Talk:Soho/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Eric Corbett (talk · contribs) 17:00, 6 January 2018 (UTC)

Detailed comments
Lead
 * "The area was first developed from farmland in 1536 ..." When was it second developed?
 * Fixed Ritchie333 (talk) (cont)  21:16, 6 January 2018 (UTC)


 * "The upper class had mostly moved away by the mid-19th century ..." No indication that they'd ever moved in.
 * I've name dropped a few late-17th century aristocrats in to emphasise this. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont)  21:15, 6 January 2018 (UTC)


 * I have an uneasy feeling that the lead is a little too short for an article of this length.
 * Was just thinking the same - have another look. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont)  21:15, 6 January 2018 (UTC)
 * Much better! Eric   Corbett  23:23, 6 January 2018 (UTC)

Gentrification
 * "It was originally called King Square in honour of Charles II, and a statue of him was based in the centre, including." Is there something missing from the end of that sentence, or is the "including" just an accident?
 * Ah that's probably my "back to front" copyediting - rather than working from an article top-to-bottom, I work on whichever bits are easiest first. Also, there are too many "including"s in the article so I've knocked out a couple. I blame trying to multi-task, which blokes are crap at. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont)  19:19, 8 January 2018 (UTC)

Decline
 * "A serious outbreak of cholera in 1854 around Soho caused the remaining upper-class families to leave the area." A serious outbreak of cholera sticks out like a sore thumb, given that the epidemic was dealt with in the immediately preceding chapter.
 * Yes, that shouldn't be there, we've already talked about the incident enough in the preceding section, so I've trimmed that down. <b style="color:#7F007F">Ritchie333</b> <sup style="color:#7F007F">(talk) <sup style="color:#7F007F">(cont)  19:45, 8 January 2018 (UTC)

Recent history
 * "The Soho Housing Association was established during this time ..." It's unclear when "this time" actually was.
 * The source (The London Encyclopedia) didn't say, but I found another one that says it was 1976. <b style="color:#7F007F">Ritchie333</b> <sup style="color:#7F007F">(talk) <sup style="color:#7F007F">(cont)  19:49, 8 January 2018 (UTC)

Theatre and film
 * "in 2005, Elton John staged a joint bachelor party there with his longtime partner David Furnish in anticipation of their civil partnership, in recognition of the improved status of same-sex couples." I'm unclear what "in anticipation ... in recognition" means. Which was it?
 * I've cut the second part of the sentence - the recognition of gay rights was more about the Civil Partnership Act 2004 rather than Soho itself. <b style="color:#7F007F">Ritchie333</b> <sup style="color:#7F007F">(talk) <sup style="color:#7F007F">(cont)  19:52, 8 January 2018 (UTC)


 * "Soho's key fibre communications network has managed by Sohonet since 1995 ..." Presumably there's a word missing here?
 * Yup. Fixed <b style="color:#7F007F">Ritchie333</b> <sup style="color:#7F007F">(talk) <sup style="color:#7F007F">(cont)  19:53, 8 January 2018 (UTC)


 * "... 23 per cent of the workforce in Soho works in the creative industries, making it one of the most creative parts of London." I don't think that follows at all.
 * I think we can lose the second part of that sentence, it's quite long as it is and simply stating the facts as stated should suffice. <b style="color:#7F007F">Ritchie333</b> <sup style="color:#7F007F">(talk) <sup style="color:#7F007F">(cont)  19:53, 8 January 2018 (UTC)

Restaurants and clubs
 * "... and was popular with the Albert, Prince of Wales (where he is alleged to have dined with his mistress, Lillie Langtry) and Oscar Wilde. Lots wrong with this.
 * I've split this into two sentences, and reworded it - however I've yet to see a source that says "Bertie" actually did dine publicly with Lillie Langrty, only that it was hearsay and rumour; to have the future monarch having a public affair at the height of Victorian Britain would have been utterly shocking. <b style="color:#7F007F">Ritchie333</b> <sup style="color:#7F007F">(talk) <sup style="color:#7F007F">(cont)  20:06, 8 January 2018 (UTC)


 * "It closed in January 2016 pending redevelopment." is it still closed? Sometimes these transient events aren't worth bothering with.
 * The source in question gave the impression that the close was the last one and it was never reopening; however, I've just discovered it's reopening today, so I've removed the last bit. <b style="color:#7F007F">Ritchie333</b> <sup style="color:#7F007F">(talk) <sup style="color:#7F007F">(cont)  20:12, 8 January 2018 (UTC)

Religion
 * "John Betjeman campaigned to restore the church, which was completed in 1990." That reads as if the church was completed in 1990, not the restoration.
 * A more substantial issue is that the source given does not say that (nor explains how Betjeman was involved with a restoration project six years after he died). I've got another source and reworded all this. <b style="color:#7F007F">Ritchie333</b> <sup style="color:#7F007F">(talk) <sup style="color:#7F007F">(cont)  20:30, 8 January 2018 (UTC)

Music
 * "generally regarded as the first venue where modern jazz, or bebop, was performed in the UK until it was closed in 1950 following a drugs raid." It didn't stop being the UK's first venue when it closed.
 * Split the sentences <b style="color:#7F007F">Ritchie333</b> <sup style="color:#7F007F">(talk) <sup style="color:#7F007F">(cont)  20:31, 8 January 2018 (UTC)


 * ""... a Sunday afternoon club organised by the beat poets Pete Brown ..." Pete Brown is only one poet
 * Fixed <b style="color:#7F007F">Ritchie333</b> <sup style="color:#7F007F">(talk) <sup style="color:#7F007F">(cont)  20:31, 8 January 2018 (UTC)

Streets
 * "... and named after Karnaby House, which was built in 1683 lay on the street's eastern side." Should that be "and lay"?
 * Split sentence and reworded. <b style="color:#7F007F">Ritchie333</b> <sup style="color:#7F007F">(talk) <sup style="color:#7F007F">(cont)  12:29, 9 January 2018 (UTC)


 * The information about the Windmill Theatre has already been covered in the Theatre and film section.
 * Removed as redundant - It was in the article as I found it and since both parts were either unsourced or not particularly well sourced, I wasn't sure which was going to be developed the most at the time. <b style="color:#7F007F">Ritchie333</b> <sup style="color:#7F007F">(talk) <sup style="color:#7F007F">(cont)  12:29, 9 January 2018 (UTC)

Any other issues? <b style="color:#7F007F">Ritchie333</b> <sup style="color:#7F007F">(talk) <sup style="color:#7F007F">(cont)  12:29, 9 January 2018 (UTC)
 * No more nitpicking from me, I think we're done here now. Eric   Corbett  13:24, 9 January 2018 (UTC)


 * Thanks for the review, insightful comments and good copyediting as always - also good to see you getting back into regular GA reviews. <b style="color:#7F007F">Ritchie333</b> <sup style="color:#7F007F">(talk) <sup style="color:#7F007F">(cont)  13:38, 9 January 2018 (UTC)