Talk:Social determinants of health in poverty

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Peer edit
Hello fellow wikipedians, I am a GPP student that will be adding to this article as part of my assignment and wanted to let y,all know here. I will add some of the samples of my addition here first then transferring over to the actual article. The Bold part I will be adding.

Family affluence directly affects food security, which correlates with adolescent nutrition and health. Family affluence also influences participation in regular physical activity. While nutrition and physical activity promote physical well-being, both promote psychological health as well. Thus family affluence is correlated with reduced psychological stress during adolescence. Family affluence also affects access to healthcare services; however, in countries with universal healthcare systems, youth belonging to less-affluent households still display poorer health than adolescents from wealthier families. '''A study that looked at people from their childhood to adult hood they found out how housing environment contributed to death among adults. The main cause of death in this study was from pollutants found in the housing they resided in despite controlling for socioeconomic factors.'''[1]

The location where people live affects their health and life outcomes, which means impoverished people's health outcomes are especially determined by whether they live in a metropolitan area or rural area. '''In the 19th and 20th century with the developments slums there was an increase in poor maintains of the city. The crowding, poor sanitation and poor dwellings in the city brought infectious disease and illnesses thus becoming a public health concern.[2]''' With the prevalence of inner city ghettos and slums around the globe in cities, with approximately 1 billion people living in slums globally, living situation is an especially strong determinant of health in poverty. Urban areas present health risks through poor living conditions, limited food resources, traffic accidents, and pollution.

Other: In the United States, HIV is more prevalent in cities along the east coast, with prevalence among African-American women in cities 5 to 15 times higher than for women in all areas of that state. "Inner-city women are the most likely of all in the United States to birth dead or extremely sick babies, partially because the massive erosion of prenatal care availability in their area.Slums, made up exclusively of extremely poor populations, provide a particularly strong threat for poor health. Child mortality in the slums of Nairobi, which 60% of the population inhabits, is 2.5 times greater than in other areas of the city. In the slums of Manila, 39% of children have TB, which is twice the national average. Housing instability constitutes that people have been or will be homeless in the future and the instability in their lives contributes to less health care access and acute health care than other populations.[3] As cities became more populated and increased rent those that receive section 8 had to move away from areas that they could afford not for commodity.[4]

According to US HHS, "In 2009, children 6–17 years of age were more likely to be uninsured than younger children, and children with a family income below 200% of the poverty level were more likely to be uninsured than children in higher-income families." The continuous increase in healthcare costs decreased the passion of costs in regards to increased premiums, thus imposing burden on the consumers and not benefitting them at all.[5] In elderly populations, individuals below 400% of the poverty line were between 3 and 5 times more likely to lack insurance. Children below 200% of the poverty line were also less likely to have insurance than wealthier families. Also, in 2009 in the US, 20% of adults (ages 18–64) below 200% of the poverty line did not receive their necessary drugs because of cost, compared to only 4% of those above 400% of the poverty line.

These social structures seem so normal in our understanding of the world that they are almost invisible, but inequality in resource access, political power, education, healthcare, and legal standing are all possible perpetrators of structural violence. The social structure of being a noncitizen provides very little medical insurance and health care in which many noncitizen are forced to seek care form clinics and outpatient departments.[6] Structural violence occurs "whenever persons are harmed, maimed, or killed by poverty and unjust social, political, and economic institutions, systems, or structures" Structural violence can contribute to worse health outcomes through either harming or killing victims, just like armed violence can have these effects.

I will also be adding other stuff like this to other parts of the article if y'all do not agree feel free to erase or edit it out.

Almahern (talk) 01:22, 9 May 2019 (UTC)Almahern

Comments
Please let me know if you have any comments. This is still a work in progress for a class at Rice University.

