Talk:Sonic Advance/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: TarkusAB (talk · contribs) 14:45, 5 November 2017 (UTC)

Gameplay
 * "Split second" sounds informal. Replace with "a short moment" or something like that.
 * Changed to "brief moment"
 * "spin-dash", are you sure that phrase needs a hyphen? I thought it was one word: "spindash" but I'm not sure.
 * I usually make it two words because that's how it is in the instruction manual. I've changed it to just "spin dash".
 * By entering a cheat code, players can also control Sonic and Tails simultaneously, similar to Sonic the Hedgehog 2. - Do you mean the player controls sonic with tails just following like in S2? Or do you mean two players can play using a link cable? The way you wrote it, it sounds like one player controls both characters, which I don't think is the case. I've never played the game though. This needs clarification.
 * Tails follows him like Sonic 2, I've reworded it a bit.
 * down a tube on snowboards while - Multiple snowboards or just one?
 * Whoops, fixed.
 * trying to earn enough rings to complete the target amount - "trying to collect enough rings to meet the target amount"
 * Yeah, I still used some of the older text on this article (which was really poorly written). I've fixed that.
 * Competitive multiplayer on a GBA? I guess they use a link cable? Might want to mention that.
 * It's wireless multiplayer for 2-4 owners of the game. I've reworded it a bit.

Development
 * I don't think you need the quote for Naka's phrase, especially since he speaks Japanese. Just say, which producer Yuji Naka felt was refreshing
 * Done.
 * and character designs - suggested replacement: and the modernized character designs by Yuji Uekawa
 * Done.
 * In 2005, it was compiled with ChuChu Rocket!,[20] Sonic Pinball Party,[21] and Sonic Battle. - When I read this I thought all 4 were bundled together and didn't know what system it was for. Suggested replacement: In 2005, it was compiled with ChuChu Rocket!,[20] Sonic Pinball Party,[21] and Sonic Battle[22] in separate bundle packs for the Game Boy Advance.
 * Done.

Reception
 * while IGN described it as "great". This phrase really doesn't add any value. I would remove it but keep the source to support the praise earlier in the sentence.
 * Done.
 * , calling it a "satisfying experience". Also adds no value
 * Removed.
 * and GameSpot called it "cool feature". Replace the quote with more description on what they thought was cool, otherwise remove this whole phrase. Again, adds no value
 * Reworded to add a bit more value.
 * lack of connectivity Lack of...GameCube connectivity? sounds like you're talking about online play or something
 * Reworded.

Lead
 * In the infobox it says the Android release was worldwide, but in the body it says it was exclusive to Japan.
 * Whoops. Fixed.
 * Infobox only lists Dimps as developer. Is that correct or was Sonic Team a co-developer? I don't know. Their logo is on the box art.
 * Dimps did the actual programming, while Sonic Team mostly just oversaw the development. I'll still add them to the infobox, though, since they were credited in the credits and everything.
 * The game has been ported to a number of platforms since its release, including Nokia's N-Gage and the Wii U via the Virtual Console. It was only ported to 2 platforms, the N-Gage and Android. Wii U release is emulation. I wouldn't say that's "a number of platforms", the sentence needs a rewrite.
 * Rewrote. Now reads as The game has since been ported to Nokia's N-Gage and Android devices, and is available on the Wii U via the Virtual Console.

Other
 * No disambig links
 * Archived sources
 * No dead links
 * No copy vio issues

Your writing is getting better with each GA. Nice job. TarkusAB talk 02:38, 10 November 2017 (UTC)
 * Think I've resolved everything. Responded above. JOE  BRO  64  11:22, 10 November 2017 (UTC)
 * OK nice job. This passes. TarkusAB talk 14:23, 10 November 2017 (UTC)