Talk:Spring Day (song)/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 07:36, 31 August 2020 (UTC)

Will start this review soon, have a talk page message for you in relation to it first though... --K. Peake 07:36, 31 August 2020 (UTC)

Infobox and lead

 * Target Universal Japan to Universal Studios Japan in the infobox
 * Shouldn't the Korean Augean version of the title be in bold?
 * "It was released on" → "The song was released for digital download and streaming" with the appropriate targets
 * "A remix of the track" → "A remix of the song"
 * "released for free on" → "released for free via"
 * "was recorded and issued" → "was issued"
 * "that included tracks" → "that included the tracks"
 * "Musically, "Spring Day" is an" → "The song is an"
 * "power ballad which relies on rock instrumentals." → "power ballad, which relies on rock instrumentation."
 * "The track's lyrics revolve" → The lyrics revolve"
 * "grief and moving on." → "grief, and moving on."
 * "and the band's vocal delivery." → "and BTS' vocal delivery."
 * "It received several accolades including," → ""Spring Day" received several accolades, including"
 * "on the K-pop decade-end list of" → "on the decade-end list of the best K-pop songs by"
 * "Commercially, "Spring Day" was a" → "Commercially, the song was a"
 * "where it debuted at number one" → "debuting at number one"
 * "the Gaon Digital Chart and has" → "the Gaon Digital Chart, and it has"
 * "chart" is not needed at the end of the Billboard sentence since the chart has clearly been named
 * "The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas" should be surrounded by speech marks and not italicised
 * Are you sure something shouldn't be written about what the video features?
 * A lot of metaphors are featured in the visual, so it's difficult to pinpoint one thing, but I'll look into it.


 * "symbolism and won" → "symbolism and was awarded"
 * "BTS promoted the song" → "BTS promoted "Spring Day"
 * "It was also included" → "The song was also included"
 * Are you sure set list should be wikilinked?
 * Any reason it shouldn't be targeted? I've seen a few GAs with the wikilink so I kept it that way.
 * I was thinking it was too obvious, but was kind of unsure so if I numerous GAs have the wikilink then you can keep it, I guess. --K. Peake 20:45, 1 September 2020 (UTC)

✅ Everything else.
 * "of their second worldwide" → "of the band's second worldwide"

Background and release

 * "at number one on the" → "at number one on South Korea's"
 * "of 2016 in South Korea." → "of 2016 in the country."
 * "in January 2017, that a sequel" → "in January 2017 that a sequel"
 * "to be a part of the reissue, when the band" → "to be slated for release on the reissue when the band subsequently" to specify it was around that time
 * "On February 10 of that year, it was" → "On February 10, 2017, the song was"
 * "the first single from the album." → "the lead single from You Never Walk Alone." with the wikilink
 * [5] should not be invoked at this point since [4] backs up everything in the sentence
 * "main melody of the song. He wrote it between" → "main melody of the song, which he wrote between"
 * "and December 2016, during a walk" → "and December 2016 during a walk"
 * Should it be mentioned that the leaves were blown off trees or maybe change to "blown away"?
 * changed it to the former.


 * "are credited as songwriters. Production was solely handled by Pdogg." → "are credited as songwriters on "Spring Day", with the latter of the seven solely handling production"
 * Remove wikilink on South Korea as it's too obvious
 * "It was" → "The track was"
 * "Jeong Wooyeong, and Peter Ibsen," → "Jeong Wooyeong, and Ibsen,"
 * Remove wikilink on lead single
 * Are you sure [9] is needed here since it does not directly state the song was the lead single?
 * "lead single" is already backed up by that teaser article so mentioning it here is merely a repetition, does it still need to be covered here? Also, keeping [9] since it serves a secondary ref. for the release date, etc.
 * Yes it is fine since you are stating afterwards about the digital download and streaming release, so the repetition is not 100% identical --K. Peake 08:16, 2 September 2020 (UTC)
 * So should I keep it or remove it entirely? -- Ashley yoursmile!  08:33, 2 September 2020 (UTC)
 * It is alright to be kept here. --K. Peake 09:08, 2 September 2020 (UTC)


