Talk:Spoo (food)/Alternate version

In the fictional universe of Babylon 5, spoo is a valuable and highly desired food product. Made from the alien worm-like creatures of the same name, spoo is considered to be the most delicious food in the galaxy, regardless of which species is asked. Although it is a universally loved foodstuff and an actively traded commodity, the creature itself is regarded with contempt by the races that consume it.

Since its introduction on the Babylon 5 television series, spoo has remained popular among fans of the science fiction saga, spawning attempts to cook their own version of spoo. In recent years, spoo has taken on various meanings outside the Babylon 5 universe and fan community, and can now be found in areas such as computer programming.

Origins in Babylon 5
Spoo initially appeared in the first episode of the science fiction television series Babylon 5, when it was briefly mentioned by the Narn Ambassador, G'Kar. J. Michael Straczynski was the show's creator, executive producer, and writer of the episode in question.

Creature
In Babylon 5, spoo, the creature, is regarded with contempt by most of the sentient species that have encountered it; this is partly because of its extreme ugliness as a species - tiny, pasty, mealworm-like creatures - and partly because of the difficulty encountered in cultivating the food, in particular, a "sighing problem".

The creatures are raised on ranches on planets with moist and chilly climates, not because the creatures thrive in such environs, but because it produces the best level of paleness in the creatures' skin. Starting a spoo ranch is relatively easy: the only requirement is to place 200 spoo in the middle of the ranch and wait. Within a short period of time, they have reproduced in sufficient numbers and harvesting can commence, with the preferred method being a simple whack with a stick. Little physical effort is required to cull the herds - spoo are incapable of moving more than six inches (15 cm) in a year, tend to stay propped up against one another "ostensibly for mutual protection," with attempts at movement usually ending up in the creatures toppling over. The primary difficulty in spoo ranching is in the only sound the creatures make: loud, continuous sighing. The only protection against the sighing is the use of earmuffs, which eventually cannot block the sheer volume of sighs as the harvest progresses--when whacked, a spoo simply sighs more loudly. The sighing often triggers bouts of major depression, with some ranchers even going mad from the incessant sighs.

Taste and uses
As a food product, spoo is very versatile. It can be made into everything from soups to sandwiches, served cooked or cold. Most often it is prepared in cubes so that it resembles as little as possible the animal from which the food came. The taste of spoo is apparently hard to put into words ("spoo-ish" is an acceptable adjective), although different races have their own views on this, and have their own preferences on how it is prepared. As an example, the Narn like their spoo fresh, while the Centauri prefer it aged. Centauri consider being offered fresh spoo an insult, and the presence of it on their home world was a pivotal element in one episode of Babylon 5. As another example, the Pak'ma'ra like the flavor, but will not openly admit to this, partly because of their religious beliefs, which dictate that they only eat carrion.

As a commodity
As a widely consumed food product, like coffee or beef, spoo is a traded commodity, where the price of the product at the consumer level is dictated by the price on common exchanges. During one episode the price of a spoo sandwich is stated as ten credits an ounce; at the end of the same episode it is stated as fifteen credits. While this could be a simple mistake by Straczynski, a bit of fanon assumes that it is an intentional reference to spoo's exorbitantly ridiculous volatility in the market.

Unlike other products, not only is spoo a tradable commodity, but spoo ranches themselves, like large corporations, sell shares. It is not known if this is facilitated by spoo's immense popularity or because the ranches' value is exacerbated by their rarity (due to the difficulty of, and disproportionately high suicide rate in, spoo ranching).

Real-world spoo
In 1998, Warner Bros. and Boxtree UK published a Babylon 5 cookbook. Presented as if it was written around the year 2260, the time when most of the Babylon 5 series takes place, the book contains many recipes for the various foods mentioned and seen throughout the series. Included were recipes for Narn-style spoo and Centauri-style spoo, both using currently available ingredients, with sea scallops taking the place of spoo.

Real-world etymology of the word
Babylon 5 was not the first place Straczynski used the word spoo. Straczynski was a writer in the 1985 cartoon series She-Ra Princess of Power. Skeletor declines spoo, saying he dislikes this food, and then adds he does not know what it is.

The earliest known print usage was as an exclamation in a 1971 Beetle Bailey comic strip, as a play on the reverse spelling of "oops." According to Slang and Euphemism, spoo is a slang term for ejaculate, etymologically derived from spew, and cited by linguist Pamela Munro in a paper on 1980s collegiate slang at UCLA. The title cartoon in Roz Chast's book Parallel Universes (1984) depicts a universe in which "Trr is baking sppooo." Prior to the book's publication, the cartoon appeared in the New Yorker magazine. Frank Zappa used the word as a euphemism for semen in the song "What Kind of Girl?", which appears on the 1988 live album Broadway the Hard Way. He claimed in The Real Frank Zappa Book to have learned the word from guitarist Ike Willis, and also used spoo to mean self-indulgent "musical masturbation," in which musicians play an extended solo primarily for their own enjoyment rather than to enhance the musical experience of the audience. Stock and bond day traders have begun to use spoo in reference to S&P 500 futures.

Current usage
Spoo is spoofed in the first Babylon Park parody short, Spoohunter. Some computer programmers have used the Babylon 5 reference as titles of their programs. Of note is the Syndicomm Python Offline Orchestrator, a Python-based program for reading bulletin boards, the title of which is back formed to fit the reference.

Additional references
The Babylon 5 episodes in which spoo appears or is mentioned:
 * "Midnight on the Firing Line"
 * "The Geometry of Shadows"
 * "Point of No Return"
 * "A View from the Gallery"
 * "A Tragedy of Telepaths"
 * "Meditations on the Abyss"