Talk:Stargazy pie/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: J Milburn (talk) 01:48, 8 January 2011 (UTC)

Now, this looks like a wonderfully weird, quaint, gloriously British topic. The sort of thing for which Wikipedia can be great.


 * "baked pilchards along" Comma after "pilchards"? ✅
 * "The story of The Mousehole Cat is based upon the story of Tom Bawcock, featuring the "Star-gazy" pie and Mark Hix won BBC's Great British Menu with a variant of the dish." This line feels a little tacked-on; perhaps rephrase to something like "The story of Bawcock was popularised by Antonia Barber's children's book The Mousehole Cat, which featured the "Star-gazy" pie. In [year], a variant of the dish was given to [person] after..." [you get the idea] ✅
 * "based fish pie which is traditionally based" Repetition ✅
 * "amusing to children[1] — The" comma after "children", lose the dash and decap? ✅
 * "appetising and it has even been" Split the sentence ✅
 * "in "Yuck! Disgusting things people eat" by" What is this? An article? Book?, done, but please check
 * "New York Daily News" Link, italics if it's a newspaper/periodical ✅
 * "Snake Whiskey and deep fried tarantula" Links to either of these if appropriate? Don't be scared of redlinks if nothing appropriate exists ✅
 * "Tom Bawcock's Eve it is served in the Mousehole pub, The Ship Inn, sometimes after a re-enactment of the legend." Where are these? Also, "and" between the pub names? ❌ - the single pub "The Ship Inn" is in Mousehole. The line "the Mousehole pub" is saying that The Ship Inn is in Mousehole. Zangar (talk)
 * Ah. That wasn't that clear, could it perhaps be rephrased? J Milburn (talk) 22:22, 8 January 2011 (UTC) - now ✅  Worm   13:05, 10 January 2011 (UTC)
 * Perhaps a vague date, rather than "200 years ago"? ✅- Well, I've changed it to a date, and am more confident than "200 years ago" (google "Tom Bawcock 16th Century"), but I can't find any source I'm happy with as reliable. Possibly Webster's online dictionary?
 * "As Christmas approached the villagers" Comma after "approached" ✅
 * Who is "Morton Nance" in the quotebox? - wikilinked
 * "there was fish inside" That there were? ✅
 * "efforts of Tom Bawcock, sees the" Lose the comma ✅
 * "stargazy pie during the evening with a procession of handmade lanterns, before eating the stargazy pie" repetition of "stargazey pie" ✅
 * "the end of December included" comma after "December" ✅
 * "Morton Nance" Who is he? ✅, adequate description?
 * "Old Cornwall" Italics for magazine names ✅
 * "Tom Bawcock suggesting it was" Comma after "Bawcock" ✅
 * Can we have a cite for the last line of "origins"? Also, perhaps confirm in the quotebox that the song was written by him, not that it is quoting him? ✅it wasn't written by him, source confirms.
 * The fish names need better linking- sand eel is a very general name, but a link to that article is fine. Herring and Common ling are the other links you want. "Dogfish" in this context could refer to a number of species, but I think a link to Scyliorhinus is the best you could do. ✅
 * "with pilchards or herring as available" what does that mean? ✅
 * If most of that section is referenced to the same source, could we have a cite at the end of each para? ✅
 * "some which" of? ✅
 * "Not to mention the alternatives" Rephrase? ✅
 * "through which the fish heads and even tails protrude" that's already been discussed- perhaps lose the "even"? "sometimes tails" perhaps? ✅
 * "Influence of stargazy pie on culture" isn't the best section title. ✅
 * "The Mousehole Cat" should be italicised ✅
 * "black and white cat Mowzer" Why italics? ✅
 * "Great British Menu" Again, italics ✅
 * "a mutton drive" What's that? ✅
 * "unusual pies of Cornwall is that they were" comma after "Cornwall" ✅
 * "The Devil's Coits, etc" Italics if it's a book ✅ - it's a chapter in a book, does it need italics?
 * Chapters should be in quotemarks, but perhaps it would be better to name the book as a whole rather than the chapter. J Milburn (talk) 22:22, 8 January 2011 (UTC) - now ✅
 * "Robert Hunt" Dablink ✅
 * Could the nature of the book be explained? When was it published? What's it about? ✅ I think I've covered it now.
 * "Poldark" italics ✅
 * "Ladies in Lavender" Italics, comma after "Lavender" ✅
 * "stargazy Pie" Random caps? ✅
 * "Britain's Best Dish" Italics ✅
 * "The Lighthouse Keeper's Cat" italicssss (and I remember that book; I worked at a bookshop, and it was very popular with local primary school teachers. Shame we don't have an article...) ✅
 * ""Starry Gazey Pie"" Italics, not quotes ✅
 * "which band member, Daniel Tashian, remembered" either "a bandmember", or lose the commas ✅
 * Cites 4, 7, 12 and 20; author names are formatted differently from the others ✅
 * "BBC News" shouldn't be in italics ✅
 * Refs could do with more links- any notable authors, publishers or publications, links to the articles don't hurt.
 * I don't think the link to the bacon portal, the bacon cat or the bacon navbox belong here. There's practically no mention of bacon, and it's hardly a defining feature. Portal:Cornwall would be much better. ✅

Despite the fact I wouldn't choose the pie in a restaurant, I love this article. I think it'd make a great GA, and I don't think it would take much more to get it ready for FAC. A topic like this would make a great featured article. I'm placing it on hold for now while you look into my suggestions above- I'm watching the page, but feel free to ping me on my talk page when you're done. J Milburn (talk) 02:30, 8 January 2011 (UTC)


 * Thanks for the review, I'll go through your comments, and strike them out when I've done them. Anyone else please feel free to have a go as well. Cheers Zangar (talk) 14:59, 8 January 2011 (UTC)
 * I've finished what I can do for the moment, unforunately I'm a little busy in real life at the mo. Anyone else please feel free to finish the tasks I didn't have time to do the leg work for. Cheers Zangar (talk) 20:03, 8 January 2011 (UTC)
 * I've gone through and I think I've covered everything except the "Refs could do with more links". I'll keep looking, but I'm not certain how much more we'll get. J Milburn, was there anything specific you were thinking of? Even if it's something that will help in moving to featured status.  Worm   13:01, 10 January 2011 (UTC)
 * I was meaning wikilinks- I've gone through and added a few, as well as made a few formatting-y fixes in the article itself. I'm happy to promote this to good article status now. Are you interested in pushing towards FAC? I certainly think it'd make a good FA. I'll have a think on things that would be helpful in preparation for FAC. J Milburn (talk) 14:03, 10 January 2011 (UTC)
 * Without a doubt. Any thoughts would be appreciated, and I'll put it in for peer review at some point. I agree it'd make a very good featured article, and it's the sort of thing I'd love to see on the Main Page! Oh and thanks for all your help thus far (I see what you mean by links, was going down a very different route)  Worm   14:08, 10 January 2011 (UTC)
 * Ok- well, obviously, expansion is going to be on the books. I'm not sure how much more there is to say, but I'd strongly suspect there are some other books which talk about it. Perhaps a section discussing responses to it? Just a thought, not worth it unless you have a few. Be prepared to defend this as a reliable source, as it will probably be challenged at FAC. Before nominating, it would be worth contacting a copyeditor just to smooth over the text a little. There's not much I can criticise in the article, but it is currently a little shorter than a lot of FACs; not a problem in and of itself, but it may well mean people are that little bit more critical. Best of luck, do let me know if you send it through another process. J Milburn (talk) 14:54, 10 January 2011 (UTC)