 * "was released for free on" → "was released for free to"
 * "It has identical song-writing credits to the original recording with" → "The remix has identical songwriting credits to the original version, though"
 * "as the producer." → "serves as the producer."
 * "was recorded and issued" → "was recorded, which was issued"
 * Target Universal Music Japan to Universal Studios Japan
 * "of the band's seventh" → "of BTS' seventh"
 * "together with the Japanese versions of" → "together with the versions of"
 * Target singles to Single (music)
 * "(2017)." → "(2017) in the same language." since this is a lot better prose and we know "same language" refers to Japanese here
 * "It was also released" → "The single album was simultaneously released"
 * "in Japan on the same day." → "in Japan."
 * "The lyrics for the Japanese version" → "The lyrics for the Japanese version of "Spring Day""
 * Are you sure KM-Markit shouldn't be in all caps?
 * [15] does not back up that he wrote the song
 * Changed to liner notes since an editor confirmed that the CD credits him.

✅ Everything else here
 * "third Japanese-language studio album," → "third Japanese-language studio album"

Music and lyrics

 * "driven by rock instrumentals." → "driven by rock instrumentation." on the audio sample text
 * [20] needs to be added to the sample text for verifying the ballad statement
 * ref. [20] states that the song is a power ballad: "With "Spring Day", BTS challenged that perception by analyzing grief and yearning in the form of a sweeping power ballad".
 * None of the refs currently used on the sample text back up the "ballad" part; that's my issue --K. Peake 08:16, 2 September 2020 (UTC)
 * Kyle Peake, Sorry, I was in a hurry when I wrote my last reply, what I was implying is that the Rolling Stone ref. i.e. the one marked [18] covers that. -- Ashley yoursmile!  08:31, 2 September 2020 (UTC)
 * Oh, my bad; yeah this is fine --K. Peake 09:08, 2 September 2020 (UTC)


 * ""Spring Day" is a" → "Musically, "Spring Day" is a"
 * Target midtempo to Tempo
 * "is composed in time and the" → "is composed in the time signature of  time and the"
 * Remove wikilink on tempo
 * "Constructed in verse-chorus form," → "Constructed in verse–chorus form,"
 * "instrumentals consisting primarily" → "instrumentation that consists primarily"
 * "The production makes use" → "The production of the song makes use"
 * Target percussion to Percussion instrument
 * "electronic sounds which provide" → "electronic sounds, which provide"
 * "The song consist of "rap-breaks"," → "The song consists of "rap-breaks,""
 * "deliveries in which" → "deliveries, for which"
 * "vocal range span" → "vocal range spans"
 * Wikilink should be on strums to itself instead, as done here
 * Target The Singles Jukebox to Stylus Magazine
 * "meaning of the song in a" → "meaning behind "Spring Day" during a"
 * Wikilink V Live to itself instead
 * "stated that he wrote the lyrics" → "stated that he wrote the lyrics when"
 * "high-school mates from whom" → "high-school mates, from whom"
 * "He compared the mood of the song" → "RM compared the song's mood"
 * "previous songs," → "previous tracks" since elsewise, it sounds like they were the only two tracks before this one
 * Add release years of the tracks in brackets
 * both songs were released in 2015, so changed it to "the band's 2015 singles".
 * That is a nice switch, kudos! --K. Peake 08:16, 2 September 2020 (UTC)

✅ Everything else
 * "the song uses seasonal metaphor" → "the song use a seasonal metaphor"
 * Wikilink imagery
 * "grief and moving on:" → "grief, and moving on:"
 * "suggests the" → "is a line used to suggest the"
 * "others" and touches upon themes" → "others," and they touch upon themes"
 * Remove target on chorus
 * "Towards the song's conclusion," → "Towards the end of the song,"
 * "of a reunion;" → "of a reunion:"

