Talk:State Council (Sikkim)/GA2

GA Review
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Reviewer: DreamRimmer (talk · contribs) 13:01, 27 July 2023 (UTC)


 * I'll review this one.  𝙳𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚖𝚁𝚒𝚖𝚖𝚎𝚛  𝚍𝚒𝚜𝚌𝚞𝚜𝚜  13:01, 27 July 2023 (UTC)

After carefully reading the page, I must say that, at first glance, I didn't notice any apparent mistakes. The article appears to be well-written and comprehensive, demonstrating a high level of attention to detail and accuracy. I will continue my review to ensure a thorough assessment, but so far, it seems to meet the criteria for a Good article.  𝙳𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚖𝚁𝚒𝚖𝚖𝚎𝚛  𝚍𝚒𝚜𝚌𝚞𝚜𝚜  15:48, 27 July 2023 (UTC)

Structure
In the sentence,, there is a lack of parallel structure. The first part of the sentence uses the phrase "some elected members," but the second part introduces a relative clause "who were nominated by the Chogyal." To maintain consistency and parallelism, both parts of the sentence should use the same structure. Replace it with The council was composed of some elected members and some nominated by the Chogyal.
 * ✅ -MPGuy2824 (talk) 04:15, 28 July 2023 (UTC)

Executive Council
In the third sentence. The phrase lacks clear subject-verb agreement. The correct form should be These too were presided over by the Dewan of Sikkim to match the plural subject "They" in the previous sentence.
 * It's slightly awkward given that the exec council was a singular body composed of more than one councillor. I've changed the structure of the paragraph. See if it works better this way. -MPGuy2824 (talk) 04:15, 28 July 2023 (UTC)

History
In the third sentence of the first paragraph: in the phrase The correct preposition to use in this context is in the kingdom instead of
 * ✅ seemed wrong to me. I've changed the phrase to in the kingdom's administration -MPGuy2824 (talk) 04:24, 28 July 2023 (UTC)

In the second paragraph:
 * "6 of the electable seats" should be replaced with "six of the electable seats."
 * "6 for the Bhutia-Lepcha (BL) people" should be replaced with "six for the Bhutia-Lepcha (BL) people."
 * "4 constituencies" should be replaced with "four constituencies."


 * In the last sentence of the second paragraph, please change to In the 1953 election, all the Nepali-reserved seats were won by the Sikkim National Party, while the BL-reserved seats were won by the Sikkim State Congress. ('whie,' should be 'while)


 * The word "Council" should be capitalized to maintain consistency with the use of "the Chogyal" and to indicate it as a proper noun.


 * Replace with Due to requests from the monastery associations and other groups, the number of electable seats on the Council was increased by two: one for the Sangha, to be voted on by the monks, and one seat that wasn't reserved for any particular group. (or simply replace comma with :}}


 * Replace with In the 1958 elections, the Sikkim State Congress won an additional seat, while the unreserved seat was won by an Independent.


 * In the sixth sentence of the fifth paragraph, "1 constituency" should be replaced with "one constituency."
 * ✅ -MPGuy2824 (talk) 04:24, 28 July 2023 (UTC)

Final years (1974–75)
In the First paragraph
 * In the second sentence  lacks clarity in terms of who is under pressure from India. It should be which the Chogyal signed under pressure from India. (or simply remove the comma after the Chogyal)


 * In the sentence, The Indian Lok Sabha then voted in favour of making Sikkim an 'associate' state, with the Rajya Sabha voting for an amendment on 8 September, giving it a status equal to that of other states, and absorbing it in the Indian Union. is too lengthy and complex. It would be better to break it down into shorter, more concise sentences.
 * "The Indian Lok Sabha" should be "The Lok Sabha" since "Lok Sabha" is a specific body.


 * In the last sentence, On 8 September, the Chogyal called for a free and fair referendum. lacks context. It would be more informative to include why the Chogyal called for the referendum.
 * ✅ -MPGuy2824 (talk) 08:43, 29 July 2023 (UTC)

In the Second paragraph
 * In the first sentence of the second paragraph: "whilst" should be replaced with "while" - "whilst" is a less common variant of "while," and it's generally preferable to use "while" in modern writing.


 * - The correct phrasing is ...putting the king under house arrest without the hyphen. When using the term "house arrest," it is typically written as two separate words.


 * remove the preposition "in".


 * The correct word is "place" instead of "page." It should be ...the referendum took place.


 * ...resulting in more than 97% of the votes for abolishing the monarchy "for" should be replaced with "in favor of" to indicate the votes' support for the action.


 * ...which transformed Sikkim from an Indian protectorate to a new state within the Indian union. This sentence is correct, but you can improve it stylistically by adding a comma after "protectorate" to make the meaning clearer.
 * ✅ -MPGuy2824 (talk) 08:43, 29 July 2023 (UTC)

In the Last paragraph
 * "On 15 May" should be "On 15th May"


 * In the last paragraph: can be improved for clarity like Following this, B. B. Lal took charge as Governor of the state on 16th May.

In the same sentence: add "the" before "Governor." When referring to a specific position, like "Governor," we generally use the definite article "the" to specify which Governor is being mentioned. Additionally, there should not be a comma before "on 16th May." Commas are not necessary when specifying a specific date.
 * ✅ -MPGuy2824 (talk) 08:43, 29 July 2023 (UTC)

Lead

 * remove the comma after "time."


 * I don't think WP:CITELEAD is needed because it has no content that is contentious.
 * ✅ -MPGuy2824 (talk) 08:45, 29 July 2023 (UTC)

Infobox
It appears to be good, however you can remove the unused parameters if you want.

Images
Images are tagged with their copyright status, and appropriate non-free usage rationales are provided for non-free content.

Electoral history
No issues, checked.

Constituencies
No issues, checked.