Talk:Steve Ince/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Grandiose (talk · contribs) 15:40, 15 June 2012 (UTC) I'll be taking this review.

Actioned comments

 * Lead is too long, largely because it is too detailed. Target in particular the lists of things.*If you manage that, then the structure probably needs to be to eliminate "biography", boost the current headings to level 2 and perhaps subdivide the "departure from Revolution" section. Why is that the defining characteristic of his later work? Would founding his own company not make more sense?
 * Though I'm a big fan of his, he's not the most notable man in gaming, and it's hard to get sources for him. There's nothing that really talks about his early life...
 * His time at Revolution, which is most of his career, is his "golden age." He's best known by it, he worked on a number of adventure games which are considered to be "all-time greatest" etc. There's nothing he worked on that was as nearly successful as anything that he worked on before, or after that. --Khanassassin ☪ 19:54, 15 June 2012 (UTC)
 * Date formats and vocabulary are in American English. Is there a reason for this?
 * Is that really a problem? - I mean the date formats. I see them like that all the time, and make them like that myself, and it's never been a problem at GA Reviews. --Khanassassin ☪ 19:54, 15 June 2012 (UTC)
 * Well, WP:ENGVAR says An article on a topic that has strong ties to a particular English-speaking nation should use the English of that nation. Technically that isn't a GA criterion, because it's really designed for settling disputes. So sure, you can leave it (were your previous articles about English people?)
 * The articles were about Revolution Software games: all the installments in the Broken Sword games, Lure of the Temptress and In Cold Blood, and the company's game engine, Virtual Theatre. - And Revolution is an English company, so you could say it's about English people. I've also worked on the animated series Ed, Edd n Eddy and its character Eddy. - Ed, Edd n Eddy is an Canadian show, so I don't know, is it an AM-English or EN-English country; Anyway, it's also doing well as a FAC. :) --Khanassassin ☪ 06:25, 16 June 2012 (UTC)

Comments
Grandiose (me, talk, contribs) 15:40, 15 June 2012 (UTC)
 * I think there needs be something to make this article suitably comprehensive about his early life. Place of birth, school, family. University is a good start on this.
 * If you manage that, then the structure probably needs to be to eliminate "biography", boost theself. Some objective commentary on the guy or his work would allow the tone to be much improved.
 * Placing article on hold.
 * I would like to see some more progress on this in the next few days if you want me to keep this GAN open; otherwise you can always renominate. Grandiose (me, talk, contribs) 10:11, 22 June 2012 (UTC)
 * Well, it's been almost a week and no changes have been made to the article. I would like to almost mention that, having counted up, 18 of the article's 39 references are from Ince himself, which is a disproportionately high number. (Consider for example, WP:SELFSOURCE - part of WP:RS - part of criterion 2(b)). This, with its effect on tone and objective commentary, and the above concerns which have now been on hold considerably over a week, mean I'm failing the article. Do renominate once these issues have been addressed, because the article will at that juncture be in much better shape. Grandiose (me, talk, contribs) 21:33, 28 June 2012 (UTC)