Critical reception

 * "received generally positive reviews" → "was met with generally positive reviews"
 * "and the band's vocal delivery," → "and BTS' vocal delivery,"
 * "for the same publication," → "for the same magazine," since that is what Billboard identifies as
 * "any BTS release", it's" → "any BTS release," it is" to be more clear
 * "cited it as one of the best songs of BTS" → "cited the track as one of the best songs by BTS"
 * Wikilink Dazed like this instead
 * "vocal delivery regarding the track" → "vocal delivery, regarding the track"
 * "where she called" → "in which she called"
 * "Hyo-beom Jeong Hyo-beom acclaimed the track highlighting" → "Jeong Hyo-beom acclaimed the track, highlighting"
 * wrote it as Hyo-beom Jeong since "Jeong" is the surname.
 * That is correct, my bad on the wrong way round. --K. Peake 10:14, 2 September 2020 (UTC)


 * "and regarded it as a" → "and he regarded the track as a"
 * "He added," → "Hyo-beom added,"
 * wrote it as "Jeong added" per above.


 * Target hip-hop to Hip hop music
 * "this hit" which he" → "this hit," which he"
 * Wikilink K-pop
 * "that "sees the" → "and opined that it "see the"
 * ""Reviewing for" → "Reviewing for"
 * "in BTS’s aesthetics"" → "in [BTS'] aesthetics"" since the poor grammar is not our fault
 * "the group’s previous" → "the group's previous"
 * Target pop to Pop music
 * "best song and labelled it as an" → "best song, labelling the track an"
 * "it is " a classic" → "it is "a classic"
 * "acclaimed the song stating" → "acclaimed the song, stating"
 * "also of the same publication, described it" → "of the same publication, described the song"
 * ""the ballad’s complex" → ""the ballad's complex"
 * Remove wikilink on K-pop
 * "songs of 2017." → "songs of 2017 on their respective lists." since otherwise, it sounds like they compiled only one list all together
 * "The former ranked it" → "The former of the three ranked it"
 * "of 2010s." → "of the 2010s."
 * Saying publication here is fine I guess, since it may read tiring to always instate magazine when not directly saying Billboard
 * "wrote that "'Spring Day'’s existence is" → "wrote that the existence of the song "is"
 * "representation of BTS’s artistry." → "representation of [BTS'] artistry.""
 * "on their list" → "on their 2020 list"
 * "won the Song of the Year at" → "won the Song of the Year award at"
 * Also, the above sentence and what follows it should be the sole para in prose for an awards sub-section in this section, which I will instruct below
 * The Best Music Video award belongs in the video's reception instead
 * Target to Music programs of South Korea should solely be on "weekly music programs" but keep the prose identical here
 * "due to its substantial success" → "due to the substantial success of the song"
 * For the awards subsection, it should have the two tables below the prose that I said to start it with and keep the tables separate; title the sub-section to Awards
 * The columns below the headers of the tables should not be centered
 * Are you sure the ones past the 9th Melon Music Awards don't have the numbered order of the first two?
 * Kyle Peake, added the numbers to the other two. Please check if it's alright.-- Ashley yoursmile!  09:55, 2 September 2020 (UTC)
 * Yes it is, but I missed the Fuse Video of the Year award; that should have been moved to the other section too. --K. Peake 10:14, 2 September 2020 (UTC)
 * missed it earlier, added it now. -- Ashley yoursmile!  10:24, 2 September 2020 (UTC)

✅ all, I think
 * Again, best music video should not be here so remove it from the first table

Commercial performance

 * The chart crashing was the album not the song, also is [52] really needed here?
 * yes, reworded accordingly.


 * "number one on the" → "atop the country's"
 * "number-one hit." → "number one hit." though this "second" hit claim does not appear to be backed up by the source, unless it is in a sidebar or something that I've missed?
 * removed the second part.


 * "digital units in its" → "digital units in the"
 * "of the February 2017 issue" → "for the February 2017 issue"
 * "Gaon Monthly Digital Chart based on" → "Gaon Monthly Digital Chart, based on"
 * "For the year-end chart," → "For 2017's year-end chart,"
 * "it has sold over" → "the song has sold over"
 * "charting song on Melon to date" → "charting song on the Melon charts to date" for specifying
 * rephrased it as "Melon's digital chart, since we are talking of one chart only.

