Talk:Star Trek Into Darkness/GA2

GA Review
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Reviewer: Seraphim System (talk · contribs) 15:44, 11 June 2017 (UTC)

1a: I see some general problems with the prose, the beginning of the plot summary is a bit clunky, ambiguous pronouns, After the battle, Harrison comes up to Kirk demanding to know the number of torpedoes on board the Enterprise and surrenders when Spock tells him. sentence fragments Inside is a man in cryogenic stasis. Awkward use of commas However, Vengeance suddenly loses power, sabotaged by Scotty, who infiltrated the ship. Not clear why a semi-colon is used here, the first clause is about the Enterprise how is that related to Vengeance Khan beams Kirk, Scott, and Carol back aboard Enterprise, but betrays their agreement by critically damaging Enterprise; however, Vengeance is disabled when the torpedoes detonate. Take this paragraph for example:

"On April 12, 2013, iTunes Movie Trailers revealed the final domestic one-sheet featuring USS Enterprise, and announced that the final US domestic trailer would be released on April 16. In the days leading up to the trailer release, character posters featuring Kirk, Spock, Uhura, and Harrison were released on iTunes.[90] Paramount attempted to broaden the film's appeal to international audiences, an area where Star Trek and other science-fiction films had generally performed poorly.[91] Into Darkness was dedicated to post-9/11 veterans.[92] J.J. Abrams is connected with The Mission Continues, and a section of the film's website is dedicated to that organization."

It is not a paragraph with a topic sentence and related sentences as much as it is a collection of random and unrelated sentences. I would recommend having someone thoroughly copy-edit this to improve the prose before re-nominating, as the problems are too numerous to list one by one. This article needs significant work, and for this reason, I can not pass the article at this time.

2b: I'm not sure Filmonic is a WP:RS as it seems to be a minor blog, and for a claim that a particular actor was approached for a role that he ultimately wasn't cast in, without a stronger source, I can't judge whether this is rumor or gossip based solely on the Filmonic source. I also would not recommend using Buzzfeed as WP:RS, at least not for a GA article since it has been so controversial at RS/n.


 * Wasn't given much time to work on these issues before it was failed. A bit unfair, to be honest. Rusted AutoParts 12:14, 13 June 2017 (UTC)