Talk:Small Boys Unit

Untitled
Megan:

A few comments:


 * Content seems very good. The lead section is excellent in its detail and overview of the subject.


 * In lead section, I think you should refer to the war by proper name as the "Sierra Leone Civil War". Also, don't call it "recent". If this article lasts, it will be read years from now. Refer to time specifically, not relatively.


 * Time frame. In general, I am often uncertain about the time that actions took place and about the causes for the actions. Various sections talk about both what happened during the war and things that happened after the war. I think you could make a pass looking for ways to clarify the time frame.


 * For example, in Actions of the SBU, you say "Currently Sierra Leone has 10K amputees" (in 10 years the reader won't know what "currently" meant). You follow that with "At this point, the child soldier was free to cut anything..." (what is "this point"?)


 * You say that in 1989 the UN adopted the Convention. But that was before the Sierra Leone Civil War. A reader who is skimming quickly might think that the UN adopted this convention in response to the SBU. You might begin this section by saying "Before the SBU existed the UN had already adopted .... in 1989."

Mechanics


 * Clean up punctuation and spacing around footnotes. The footnotes should appear immediately after the end of a sentence, after the punctuation mark, and without a space before the footnote.


 * Clean up spacing around periods


 * In references, put quotes around article titles, italicize titles of publications. Don't leave URLs exposed. Footnote 7 has a broken URL


 * Proofread for stray words, missing words, missing punctuation, such as apostrophes, and other typing errors. You have a lot of them. If you need help finding them let me know.


 * hyphenate compound adjectives, or join the words (e.g. "light weight gun").

Joegrohens (talk) 01:06, 8 December 2010 (UTC)

Additional Comments

 * The info box should be for "Small Boys Unit". If you want to use Ishmael Beah's image, that's OK, but the info box must be about the topic of your article. Also, you are using an info box for writers. See if you can find one for military units, squads, or something more generic. If you can't make a suitable info box, feel free to omit it.


 * In the second sentence, put "RUF" in parentheses after the first mention of the Revolutionary United Front


 * The section on "Psychological Effects" should paraphrase (summarize in your own words) more of the quoted material. Only quote when the wording is especially notable, or when it is important to get the information in the original speaker's exact words. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Joegrohens (talk • contribs) 20:09, 8 December 2010 (UTC)

External links modified
Hello fellow Wikipedians,

I have just added archive links to 2 one external links on Small Boys Unit. Please take a moment to review my edit. If necessary, add after the link to keep me from modifying it. Alternatively, you can add to keep me off the page altogether. I made the following changes:
 * Added archive https://web.archive.org/20071026125901/http://www.iss.co.za/pubs/ASR/11No3/McIntyre.html to http://www.iss.co.za/pubs/asr/11No3/McIntyre.html
 * Added archive https://web.archive.org/20100531204811/http://policy-traccc.gmu.edu/resources/publications/studentforum/Lipman_PUBP_710_TOC_Taylor's_Diamonds_and_Children_FINAL.pdf to http://policy-traccc.gmu.edu/resources/publications/studentforum/Lipman_PUBP_710_TOC_Taylor%27s_Diamonds_and_Children_FINAL.pdf

When you have finished reviewing my changes, please set the checked parameter below to true to let others know.

Cheers.—cyberbot II  Talk to my owner :Online 03:23, 1 February 2016 (UTC)