Thank you, Lbockhorn (talk) 15:19, 2 April 2012 (UTC)lbockhorn
 * There is a lot of cleanup needed, which I can detail as I found time, but could you please identify the course, the professor, and whether it is listed at WP:USEP? Sandy Georgia  (Talk) 15:53, 2 April 2012 (UTC)

This is from my user information: My name is Lauren, and I am a student at Rice University, in Houston, TX; Class of 2015. I am in an exciting course called "Poverty, Gender, and Human Development" working towards a minor in Poverty, Justice, and Human Capabilities, and will be making a contribution to related areas in Wikipedia. I am very interested in poverty, justice, building right relationships, and policy. I am interested in contributing to work on structural violence and other public institutions and broader systems that contribute to the continuation of poverty in the United States and across the globe.

This is the link to my class page on Wikipedia : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:United_States_Education_Program/Courses/Poverty,_Gender,_and_Development_(Diana_Strassmann_and_Anne_Chao)

Lbockhorn (talk) 16:18, 2 April 2012 (UTC)lbockhorn


 * I've moved the USEP tag to the top of the talk page; someone needs to ask the online ambassadors or the professor to tag their articles. Sandy Georgia  (Talk) 17:10, 2 April 2012 (UTC)

I was instructed to do so but had my talk page removed and did not yet replace the tag. I apologize. Lbockhorn (talk) 02:06, 3 April 2012 (UTC)lbockhorn

Cleanup needs
In general, it would be helpful to make the article read more like an encyclopedic entry than a term paper. Some specifics for general cleanup are: Will identify more as I find time. Worried about the licensing on the graphs; just because they're hosted by a gov't entity doesn't make them free. Sandy Georgia (Talk) 17:38, 2 April 2012 (UTC)
 * There are spaces missing between sentences everywhere (between the end of one sentence and the beginning of the next).
 * There are culy quotes everywhere. Wikipedia uses straight quotes (curly quotes are usually from copying text either from sources or a word processor).  See MOS:QUOTE.
 * The article is over-quoted. That preferable to an article being plagiarized, but we should still be writing in our own words as much as possible.
 * See WP:FN on footnote placement (after punctuation, no space).
 * See WP:MSH on section headings.
 * See WP:MOSLINK and WP:OVERLINK-- the article is not wikified.
 * See WP:LEAD-- there isn't one. The lead reads like the introduction to a term paper rather than an encyclopedic entry.
 * See WP:ACCESS on location of images.
 * The article organization makes no sense to me; what is the reasoning behind the various section headings and how do they relate to one another and the topic.

I am more than happy to make these changes. However, have you made some of these changes yourself? It looks like you have on the edit history page. Thanks Lbockhorn (talk) 02:05, 3 April 2012 (UTC)lbockhorn

I wikified the article by linking 157 other Wikipedia pages by inserting internal links directly into the text.

I resized images and moved the ones that did not have explicit references in the text to the beginning of the section / right underneath the subheading.

The organization of the article is explicitly explained under definitions and measurements before the article begins.

Lbockhorn (talk) 02:31, 8 April 2012 (UTC)lbockhorn

Possible merge with social determinants of health
I and others brought up the idea of a merge with Lbockhorn when the article was still being developed in userspace, and I wanted to bring that discussion here now that the article has been created. There is a lot of interesting research in this article, but I do not see how it is, at the end of the day, covering a different 'encyclopedic' topic than the overall topic of social determinants of health. I agree that the main article is problematic, but by looking only at the poverty dimension in this article, rather than strengthening the main article and adding a poverty section there, a reader who reads both articles may come away confused and there is also a risk of repeated material. Perhaps the author could share again her original reasoning for not merging, and I'd like to hear from other editors any thoughts they have on possible merge. --Karl.brown (talk) 03:06, 3 April 2012 (UTC)

I have visited and read the page Social determinants of health many times, including the warnings, and because of those I would not like to simply extend on that page for many reasons.

I opt to create a new page rather than edit the existing page “Social Determinants in Health” for the following reasons:

1. That article has many tags for subpar content, including having multiple issues, being written like a personal reflection or essay rather than an encyclopedic description of the subject, disputed neutrality, a slanted tone, and the perspective provided deals primarily with Canada and does not represent a world view.

2. This article does not provide a specific approach to how poverty, low income, or low socioeconomic status greatly affects the health of people, and how even with those in poverty there is great disparity between health outcomes. Neglect of this fact provides readers with a limited scope of just how divisively health care disparities cut society, even within similar income classes within a country and across the world.

3. Finally, structural causes inherent in society are not clearly represented, and need to be to provide a clear picture to the public of how structural institutions and policy provide these health differentials between different groups of people, even within the lives of the impoverished.

The reliance on Canadian information is a major problem for that page, and I do not want mine associated with their page until those problems are resolved. Also, the subheadings and organization would disappear if merged with their article. Recognizing the social determinants of health that the impoverished face is a completely different topic than the social determinant of health "poverty" in general. This population has its own set of determinants that are separate from wealth determinants, and placing this entire article in the poverty section of that seriously flawed article will only prevent that point from being made.

Lbockhorn (talk) 03:45, 3 April 2012 (UTC)lbockhorn

322: Peer Review
This article is very informative with lots of relevant information on the topic. Great job. I just have a few comments on the article (of course you can decide not to take them)

For the lede (intro) of the article, it is discouraged to use a lot of citations, and it should be a concise overview of the topic. WP: LEDE

You use a number of quotations. Try to paraphrase what has been noted, found, etc in studies and just talk about what is important. This will help making your leded as concise as possible (or you can always add a section telling us why this topic is important.

maybe chop up the larger paragraphs into smaller ones- it'll give the reader a little break to digest and segment what they had read.

There are a lot of important information in this article with a lot of subsections. Try to link this article with related articles.

I feel that the organization with 'Socioeconomic' and 'Social position' could flow better. It seems that they are intertwined in a way that is hard to separate them.

'Governance/Policy' seems like it could be their own section.

'Societal psychological influences' and 'societal causes' seem as if they can be combined so as to reduce redundancy (unless you have a clear distinction between societal causes of gender norms)

The charts and graphs can be reformatted in a way that doesn't distract from the contents of the article.

Don't be afraid to cite throughout the article, there are many great points and relevant information!

Again, great job on an interesting article. Allyssa.abacan (talk) 16:37, 5 April 2012 (UTC)

Peer Edit
Very interesting topic!! This article is very informative and detailed. I have a few suggestions that I hope help to strengthen your article. The first is that there are many quotes. You should try to paraphrase the content in these quotes so that the information flows more smoothly in the article. In addition, you use graphics that are rather large, I recommend reformatting them so that they fit the encyclopedia style better. Try reading the page WP:UPIMAGE. A few of your sections are rather lengthy so I recommend utilizing subheadings and bullets to better organize your information. Under the "Urban" section you have an a. b. c. list, I think it might be neater to utilize bullets for this list instead. Under the "Structural violence" section, I think it would be helpful to lead with the definition instead of introducing the definition in the second paragraph just so that the information is more concise. Don't be afraid to paraphrase and remember it is an encyclopedia entry which is meant to provide clear concise information so try to include only the most relevant information so that it is clearly understandable to readers. Overall, great work! Cnovoa17 (talk) 00:12, 10 April 2012 (UTC)

Peer Edit
You've made some very ambitious edits to the original article! I have a few suggestions which may improve the quality of the article:

1) Lead Section - Revise the lead section to summarize the content of your article. The lead should be inviting and concise. Avoid creating lengthy paragraphs - save the detail for the body of the article. The second paragraph of the lead section is very extensive and requires chopping to maintain Wikipedia's standards of conciseness. My suggestion is to use the lead section to specifically define and characterize the issue. Don't worry about not explaining it fully because you have the rest of the article to do that.

