Talk:Steve Palacios/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: The Most Comfortable Chair (talk · contribs) 14:17, 11 January 2022 (UTC)

Hello. I will take this. — The Most Comfortable Chair 14:17, 11 January 2022 (UTC)
 * I apologize for the delay. I will have this review by the end of this week. — The Most Comfortable Chair 06:28, 17 February 2022 (UTC)

Lead

 * "his second season with the Fusion, he helped the team finish as winners of the Premier Development League's Southwest Division." — This fact should be mentioned in "Summer leagues".
 * ✅, a sentence in that section has been changed to read "He returned to Ventura County in 2014 and played eight times in all competitions as the Fusion won the PDL's Southwest Division."

Early life and youth career

 * "He grew up in a soccer household" — This is somewhat vague. Does this mean that his parents were a followers of the game or that they (or one of them) were soccer player(s)?
 * "and as a kid trained with his older brother's teams." — "kid" should generally be avoided as it is relatively informal. Consider using "child" or changing the phrasing to "and would train with his older brother's teams" (or something along the lines).
 * ✅, to address these two points, I've changed this sentence to read "All three boys played soccer, and Steve trained with his older brother's teams while he was growing up."
 * "helped the Tritons to their first-ever CIF Southern Section title" — Mention the year.
 * ✅, the sentence now reads "...at San Clemente, and as a senior in 2011, helped the Tritons..."
 * "Palacios played his youth soccer with United FC" — Can you provide some context as to what United FC is, since it does not have a Wikipedia entry? A note explaining it would work, like "Palacios played his youth soccer with United FC, a youth development club in San Clemente" (I am not sure what United FC is, and this is just an illustrative example).
 * ✅, using your example wording, the sentence now reads "Palacios played his youth soccer with United FC, a youth development club in San Juan Capistrano, California."

College and amateur

 * "amateur" in the sub-header feels slightly awkward. I am not sure if using just "amateur" is the standard practice; I would recommend using "amateur career" unless the former is the common way to title headings.
 * ✅, no, you're entirely correct that it sounds better to say "amateur career", thanks for pointing it out because I'm going to need to change that on a few more pages as well. It also standardizes all of the sub-headers that regard Palacios' soccer career.
 * "He provided the game-winning assist to Chase Minter in the 11th minute." — I am not sure if "game-winning assist" is accurate in a game that was won 3–0. Perhaps you can specify whether it was the first or last goal?
 * ✅, it's technically accurate, but if it's going to cause confusion it's better to remove it. The sentence now reads "He assisted Chase Minter for the first goal of the game in the 11th minute."

Club career

 * "played his only game for the club in a postseason friendly against Sacramento Republic." — Please mention the date here.
 * ✅, the sentence now reads "...against Sacramento Republic on November 14."

After soccer

 * Since this section only includes his military career, consider renaming it to "Military career", "Military career and Armed Forces soccer" or something similar.
 * ✅, changed to "Military career". Thanks for the suggestions, I struggled hard to title this section when I originally cleaned up the article.
 * "After ending his professional soccer career, Palacios enlisted in the United States Army as a specialist." — Can the year be mentioned?
 * ✅, the sentence now reads "...as a specialist in 2017."

Personal life

 * "then earned a Master of Business Administration from the University of Maryland, Baltimore County following his retirement from soccer." — Mention the year here as well.
 * ✅, replaced "following his retirement from soccer" with "in 2020".

Honors

 * Can the CIF Southern Section, All-Orange County Player of the Year, and the 2019 Armed Forces Men's Soccer Championship accolades be mentioned here? The latter at least, if not the former two?
 * , as far as I am and was aware, the consensus is that high school soccer does not go in the infobox and high school awards do not go in the honors section. That said, I added the Army accolade here. The header currently just reads "United States military", but feel free to recommend any better title.

Final
GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria


 * 1) Is it well written?
 * A. The prose is clear and concise, and the spelling and grammar are correct:
 * B. It complies with the manual of style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation:
 * 1) Is it verifiable with no original research?
 * A. It contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline:
 * B. All in-line citations are from reliable sources, including those for direct quotations, statistics, published opinion, counter-intuitive or controversial statements that are challenged or likely to be challenged, and contentious material relating to living persons&mdash;science-based articles should follow the scientific citation guidelines:
 * C. It contains no original research:
 * D. It contains no copyright violations nor plagiarism:
 * 1) Is it broad in its coverage?
 * A. It addresses the main aspects of the topic:
 * B. It stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style):
 * 1) Is it neutral?
 * It represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each:
 * 1) Is it stable?
 * It does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute:
 * 1) Is it illustrated, if possible, by images?
 * A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content:
 * B. Images are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass or Fail:
 * A thoroughly researched and well-written article that covers all aspects of the subject's life using reliable sources. I thank for their patience and great work on the article, and I would like to extend my apologies once more for the uncharacteristic delay. This has been long-overdue — it meets the criteria. — The Most Comfortable Chair 06:28, 29 April 2022 (UTC)
 * 1) Is it stable?
 * It does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute:
 * 1) Is it illustrated, if possible, by images?
 * A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content:
 * B. Images are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass or Fail:
 * A thoroughly researched and well-written article that covers all aspects of the subject's life using reliable sources. I thank for their patience and great work on the article, and I would like to extend my apologies once more for the uncharacteristic delay. This has been long-overdue — it meets the criteria. — The Most Comfortable Chair 06:28, 29 April 2022 (UTC)
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass or Fail:
 * A thoroughly researched and well-written article that covers all aspects of the subject's life using reliable sources. I thank for their patience and great work on the article, and I would like to extend my apologies once more for the uncharacteristic delay. This has been long-overdue — it meets the criteria. — <b style="color:#000000">The Most Comfortable</b> <b style="color:#8A2BE2">Chair</b> 06:28, 29 April 2022 (UTC)
 * A thoroughly researched and well-written article that covers all aspects of the subject's life using reliable sources. I thank for their patience and great work on the article, and I would like to extend my apologies once more for the uncharacteristic delay. This has been long-overdue — it meets the criteria. — <b style="color:#000000">The Most Comfortable</b> <b style="color:#8A2BE2">Chair</b> 06:28, 29 April 2022 (UTC)