.--Changedforbetter (talk) 17:23, 25 July 2022 (UTC)


 * "instead claiming they" → "instead asserting the duo"
 * Done.--Changedforbetter (talk) 17:23, 25 July 2022 (UTC)


 * "and hoped the song" → "and he hoped the song"
 * Aly is a female; updated to "she".--Changedforbetter (talk) 17:23, 25 July 2022 (UTC)


 * "AJ insists they were not" → "AJ insisted they were not"
 * Fixed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 17:23, 25 July 2022 (UTC)


 * Remove or replace Gaudie per WP:RSSM
 * Removed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 17:23, 25 July 2022 (UTC)


 * "The duo credits fans' response" → "The duo credited fans' response"
 * Fixed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 17:23, 25 July 2022 (UTC)


 * "James McAlister and The She-J" → "James McAlister, and the She-J" per MOS:THEMUSIC
 * fixed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 17:23, 25 July 2022 (UTC)

Music and lyrics

 * Pipe harmonies to Harmony
 * Fixed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 16:53, 26 July 2022 (UTC)


 * Wikilink electropop
 * Fixed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 16:53, 26 July 2022 (UTC)


 * Remove wikilinks on "Attack of Panic" and "Joan of Arc on the Dance Floor"
 * Removed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 16:53, 26 July 2022 (UTC)


 * "observed that the band's" → "observed that Aly & AJ's"
 * Fixed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 16:53, 26 July 2022 (UTC)


 * Remove or replace The Crimson White per WP:RSSM
 * Removed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 16:53, 26 July 2022 (UTC)


 * "with a simple guitar riff" → "with a guitar riff"
 * Done.--Changedforbetter (talk) 16:53, 26 July 2022 (UTC)


 * Remove or replace CommRadio per WP:RSSM
 * Removed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 16:53, 26 July 2022 (UTC)


 * "cello and saxophone." → "cello, and saxophone."
 * Fixed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 16:53, 26 July 2022 (UTC)


 * Introduce Thomas Bleach here
 * Introduction added.--Changedforbetter (talk) 16:53, 26 July 2022 (UTC)


 * Remove or replace Pipe Dream per WP:RSSM
 * Removed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 16:53, 26 July 2022 (UTC)


 * "while other critics have likened" → "Certain critics have likened"
 * Fixed.


 * Remove or replace The Independent Florida Alligator per WP:RSSM
 * Removed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 16:53, 26 July 2022 (UTC)


 * "the chorus admitting" → "the chorus admitting," with the pipe
 * Fixed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 16:53, 26 July 2022 (UTC)


 * "The song's pre-chorus reads" → "The song's pre-chorus is repeated"
 * Fixed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 16:53, 26 July 2022 (UTC)


 * Remove pipe on COVID-19 social distancing
 * Removed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 16:53, 26 July 2022 (UTC)


 * "with Forty5 Presents dubbing it" → "with the staff of Forty5 Presents dubbing it"
 * Fixed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 16:53, 26 July 2022 (UTC)


 * "MELODIC Magazine 's Marisa Graham noticed" → "Melodic magazine's Marisa Graham noticed"
 * Fixed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 16:53, 26 July 2022 (UTC)


 * "The Alternative Presss Augusta Battoclette" → "Alternative Presss Augusta Battoclette" with the pipe
 * Done.--Changedforbetter (talk) 16:55, 26 July 2022 (UTC)

Reception

 * Any thematic order for the reviews here, i.e what they focused on?
 * Edited entire section for more concise order.--Changedforbetter (talk) 19:49, 27 July 2022 (UTC)


 * "said it possesses a" → "said the song possesses a"
 * No longer in article.--Changedforbetter (talk) 19:49, 27 July 2022 (UTC)


 * Remove or replace Pipe Dream per WP:RSSM
 * Removed.


