Talk:Steve Marchand

Tone
I was just wondering what specifically needs fixing? Gang14 19:41, 6 June 2007 (UTC)
 * The voice and tone of this paragraph:
 * A life-long supporter of community development and activism, Steve devotes much of his time to local charitable causes. Steve is the co-chair of City Year's 2007 national convention, to be held in Manchester this spring. A strong proponent of increasing community service, particularly among younger citizens, Steve is helping to bring this AmeriCorps national service organization to the first non-urban convention in its 19-year history.
 * make it sound like it was lifted straight from campaign materials. Cornell Rockey 20:36, 6 June 2007 (UTC)
 * agreed Gang14 22:59, 6 June 2007 (UTC)

the entire public works section needs editing.--Donatello08 03:36, 21 June 2007 (UTC)