Talk:State Shinto/GA2

GA Review
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Reviewer: Sainsf (talk · contribs) 13:22, 9 June 2016 (UTC)

Hi! I will be reviewing this in the next few days. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 13:22, 9 June 2016 (UTC)

Fairly well-written, no copyvio detected, no dablinks, comments in the previous review have been addressed. The following are my comments. I would ping, the previous reviewer, to know what she thinks of the article now. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 10:37, 11 June 2016 (UTC)


 * Origins of the term
 * spirit-worship, which dates back No comma needed here
 * dates back to the sixth century Add AD/BC when you begin with the article
 * during the Meiji era Would be helpful to add in a (x–y) format the years of the Meiji era, for those of us who don't know.


 * Definitions
 * Though some scholars It would be helpful to name a few. This may appear vague to some as it is.
 * "State Shinto" was not an official designation for any practice or belief in Imperial Japan, but describes a mixture  Sudden change from past to present tense?
 *  though conservative scholars It would be helpful to name a few
 * The "Meiji period" link is a duplicate (it was linked only a section ago)


 * State control of shrines
 * Shinto priests, even when...Shrine board in 1940. Source?
 * I think the first and second paras can be merged. The first line is, I understand, a summary of the section, but may appear unsourced at first. Better put an example immediately after it.
 *  Up to that point, individual priests  I think this link should be placed at first mention of "priest". I am not sure if you are referring to a specific type of priests, though.
 * which some scholars suggest is evidence Naming a few can reduce vagueness


 * Ideological origins
 * The lack of enthusiasm among the population has been attributed to Attributed to by whom?
 * Who is Fukuzawa Yukichi?
 * ideological threat to the Meiji-era government "Meiji era", for consistency
 *  Shinto rituals were a civic responsibility Why is "rituals" in italics?
 * and lead to a sharp decline in both state grants I think it is "led", not "lead"
 *  it was suggested that to die in battle was a high honor Suggested by whom? Or was this a popular belief?


 * Post-war
 * Scholars suggest this was a concession from Name a few scholars

That is all I have to say for now. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 10:46, 11 June 2016 (UTC)
 * Thanks so much for this thorough review! I've tackled all of your recommended changes. --Owlsmcgee (talk) 19:20, 11 June 2016 (UTC)
 * Great. I assume Midnightblueowl has nothing more to say, so I promote this. Cheers, Sainsf  (talk · contribs) 07:50, 14 June 2016 (UTC)
 * Great, my first ever GA! Thanks for taking the time to evaluate it. --Owlsmcgee (talk) 03:48, 15 June 2016 (UTC)