Talk:Steve Longa/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Harrias (talk · contribs) 11:59, 20 November 2017 (UTC)

Right, time for another. From the top of the pile this time.


 * Lead
 * "..tackles by a freshmen.." Should be "freshman". ✅
 * "Longa forgoed his final year.." I think it should be "forwent". ✅


 * Early life
 * "Longa lived in Yaoundé, Cameroon before moving to the United States at the age of 12." Would it be worth mentioning in the lead that he is from Cameroon; it seems at least slightly noteworthy?
 * Due to the lead saying "American football", a lot of American football bios don't have any nationality stated in the lead to avoid the weird "Cameroonian American football player" and because probably around 95% of American football players are American (also see this for lead examples). I have also seen some articles written like "Cameroonian professional American football player". Also, is Longa an American now too? I could change it to "Cameroonian-born" (which I have now done) Thoughts? WikiOriginal-9 (talk) 23:39, 23 November 2017 (UTC)
 * "..and was recruited to play football." Clarify which code of football here; while it is in the lead, I always think it worth repeating on first mention in the body. ✅
 * What is "BPSL-Carpenter"? There is a link for BPSL, but no indication what Carpenter might represent. ✅
 * I've tried to make this clearer in the article, let me know what you think? Harrias  talk 07:35, 23 November 2017 (UTC)
 * Looks fine. WikiOriginal-9 (talk) 22:43, 23 November 2017 (UTC)
 * Provide a wikilink or explanation for sacks, rushing yards, and rushing touchdowns. ✅
 * As above for "NJIC-Meadowlands B". In this case, I can see Meadowlands is a division. Does this mean he was named on the "First team" honors for the Meadowlands (B?) division of the NJIC? Greater clarity is needed on these. ✅
 * I've tried to make this clearer in the article, let me know what you think? Harrias  talk 07:35, 23 November 2017 (UTC)
 * Looks fine. From googling, it looks like Meadowlands B is a division. WikiOriginal-9 (talk) 22:43, 23 November 2017 (UTC)
 * What is the 2011 Chesapeake Bowl? ✅
 * Still need something on this. Harrias  talk 07:35, 23 November 2017 (UTC)
 * "He committed to Rutgers in May 2011." Spell this out a bit more: "He committed to play college football for Rutgers in May 2011." Or similar (assuming I'm understanding it right.) ✅


 * College career
 * "..by any NCAA Division I freshmen.." Should be "freshman". ✅
 * Explain "forced fumbles", "fumble recovery", "pass breakups". ✅
 * "..with lineman Marcus Thompson." What is a "lineman"? ✅


 * Referencing
 * Generally looks good, all live links and spotchecks reveal nothing to concern me. Harrias  talk 11:59, 20 November 2017 (UTC)
 * Thanks for your work on this, happy to pass now. Harrias  talk 09:25, 24 November 2017 (UTC)
 * Thanks for the review. WikiOriginal-9 (talk) 18:50, 24 November 2017 (UTC)