 * "both AJ and Aly's vocal performances, Maggiore said" → "Aly & AJ's vocal performance, Maggiore said,"
 * No longer in article.--Changedforbetter (talk) 19:49, 27 July 2022 (UTC)


 * "music critic Thomas Bleach felt the song perfectly demonstrates the band's" → "Bleach felt the song perfectly demonstrates the duo's"
 * Fixed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 19:49, 27 July 2022 (UTC)


 * Remove or replace The Hoya per WP:RSSM
 * Removed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 19:49, 27 July 2022 (UTC)


 * "while Sweety Highs Taylor Augustin" → "whereas Sweety Highs Taylor Augustin"
 * Fixed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 19:49, 27 July 2022 (UTC)


 * Remove or replace Benedetto per WP:RSSM
 * Removed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 19:49, 27 July 2022 (UTC)


 * "said the artists" → "said Aly & AJ"
 * No longer in article.--Changedforbetter (talk) 19:49, 27 July 2022 (UTC)


 * "of its lyrical weight" → "of the lyrical weight"
 * Fixed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 19:49, 27 July 2022 (UTC)


 * Remove pipe on Alternative Press
 * Fixed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 19:49, 27 July 2022 (UTC)


 * "Writing for the Alternative Press, Augusta Battoclette likened" → "Writing for Alternative Press, Battoclette likened"
 * Fixed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 19:49, 27 July 2022 (UTC)


 * Remove or replace The Daily Californian per WP:RSSM
 * Removed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 19:49, 27 July 2022 (UTC)


 * "one of the album's three best tracks." → "one of the three best tracks on A Touch of the Beat Gets You Up on Your Feet Gets You Out and Then Into the Sun."
 * Fixed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 19:49, 27 July 2022 (UTC)


 * "Ineye Komonibo of Refinery29 included" → "Komonibo of Refinery29 included"
 * Fixed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 19:49, 27 July 2022 (UTC)

Music video

 * "Directed, edited and produced" → "Directed, edited, and produced"
 * Fixed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 15:07, 28 July 2022 (UTC)


 * Wikilink Santa Ynez, California
 * Done.--Changedforbetter (talk) 15:07, 28 July 2022 (UTC)


 * "The sisters credit" → "The sisters credited"
 * Done.--Changedforbetter (talk) 15:07, 28 July 2022 (UTC)


 * "which in turn distinguishes" → "which in turn distinguished"
 * Done.--Changedforbetter (talk) 15:07, 28 July 2022 (UTC)


 * Are you sure "as time passes" is useful at the end?
 * Not essential. Removed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 15:07, 28 July 2022 (UTC)

Live performances

 * Wikilink tambourine
 * Done.--Changedforbetter (talk) 20:10, 29 July 2022 (UTC)


 * Wikilink acoustic guitar
 * Done.--Changedforbetter (talk) 20:10, 29 July 2022 (UTC)


 * Remove wikilink on TikTok
 * Removed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 20:10, 29 July 2022 (UTC)


 * "New Years Eve celebration." → "New Year's Eve celebration." with the wikilink
 * Fixed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 20:10, 29 July 2022 (UTC)


 * "the duo performed "Slow Dancing" on" → "they performed "Slow Dancing" on"
 * Done.--Changedforbetter (talk) 20:10, 29 July 2022 (UTC)


 * Pipe morning talk show to Breakfast television--Changedforbetter (talk) 20:10, 29 July 2022 (UTC)
 * Fixed.


 * Remove or replace The Lantern per WP:RSSM
 * Removed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 20:10, 29 July 2022 (UTC)

Credits and personnel

 * Use so there is the right space between credits and personnel

Final comments and verdict

 * for two weeks until all of the issues are fixed; the sources may take a bit of time to replace or remove. --K. Peake 08:17, 22 July 2022 (UTC)
 * Hi K. Peake; please be advised that I have decided to withdraw my GA nomination of this article, due to the amount of sources you've deemed unreliable. Unfortunately I am struggling to find the time to replace/correct them within a reasonable timeframe; perhaps I will revisit at a future date. Apologies for wasting your time.--Changedforbetter (talk) 15:28, 5 August 2022 (UTC)
 * ❌ after your decision, however that is sad since I put a lot of effort into reviewing this. --K. Peake 07:49, 6 August 2022 (UTC)