Talk:St. John the Baptist Diocesan High School

Assess
This is a start on your school article. Further advice is available at the school project page. 1. Add some topics (like history, notable alumni, etc) 2. Keep adding references 3. Add pictures 4. Ask for an assessment at the schools project.EagleFan 13:41, 1 August 2007 (UTC)

Copyright violations
A large majority of this article is copied directly (down to the list formatting) from the school website. There is no copyright statement there but copyright protection is assumed without an explicit release. – Zedla (talk) 13:37, 28 March 2008 (UTC)


 * it's been fixed. --U2=&lt;3 (talk) 16:44, 28 March 2008 (UTC)

Some suggestions
Hi. I'm glad to see you are working on this school article. It looks like it is off to a good start. However there are still a few places that should be adjusted so that they look more like normal Wikipedia writing style.

"In today’s world, particularly during the adolescent years, it is important for young people to know they are loved and cared for. It is in that Love that they come to see faith as a vitally important and essential part of their lives. St. John the Baptist acknowledges and promotes this philosophy."

This sentence reads like a press release, and probably came from the school web page. It is good information, but it should be rewritten into a more neutral tone. (And into a sentence that an actual human might really say.) You might try something like:

"The St. John the Baptist school faculty knows that it is important that young people know that they are loved and cared for. It is from Love that they come to see faith as a vitally important and essential part of their lives."

The bulleted list could also be rewritten as a paragraph and it would look better. Perhaps something like:

"St. John the Baptist Diocesan High School was established in 1966.[1] St. John the Baptist is one of three diocesan high schools to be built on Long Island. It is named for two bishops of the Diocesis. Over the past six years, over 99% of SJB graduates have gone on to college at such prestigious schools as Harvard University, Princeton, Yale University, Carengie Melon, Notre Dame, Johns Hopkins University, and all major military academies."

I hope you enjoy editing on Wikipedia! Loren.wilton (talk) 04:38, 29 March 2008 (UTC)

Assessment
I am assessing this article as Start / Low for WikiProject Schools after a request. An article of a good length and breadth, but does need some work. The first word which came into my head after reading the introduction was advertising, not encyclopaedic - which is of concern. The article introduction/lead section is supposed to review and summarise the article, not try and promote it. For example - ''In today’s world, particularly during the adolescent years, it is important for young people to know they are loved and cared for. It is in that Love that they come to see faith as a vitally important and essential part of their lives. St. John the Baptist acknowledges and promotes this philosophy.'' A nice thing to say, but I would expect to read that in a school leaflet, not an encyclopaedic article. Articles should follow core policy such as WP:NPOV and WP:NOT. The next issue is on references, they are difficult to find in the article. There are currently three, more should be added to verify the article fully and they should come from a varitey of locations. The overall content of the article is another issue, WP:WPSCH and WP:SCH can provide help on what needs to be included. There are a lot of lists, these should be converted to prose if possible. General trivia of only student interest should also be removed. The table in the top right hand corner should be converted to a proper infobox, see WP:WPSCH to find those avaliable. Finally, it is good to see pictures - but these should be transferred to Wikimedia Commons if possible. Camaron | Chris (talk) 18:06, 6 June 2008 (UTC)