✅ all
 * "In the US, the song" → "In the United States, the song"
 * "though it lasted only one week." → "though lasted only one week on the chart."
 * "Chart for the week of" → "chart for the week of"
 * "first week. It gave BTS" → "first week and giving BTS"
 * "the chart following" → "the chart." since the information about the other two is too much detail
 * [59] should be in the place of [60] instead, since that says everything that is written out here
 * "peaked at number 24 on the UK Independent Singles Chart and number 38 on the Billboard Japan Hot 100." → "further peaked at number 24 and 38 on the UK Independent Singles Chart and Billboard Japan Hot 100, respectively."

Background
✅ all
 * "premiered on Big Hit's" → "premiered via Big Hit's"
 * "by a teaser released on the" → "by a teaser, which was released to the"
 * "director of photography and Emma SungEun kim as" → "director of photography, while Emma SungEun kim received credit as"
 * "and JinSil Park as the" → "and JinSil Park was the"
 * "The filming took place" → "Filming for the music video took place"
 * "Yangju and Gangneung." → "Yangju, and Gangneung."
 * "fiction, The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas, and Bong Joon-ho's movie," → "fiction "The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas", as well as the movie"
 * "is heavy with symbolism" → "is heavily loaded with symbolism"
 * The source does not state the video lasts five minutes; cite something that shows this as well since it backs up the other info

Synopsis

 * "of "Spring Day"." → "for "Spring Day"." on the img main text
 * "The video opens with" → "The music video opens with"
 * "railway station with rusty signboards" → "railway station, which has rusty signboards"
 * "In it, he steps" → "In the station, he steps"
 * "who are not present." → "who are not present themselves."
 * "inside the train waiting" → "inside the train as he waits"
 * [65][60] should be put in numerical order
 * "with an close-up shot of RM, standing" → "with a close-up shot of RM, who stands"
 * "compartment, as the opening line of the song" → "compartment as the opening line of "Spring Day""
 * "who are sitting in" → "while they are sat in"
 * "which leads him" → "that leads him"
 * "inside the train which leads" → "when inside the train, which leads"
 * Target Jin to Kim Seok-jin
 * "staircase where the other members" → "staircase, on which the other members"
 * "park ride which has" → "park ride that has"
 * "each member and contrasting" → "each member, and contrasting"
 * "of the band as they" → "of BTS as they"
 * Maybe I'm not looking properly but the ref does not seem to say anything about the door being opened to the Omelas?
 * "정국이 오멜라스의 문을 다시 열었습니다." roughly translates to "Jungkook opened the door to Omelas again." -- Ashley yoursmile!  17:33, 2 September 2020 (UTC)
 * Oh that is ok, thanks for the clarification. --K. Peake 17:52, 2 September 2020 (UTC)

✅ all
 * "The septet walk together" → "The band walk together"
 * "bare tree which stands" → "bare tree that stands"
 * "on its branches that" → "on the tree's branches, which"
 * "The visual ends with a closing shot" → "To end the visual, a closing shot is shown"
 * "hanging from its branches." → "hanging from the branches."

Reception
✅ all
 * "that the visual references to" → "that the visual references"
 * "wrote that the video" → "wrote that the music video"
 * "the album’s title" → "the album's title"
 * "she felt that" → "Glasby felt that"
 * "changes one’s life" → "changes one's life"
 * "The video won" → "The music video was awarded"
 * "to do so at that time." → "to do so at the time."
 * "for their follow up single" → "for BTS' follow up single"
 * "with 10 million views." → "with 10 million views in a shorter period of time."
 * "It also became the" → "The video for "Spring Day" also became the" to be specific
 * "has over 300 million views." → "has over 300 million views on the platform."

