Talk:Sound and Vision/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Tkbrett (talk · contribs) 01:32, 19 May 2021 (UTC)

Staking my claim on reviewing this article.  Tkbrett  (✉) 01:32, 19 May 2021 (UTC)

Lead

 * "It was later chosen by RCA Records as the first single from the album" can be made active as "RCA Records later chose it as the first single from the album"
 * "the song began as an idea": as opposed to? Make this a little more specific.
 * "being aided by" -> "aided by"
 * link BBC
 * "Critically, "Sound and Vision" has been regarded by music critics and biographers as one of Bowie's greatest songs." -> "Music critics and biographers have regarded "Sound and Vision" as one of Bowie's greatest songs."

Writing and recording

 * "Sound and Vision" was co-produced by David Bowie and Tony Visconti" -> "David Bowie and Tony Visconti co-produced "Sound and Vision""
 * pipe Descending fifths sequence
 * link G major
 * pipe Melody
 * "and was described by biographer David Buckley" -> "later described by biographer David Buckley"

Composition

 * pipe crooner
 * link Sizzle cymbal
 * pipe Bar (music)

Release

 * avoid duplicating the word "presented" in the same sentence. Perhaps simply: "When Bowie presented his 11th studio album Low to RCA Records, it shocked the label."
 * "The label were intimidated by Bowie, who persuaded the label to release" -> "Bowie intimidated the label, persuading them to release"

Images

 * Good.

Referencing

 * copyvio gives a 96.2% score due to a Wiki copycat. The next is 25.4%, indicating there are no concerns for this page.
 * Checking against sources where able, the page is properly sourced.

Final comments and verdict

 * I think this was the first Bowie song I heard when I was a teenager, so I'm happy to see it get such a nicely written page. Once the few above concerns are addressed I'll be happy to give it a pass.  Tkbrett  (✉) 13:08, 20 May 2021 (UTC)
 * All done. Thanks for the kind words and th quick review! Please let me know if the "began as an idea" rewrite doesn't look good. – zmbro (talk) 18:02, 20 May 2021 (UTC)
 * pass:, yes, I think that reads a lot better. All thanks to you for making this such an easy review. :)  Tkbrett  (✉) 19:32, 20 May 2021 (UTC)
 * Thanks again! :-) – zmbro (talk) 21:28, 20 May 2021 (UTC)