Talk:South End–Groesbeckville Historic District/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Sammi Brie (talk · contribs) 04:40, 27 April 2021 (UTC)

Geography

 * Within this boundary are 520 buildings; all but 13 of which are — should be a comma, not a semicolon
 * They're independent clauses that can both stand alone as sentences, therefore making that change would be a comma splice. Daniel Case (talk) 21:05, 27 April 2021 (UTC)
 * Oh wait, I see your point. Daniel Case (talk) 21:08, 27 April 2021 (UTC)
 * ✅ Daniel Case (talk) 21:09, 27 April 2021 (UTC)

History

 * during the second of these, the French and Indian War, corresponding to the Seven Years' War in Europe — this part should be surrounded by emdashes, not commas, because it already has one comma inside
 * ✅ Daniel Case (talk) 21:08, 27 April 2021 (UTC)


 * it seems that the descendants — the "it seems" wording is a bit weird here
 * That's because, per the source, there aren't any statistics to support this. I reworded that and a sentence elsewhere in the paragraph to make that clearer. Daniel Case (talk) 15:13, 28 April 2021 (UTC)

Preservation and revitalization

 * one in three of the 67 percent African American residents — wondering if this should be a bit more straightforward, like one in three residents—in a an area that was 67 percent African American, to be less confusing
 * Daniel Case (talk) 01:28, 29 April 2021 (UTC)


 * Consider using a quote box for the McLaughlin quote; it's the sort of thing I'd put in a callout. I wonder if the quote in the next section may also be too long. 33.3 percent similarity is a bit higher than I'd like to see.
 * I usually don't put quotes like that in boxes, as long as they work inline, but I felt you had a point about maybe not quoting so much from the source. Daniel Case (talk) 01:28, 29 April 2021 (UTC)

Other notes

 * Article has been virtually untouched since nomination.
 * The page is wonderfully rich in freely licensed images of contributing properties. They are all appropriately captioned and placed, often near discussion of the building itself.
 * Yes, thank you ... since when I go up to Albany from where I live (which I was doing more frequently a decade ago when I wrote and researched this), the South End is the part of the city I come to first, so it was relatively easy to hop off I-787 and get pictures of the more important/significant buildings. I still have the idea of taking a nice panoramic of the South End from the interstate some day. Daniel Case (talk) 05:29, 29 April 2021 (UTC)

Status
On hold to address the copy changes and reduce the quote; ping me when these issues are addressed. The page looks great, just was time for some fresh eyes. You've put a lot of work in, especially on the image side, and it really shows. Sammi Brie (she/her • t • c) 05:04, 27 April 2021 (UTC)
 * Thank you. It's late so I will be working on this tomorrow. Daniel Case (talk) 05:52, 27 April 2021 (UTC)
 * Everything looks good, will pass. Sammi Brie  (she/her • t • c) 22:04, 29 April 2021 (UTC)