Live performances

 * Img looks good, but you should write out in prose about the California live performance if possible with citation(s)
 * that is sadly not available
 * Maybe change to "BTS performed "Spring Day" during The Wings Tour in 2017." so it is more relevant? --K. Peake 17:52, 2 September 2020 (UTC)
 * rewrote accordingly.


 * "for the two-day stop of" → "for the band's two-day stop during"
 * "To promote "Spring Day" and the album," → "To promote the song and You Never Walk Alone,"
 * "of the song on" → "of the song for"
 * "the group appeared on" → "they appeared on"
 * "and Inkigayo where they also performed "Not Today"." → "and Inkigayo, performing "Not Today" on the music programs."
 * this makes it sound as if they performed only "Not Today" on these shows.
 * Better suggestion maybe; "which they performed "Not Today" on." Do you think that sounds fine? --K. Peake 17:52, 2 September 2020 (UTC)
 * still sounds a bit confusing to me.
 * Maybe just add a comma after Inkigayo but keep the prose the same as before? --K. Peake 07:27, 3 September 2020 (UTC)

✅ everything else
 * Remove target on 2017 Melon Music Awards
 * Add release year of "DNA" in brackets
 * "On December 29, 2017," → "On December 29 of that year,"
 * "They performed the song again at" → "They performed the song at"
 * Remove wikilink on 32nd Golden Disc Awards
 * "as part of the three-song set on" → "as part of their three-song set for"
 * "wearing soft pastel-coloured" → "with the band wearing soft pastel-coloured"

Track listing

 * Retitle to Track listings as there's more then one


 * Target Brit rock to British rock music on the mention under title
 * Kyle Peake, is this target necessary? I mean even though it's understandable that the probably it mixes the Brit rock elements here, but we don't know that specifically? -- Ashley yoursmile!  17:53, 2 September 2020 (UTC)
 * No you are right, do not add the target. --K. Peake 18:14, 2 September 2020 (UTC)


 * Was the Brit Rock Remix really released as download and streaming?
 * It was released on SoundCloud which allows its users to both stream and download as far as I know?
 * Maybe it should be free streaming or something like that? --K. Peake 18:14, 2 September 2020 (UTC)
 * changed to "free streaming".

Korean / Japanese version
✅ all
 * Target on You Never Walk Alone is pointless here
 * chorus, songwriting → songwriting, chorus (under Arlissa Ruppert since this order is correct)
 * Pdogg should come directly below Peter Ibsen and swap the order of songwriting and production for Pdogg
 * Are you sure KM-Markit shouldn't be capitalised like the name usually is?

Brit Rock Remix
✅
 * chorus, songwriting → songwriting (the chorus credit is not mentioned at all by the ref)

Weekly charts

 * UK Independent Singles(OCC) → UK Independent Singles Chart (OCC)
 * Target UK Singles Download Chart to UK Singles Downloads Chart
 * Target OCC to Official Charts Company for the above chart's brackets
 * I'm confused, is that World chart World Digital Songs or World Digital Song Sales? You keep the target even if it is retitled, though.
 * it's the latter.

✅

Monthly charts

 * Good

Year-end charts

 * Good

Sales
✅
 * Remove this as there are no certifications and it is already written out in prose elsewhere

Release history

 * Remix → Brit Rock Remix
 * Again, are you sure the format of the SoundCloud release is digital download and streaming?
 * changed to just "free streaming".

✅ all

Final comments and verdict

 * and I am impressed by your quick response time to the sections, well done definitely! --K. Peake 17:48, 2 September 2020 (UTC)
 * Kyle Peake, pinging you, I think that I've addressed all concerns above but might have missed something out. Thank you for being patient and taking time reviewing this. You're very methodical with every review which I really appreciate. But it would've been probably best if I'd have submitted this article at the GOCE for a copy-edit before nominating. -- Ashley  yoursmile!  09:50, 3 September 2020 (UTC)
 * ✅ time after fantastic work from you, massive well done on the amazing response time for all of the sections!!! I am glad you appreciate my reviewing, I believe it is my duty to give the best and most relevant comments possible consistently. --K. Peake 11:33, 3 September 2020 (UTC)