Talk:Starstruck (The Kinks song)/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 07:02, 27 July 2022 (UTC)

Here is another review for you this month! --K. Peake 07:02, 27 July 2022 (UTC)

Infobox and lead

 * Per infoboxes needing to be specific, list the release date as January 1969
 * Done.


 * Mention in the first sentence that is from their sixth studio album, The Kinks Are the Village Green Preservation Society (1968)
 * Done.


 * Like previous, re-order the lead; the second sentence should mention the recording and writing, followed by the release and then comp/lyrics
 * Done.


 * "Recorded in July 1968" → "the song was recorded in July 1968" after the comma in writing
 * Done.


 * "its lyrics are" → "the lyrics are" but the grammar around this may vary depending on if you merge with the comp or not
 * Along with the mellotron, mention the genres
 * Done.


 * Wikilink lead single and mention it being released in January
 * Done.


 * "the European release made in" → "the European release being shot in"
 * How about cutting the "being", so it's just ...an accompanying promo film for the European release shot in...
 * Yes, that is completely fine! --K. Peake 16:29, 27 July 2022 (UTC)


 * "The single failed to" → "The song failed to" and mention the notable chart position(s) there
 * Done.


 * "some suggest it does not relate to" → "some suggest a lack of relation to"
 * Done.

Composition and recording

 * Img looks good!
 * I would suggest splitting this section into one for background and recording then another for composition and lyrics, as it is too large and at the moment, so place the appropriate content into a para of each section
 * I tried reorganizing things as Background and composition and Recording, with subsections for music and lyrics in the former. I think it's best to keep it ordered chronologically, detailing the song's writing, its content and then its recording.
 * I think this would be better if you had a section for background and recording followed by one for comp and lyrics, wouldn't that work? --K. Peake 16:29, 27 July 2022 (UTC)
 * I've switched it to your suggestion. How does that look? As tangent on this subject, here's a comment I left during the first FAN of "I've Just Seen a Face": Since WikiProject Songs doesn't provide much guidance in the way of article layout, I've based this article on some of the many Beatles related GAs, such as "Think for Yourself". As for FAs, I've seen it done this way at "Something", whereas "Hey Jude" uses the format you mention. I like it better with the composition described first, since it moves things along chronologically, with the song being written before recorded.  Tkbrett  (✉) 19:18, 27 July 2022 (UTC)


 * "later said" does not work when there is no previously specified date/period
 * Specified year.


 * "particularly its melody and" → "particularly the melody and"
 * Done.


 * "Mick Avory's snare drum."" → "Mick Avory's snare drum"." per MOS:QUOTE
 * Fixed.


 * "Musically, he writes the song" → "Musically, he writes "Starstruck""
 * This is now the start of a section, so I rewrote it as Rogan writes the song musically displays...


 * I still think it would be better with the title, as you are describing the musical style and it begins a section. --K. Peake 16:29, 27 July 2022 (UTC)
 * Done.


 * "suggests it was inspired by American musician" → "suggests the song was inspired by musician"
 * Done.


 * Pipe rock to Rock music
 * Done.


 * "of the big city" not sure what this means; please clarify?
 * Changed to "...risks of city life".


 * You should start a new sentence at "Retrospective commentators dispute" to avoid a run-on, especially since this is a summary sentence
 * Done.


 * "allowed for its inclusion," → "allowed for the song's inclusion,"
 * Done.


 * "with the album's theme of" → "with the theme of"
 * Done.


 * "with the manufactured."" → "with the manufactured"."
 * Done.


 * Remove wikilink on "Little Miss Queen of Darkness"
 * Why? Is there guidance on redirects for songs? I've looked around but I'm unsure when and when not to use these.
 * I don't think it is appropriate to link when the redirect leads to an album. --K. Peake 16:29, 27 July 2022 (UTC)
 * Done.


 * Remove the year for "Polly" on the second occasion since that is listed the previous sentence
 * Done.


 * Wikilink acoustic guitar
 * Done.


 * Pipe handclaps to Clapping
 * Done.


 * "while Davies sings" → "with Davies singing"
 * Done.


 * Pipe mixed to Audio mixing (recorded music)
 * Nice catch. Done.


 * "quickly in August," → "quickly in August 1968,"
 * Done.

Release and reception

 * Img looks good!
 * "released the twelve-track edition" → "released the 12-track edition" per MOS:NUM
 * I believe it's fine by MOS:NUMERAL: Integers greater than nine in one or two words may be expressed either in numerals or in words


 * "with fifteen tracks" → "with 15 tracks"
 * See above.


 * "described "Starstruck"'s use" → "described the song's use"
 * Done.


 * Mention when the West Europe release was
 * Sources unfortunately don't specify beyond November 1968 for the Netherlands and 8 or 15 January 1969 for the US. Looking at when the single first appeared in different charts isn't an option either since the song didn't chart anywhere besides the Netherlands.


 * Remove overly obvious wikilink on Scandinavia
 * Done.


 * Pipe black-and-white to Black and white
 * Done.


 * Mention the Netherlands release was a 7" single per the source
 * Done.


 * "reached on the Veronica Top 40 and  on" → "reached number 13 on the Veronica Top 40 and number 9 on"
 * I think it's fine by MOS:NUMERO.


 * "to the US release" → "to the United States release"
 * "United States release" sounds a little awkward to my ear. How about "American release"?
 * Yes, that reads better than either! --K. Peake 16:29, 27 July 2022 (UTC)


 * "which initially lead" → "which initially led"
 * Whoops! Fixed.


 * Shouldn't the inclusion in Last Night in Soho's soundtrack be mentioned here?
 * I originally couldn't find a source that mentioned its inclusion beyond a simple accounting of the track listing, but now I've found a piece in Den of Geek to help include it in the body.

Personnel

 * Are you sure handclaps should be listed in this section when the player is unidentified? They can still stay in prose either way.
 * In detailing the Kinks' working process, Andy Miller writes the band added extra percussion as part of the rhythm track (p. 21) and for "Starstruck" he writes it includes a the band's "familiar line-up", including handclaps, so I definitely think it goes here. To put it under "Additional musician(s)" would be to make a leap not asserted by the source.

Charts

 * Add for "Starstruck" after weekly chart performance
 * Done.

Final comments and verdict

 * until all of the issues are fixed; another nice article here though! --K. Peake 08:32, 27 July 2022 (UTC)
 * Thanks for another nice review, . Changes and comments are above.  Tkbrett  (✉) 14:39, 27 July 2022 (UTC)
 * Cheers for the speedy response again and I have left comments back to you above, also the release sentence should come before composition in the lead. --K. Peake 16:29, 27 July 2022 (UTC)
 * , changes above.  Tkbrett  (✉) 19:19, 27 July 2022 (UTC)
 * ✅ once again and regarding the order for info, I think recording can be merged with either background or comp depending on the context. --K. Peake 20:10, 27 July 2022 (UTC)
 * Thanks K. Peake. I again appreciate your comments and ideas.  Tkbrett  (✉) 20:12, 27 July 2022 (UTC)