Talk:Star Trek: Secret of Vulcan Fury/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Aoba47 (talk · contribs) 18:17, 12 March 2016 (UTC)

I hope it is okay that I am grabbing this for a review (I have reviewed a couple of your previous nominations already), but I am always interested in reading about cancelled video games. Aoba47 (talk) 18:17, 12 March 2016 (UTC)
 * Of course! This one has had my attention for a while, but I've been concerned about nominating it for GA as I'm used to rather longer articles! But then someone else took Voyager (video game) to GA with a similar sized article, which finally made me take a proper look at this one. Miyagawa (talk) 20:53, 12 March 2016 (UTC)
 * Awesome! I just wanted to double-check with you first. I have only briefly looked through this article right now, but it looks very strong and I am very impressed with the work you put into it. I should have my comments up either by the end of today or by tomorrow if that is okay. Aoba47 (talk) 21:18, 12 March 2016 (UTC)

Lead

 * Change “by 2002” to “in 2002”
 * Change “within the United States” to “in the United States”
 * Link Interplay
 * I would separate the second to last sentence to the following to be concise. “Despite this promotion, the game was cancelled with estimates placing it at only 5% completion. The cast of The Original Series had already recorded their voices.”
 * I would change the last sentence to the following: “Lead engineer Thom Robertson later explained the studio had underestimated the cost of the game and the difficulties in filming the clay models." Like the above comment, this is just a suggestion, but I think it makes the meaning a little more clear.

Overview

 * Change “which revolve” to “which would have revolved”
 * Change “The character that the player control changed” to “The character that the player controlled would change”
 * I would separate the first sentence into two. Put a period at the end of “the game” and start a new sentence at “the creators”

Development

 * Change “19 June 1997” to “June 19, 1997” unless you have a specific reason for presenting the date this way.
 * Change the sentence about Brian Murray to correct the slightly awkward sentence construction: “Brian Murray, who was hired to storyboard the game, suggested spinning the camera around the Enterprise crew as they used the transporter to merge their original location into their destination.” It is a slight change, but I think it would be helpful.
 * Remove comma after “one of the series sets”
 * Replaced “cancelled by” to “cancelled in”
 * Move the reference of the first sentence in the fourth paragraph to the end of the sentence.

Final comments

 * I am very impressed with the quality of this article. You have done a lot of great research especially for a cancelled video game from the late 90s. I am being more nitpicky with my comments as overall, the article is already on the level of a GA. I am just making minor suggestions on how to better phrase some of the ideas and minor spelling/grammatical fixes. Let me know if you have any questions or comments about my review. Once you address my comments, this should be a quick pass. Aoba47 (talk) 02:08, 13 March 2016 (UTC)
 * Thanks, I've made those edits as suggested. The only one I didn't do was the Interplay link as I'd already linked to Interplay Entertainment two lines prior. Miyagawa (talk) 11:11, 13 March 2016 (UTC)
 * I apologize for the delay. This is a great article and I will definitely pass it. ✅
 * GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)


 * 1) It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
 * 1) It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):  d (copyvio and plagiarism):
 * 1) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a (major aspects): b (focused):
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail: