Talk:Steve Lukather/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

I've placed the review on hold for up to seven days to allow time for the following issues to be addressed.


 * A few initial points:
 * There appears to be one dead link.
 * Removed. Was a personal blog that he's taken down.


 * Although we have a section on Luke's early life, there's nothing about his personal lfe such as whether he's married, to whom, has any kids, and so on. Apart from a hint in Santamental that he had a 14-year-old son at some unspecified date.
 * I've added a "Personal life" section with as much as can be found. He does not discuss his family and his official bios are lacking any info. He does promote his son's career whenever he can, but I don't think that belongs in this article.

Lead

 * "... as a studio session guitarist, has arranged, composed, and recorded on over 1,000 albums." Sounds a bit strange to me to say that he's "composed ... on over 1,000 albums".
 * Reworded to "has been involved with arranging, composing, and recording". -- Andy Walsh  (talk)  04:42, 7 September 2009 (UTC)


 * "His career to present ...". When's "present"? 2009?
 * "to present" removed for simplicity. "If you don't need a word..." and all that.


 * "... album appearances with Toto and other famous musicians." "Famous" is peacockery. Established? Well-known? Popular?
 * Changed to "well-known".


 * "Lukather is known for his acumen in the studio, often recording tracks in one take using minimal sound processing." Is "acumen" the right word here? Seems like we're talking about his ability, not his judgement.
 * Semantic issue. The source wasn't referring so much to his playing ability as to his ability to recognize when a take was sufficient.


 * "Lukather plays primarily a signature electric guitar manufactured by Ernie Ball Music Man, equipped with a custom set of EMG pickups and bearing his nickname, Luke." Slightly unclear about this. Is it the guitar or the pickups that bear his nickname?
 * Revised for clarity.


 * "... the band's disbandment ...". Sounds really awkward. The band split up?
 * I took your suggestion.


 * "Although known for using many guitar effects in the studio and on stage, he now frequently disparages such practices." I don't think this is quite right. Using effects is just one practice, no matter how many effects he used.
 * Agreed—revised.

Early life

 * "Lukather indicates that the album "changed his life ... . "Indicates seems like a strange choice of word here. Wouldn't something more solid like "claims" be better?
 * I'm not partial—changed to your suggestion.

Toto

 * "After the 1990 firing of their fourth vocalist ...". "Firing" is just a bit too informal.
 * Changed to "dismissal".


 * "Despite Lukather's vocal achievements, some Tambu reviewers contrasted Lukather's vocals with those of former singers ...". What "achievements"?
 * This was a leftover from a previous author who was trying to lighten the fact that some critics thought Lukather's vocals were awful. No one thought they were good—they either criticized them or didn't comment. I removed that phrase.


 * "Lukather's lead vocal duties subsided". "Subsided" seems like an unusual choice of word here. Probably needs rewording to something like "allowed Lukather to step down from his lead vocalist role", or something like that.
 * Reworded to "Lukather returned to mainly backup vocals".


 * "In June 2008, Lukather decided to leave Toto, ... who, as of 2004, was still playing to crowds of up to 45,000 fans." That just doesn't work at all. So what if four years earlier they were playing to crowds of 45,000? Toto has earlier been plural in any case, as in "After the 1990 firing of their fourth vocalist ...", so needs to be consistent.
 * I removed the phrase as irrelevant. I may add it back if I find a source for what type of crowds they were playing when they broke up.


 * "Lukather soloing". Is "soloing" really a verb?
 * It is where I come from. "To solo" is to play a guitar solo. Too colloquial?

Candyman

 * "Toto familiars Simon Phillips and David Paich participated ...". spirit|Familiars?
 * OED lists "One intimately acquainted with (a thing)" before your linked definition. :)


 * "There was some confusion about whether Candyman was a Steve Lukather album ...". Who was confused?
 * Changed to active voice and specified subject.

Santamental

 * " The result was a challenge to Lukather ...". The result was a challenge? Surely it was the effort to achieve the result that was the challenge?
 * Replaced "result" with "project".


 * "The musicians Lukather chose for Santamental, most of whom are hard rock veterans ...". The article doesn't tell us when Santamental was recorded. Are they all still "hard rock veterans"?
 * Reworded to "most of whom were involved in the hard rock genre"


 * "Famous session guitarist Michael Landau ...". More peacockery.
 * Went with "well-known" again.

Ever Changing Times

 * "Ever Changing Times, released on February 22, 2008, was the result of songs Lukather recorded in 2007 ...". How can an album be "the result of songs"?
 * Changed "result" to "collection".

Discography

 * Needs to be just a bit more than a link to a main article, ought to summarise that article.
 * Expanded to a bulleted list. -- Andy Walsh  (talk)  04:42, 7 September 2009 (UTC)

--Malleus Fatuorum 21:03, 4 September 2009 (UTC)


 * I have responded to your concerns to the best of my ability. Again, thanks for the careful and reasoned view. -- Andy Walsh  (talk)  05:02, 7 September 2009 (UTC)


 * That's good enough for me. I'm closing the review now and listing this article as a GA. Nice work. --Malleus Fatuorum 19:57, 8 September 2009 (UTC)