2) Block Paragraphs - Divide large blocks of texts into several paragraphs. It is easier on the eyes and easier to follow in terms of reading. Also, some information in the article is quite repetitive - I don't think it would be imprudent to cut and splice certain sections to maintain conciseness.

3) Citations - There are many quotations in the article. Opt for paraphrasing rather than direct quotations. Also, refer to this page for the proper protocol on how to cite: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Citing_sources

4) Language & Word Choice - Rather than being general in tone and content, offer more specific information and statistics. For example, you say, "Education plays an especially influential part in the lives of the impoverished." How does it do that? Rather than providing a general statement, provide substantive statistics and information

Good luck! You've done a lot of research and the content is quite substantive. I think the work that needs to be done now is stylistic and aesthetic. Saimatoppa (talk) 23:59, 10 April 2012 (UTC)

Inappropriate use of "rather than"
I've repunctuated this slightly, but it's broadly from the article:

They are the health promoting factors found in one's living and working conditions, such as the distribution of: rather than individual risk factors, such as: that influence the risk for a disease, or vulnerability to disease or injury.
 * income
 * wealth
 * influence
 * power
 * behavioral risk factors
 * genetics

This descends into complete nonsense when it pivots hard on "rather than".

The vast majority of the power disparity lies in the domain of self-inflicted risk factors, such as smoking, which tracks poverty about as well as any other measure.


 * Price of 200 cigarettes in Canada as of March 2018, by region

That's $0.70 per stick in Manitoba (only royalty among the poor can afford to smoke at all, at this price).

The problem with poverty is that "the poor" get so preoccupied with keeping their current end of the boat afloat, they are even thinking properly about the giant leak at the opposite end of the boat, a boat that's not exactly buoyant in totality.

At least this much of the problem is far, far, far away from "rather than".

As a side note, there are many, many sentences in Wikipedia with two or three or *gasp* four embedded lists where light doesn't shine into the darkness until I blow the sentence apart, as formatted above.

Nothing disables the brain faster than processing three different embedded lists in the same sentence.

This sentence has only two, and it's already on the downslope. &mdash; MaxEnt 21:13, 3 March 2021 (UTC)

Societal causes request
Hello, I have a request for editors to review a potential addition to this article. The organization I work for focuses on addressing social determinants of health; in a report earlier this year we referenced a study of the relative impacts of different determinants and I wondered if a finding from that study may be an appropriate and helpful addition.

Could the findings of this study about the relative contributions of different social determinants of health be added to the Societal causes subsection:


 * Quote: Overall, the relative contributions of socioeconomic factors, health behaviors, clinical care, and the physical environment to the health outcomes composite score were 47%, 34%, 16%, and 3%, respectively.
 * Would the following work to add to the section: "In a 2016 review of the county health rankings for all US counties published in the American Journal of Preventive Medicine, the authors found that socioeconomic factors were the highest weighted factor in determining health outcome, compared with health behaviors, clinical care and the physical environment.

I am the Director of Communications for Mother Cabrini Health Foundation and have a conflict of interest. Thanks!

Bvar on Wiki (talk) 14:28, 14 September 2022 (UTC)


 * Hi Bvar on Wiki, thanks for the suggested addition and providing the article. I have reviewed the report and made the suggested changes to improve the Societal causes section. I have also made the requested additions to the Social determinants of health page. Let me know if you have any other requests. Best, Dr. Van Nostrand (talk) 16:31, 30 September 2022 (UTC)
 * Thank you Dr. Van Nostrand. If OK, I will keep you in mind for help on any similar future requests. Regards, Bvar on Wiki Bvar on Wiki (talk) 18:49, 3 October 2022 (UTC)
 * Sounds good, Bvar on Wiki, happy to assist! Dr. Van Nostrand (talk) 16:01, 4 October 2022 (UTC)

Wikipedia Ambassador Program course assignment
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