Talk:Starweb/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 20:46, 30 August 2021 (UTC)

Comments
 * Lead feels a bit bulky for such a modest article, I would suggest trimming a bit to get down to two large paras.
 * Trimmed to two paragraphs.


 * "In early years, this amount usually ranged from 1,000 to 10,000 points" without knowing how often and how many points are awarded, this is relatively meaningless.
 * I added some material about point values accumulated in gameplay to provide perspective on this.


 * "reviewer Timothy B. Brown" perhaps "reviewer and game designer"?
 * Agreed. Done.


 * "by Flying Buffalo in" in the lead vs "Flying Buffalo Inc." in the infobox.
 * Fair enough. Their own website uses both styles, but a GA should be consistent. Done.


 * "game, Nuclear Destruction, in" not notable enough for a link?
 * Wikilinked in the lead.


 * "field in "roughly" 1976" couldn't this just be "field in around 1976"?
 * That works. Done.


 * "Professional game moderation" wouldn't that have been human-moderated? Shouldn't that be mentioned/linked here rather than later on?
 * I don't think we can make that leap here. Rick Loomis says in this history of Flying Buffalo that he started with human moderation but he had a program made for Nuclear Destruction soon after its start. It's not clear how quickly he transitioned from human-moderated to computer moderated. Either method could have been professional game moderation (done by the company). [Added clarification: since he started Nuclear Destruction in 1970 and started the "Professional game moderation" in 1971, he may have made the switch to computer-moderation at the same time or before.]


 * "the play-by-mail field" PBM.
 * Done.


 * "invented Starweb.[6] Flying Buffalo released it as its second PBM" -> " invented Starweb which Flying Buffalo released as its second PBM"
 * Done.


 * "mimeographed" pardon my ignorance, can you explain this?
 * I confess to being a novice here as well. It's an small, inexpensive, early version of a photocopy machine. I added a Wikilink to it. At first I was going to just remove it—and I still can if you think it better without—but I thought it would provide an interesting, and encyclopedic, historical aspect of these early PBMs and their origin period.


 * "as play-by-mail magazines" PBM
 * Done.


 * "Starweb is still available for play in the 21st century" Could you say "As of 2021"?
 * I changed it to "today" so it doesn't go stale next year.
 * Changed to "As of 2021" as you suggested based on WP:PRECISELANG.


 * "available for play by mail" PBM
 * I changed this to "available for play by postal mail" since I was trying to highlight that it was still available for play in that format whereas PBM is somewhat of an umbrella term.


 * "editors of Flagship Magazine provided" overlinked.
 * Delinked


 * "18 turns" eighteen (as you have twenty in the same sentence)
 * Fixed. Good catch, thanks.


 * "Rick Loomis, the founder of Flying Buffalo Inc., stated" don't think you need to repeat this factoid.
 * Agreed, removed.


 * "issue of The Space Gamer.[21] Reese" overlinked.
 * Delinked.


 * "game for White Dwarf in" overlinked.
 * Delinked.


 * "issue of Challenge magazine" overlinked.
 * Delinked.


 * Ensure ref dates are consistently formatted.
 * Fixed. They should be consistent now.

That's all I have on a first read. The Rambling Man (Keep wearing the mask...) 08:13, 31 August 2021 (UTC)
 * Greatly appreciate the review !--Airborne84 (talk) 01:56, 1 September 2021 (UTC)