Talk:Star Wars/GA1

Suggestions
Red is needed for me to pass the GA, green is suggested, but not vitally required.
 * -> sentence runs for quite a bit. Try "on a farm as Luke. Annikin became Luke's father, a wise Jedi knight."
 * - chop the second line
 * -> "late November 1977".
 * -> same thing
 * -> past tense
 * -> "After losing much of his fortune as a divorce settlement in 1983"}} - unless the two aren't linked.
 * - remove a bit of the blame from Lucas, like saying (beef this up) "Lucas often exaggerated claims about his work. Kaminski theorised that this was both a publicity and security measure."
 * -> Space travel is common, with many planets in the galaxy members of a Galactic Republic, later the Galactic Empire.
 * -> "The attack is a ploy by the Sith Lord Darth Sidious under the guise of Palpatine, a senator from Naboo, planned to overthrow the Supreme Chancellor of the Galactic Senate in his quest for galactic domination". (you could cut that further, to be honest)
 * - remove "However".
 * - remove "Also".
 * - ""Weird Al" Yankovic recorded two parodies:" (Yoda); and (Saga Begins).
 * As a matter of interest, there's a source somewhere were Yankovic says how accurate he was (even pronouncing 'Coruscant' correctly) with the latter recording despite not seeing a preview). You might want to include that. This is also good reading; I have an article at FAC and I've had to read over this to help with the prose. Might do well to read it and transfer the skills, because it looks like it could be FA with some more work. Sceptre (talk) 03:48, 6 April 2008 (UTC)
 * All of the above are done. Gary King (talk) 04:15, 6 April 2008 (UTC)
 * Looks good. Passing, though still not sure about the Dick Cheney costume ref. Sceptre (talk) 04:23, 6 April 2008 (UTC)
 * - ""Weird Al" Yankovic recorded two parodies:" (Yoda); and (Saga Begins).
 * As a matter of interest, there's a source somewhere were Yankovic says how accurate he was (even pronouncing 'Coruscant' correctly) with the latter recording despite not seeing a preview). You might want to include that. This is also good reading; I have an article at FAC and I've had to read over this to help with the prose. Might do well to read it and transfer the skills, because it looks like it could be FA with some more work. Sceptre (talk) 03:48, 6 April 2008 (UTC)
 * All of the above are done. Gary King (talk) 04:15, 6 April 2008 (UTC)
 * Looks good. Passing, though still not sure about the Dick Cheney costume ref. Sceptre (talk) 04:23, 6 April 2008 (UTC)