Talk:Storm Coaster/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: ChrisGualtieri (talk · contribs) 17:35, 1 January 2014 (UTC)

I'll take this one. ChrisGualtieri (talk) 17:35, 1 January 2014 (UTC)

Good Article Checklist
 * Well-written -the prose is clear and concise, respects copyright laws, and the spelling and grammar are correct; and it complies with the manual of style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation.
 * Verifiable with no original research: it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline; it provides in-line citations from reliable sources for direct quotations, statistics, published opinion, counter-intuitive or controversial statements that are challenged or likely to be challenged, and contentious material relating to living persons—science-based articles should follow the scientific citation guidelines; and it contains no original research.
 * Broad in its coverage: it addresses the main aspects of the topic; and it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style).
 * Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without bias, giving due weight to each.
 * Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute.
 * Illustrated, if possible, by images: images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content; and images are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions.


 * Disambig links: ✅
 * External links: ✅
 * Reference check: S
 * 1) Redirect: Secret's out on new Sea World ride (info) [goldcoast.com.au]
 * 2) 404: Das Looping-Märchen (info) [insideb.de]
 * Comments: I'm going to place this on hold. But the lead needs construction and development details. The coordinates are a bit extreme, does it need that accuracy? Some prose issues "Vikings Revenge" not "Viking's"? Some jargon slipped in "standard model Mack Rides..." A bit on the experience with the second sentence being a bit off in context. Some of the terms like "air-time hill" might be inaccessible at first. While overall very short, the major issue I have is the fact that the infobox has an image of a coaster that is not the Storm Coaster. Ref 20 is in all caps, should be fixes. (DEMOLISH BERMUDA) I think there should be some additional fixes for the prose itself, it is nothing brilliant, but it does not need to be. Is there nothing more for the designing that you could add? Its borderline, but it does check out. ChrisGualtieri (talk) 18:15, 2 January 2014 (UTC)
 * Thanks for the review Chris. I have addressed most of the issues you highlighted here. The only thing I was unable to resolve was the second dead link. As I can't find the insideB article archived anywhere, I have tagged it as a dead link, and added a citation to an existing source which speaks about the contents of that insideB article. I also plan on running through the prose again. Themeparkgc   Talk  23:52, 2 January 2014 (UTC)
 * It is a full reference, but even as a dead link, I'd prefer it being noted or kept because it was once verifiable. The fixes look like they are coming along really well. Just let me know when to recheck it. ChrisGualtieri (talk) 00:31, 3 January 2014 (UTC)
 * I was always intending the keep the link. Anyway I have done another run through. Please let me know what you think. Themeparkgc   Talk  07:12, 3 January 2014 (UTC)

Going to do another run through the prose. Just go through it again and double and triple check it. I am still finding too many little issues, but it is getting better. ChrisGualtieri (talk) 07:31, 3 January 2014 (UTC)
 * 1) "In January 2008, plans for a Mack Rides Water Coaster were released by the Gold Coast City Council. The proposal detailed the ride would have a station where Penguin Encounter exists and the main track out and over the car park.[4] These plans were shelved with the park opening Jet Rescue, an Intamin JetSki Coaster, in December 2008.[5][6]" - Without hopping over to the Penguin Encounter page, I really don't know what it is. Coming from a different angle, let's start with "In January 2008, the Gold Coast City council announced the plan for a Mack Rides Water Coaster... " Then go through the motions of introducing the park by name, how the plan would impact the existing layout and such. Modifying that second sentence is also needed because the word choice is bad and so is the layout "with the park opening Jet Rescue." It is flipping between past and present tense, stick to past tense.
 * 2) "They released a promotional image..." is ambiguous here, you introduce two parties in the paragraph. Is it Seaworld or Christian von Elverfeldt from Mack Rides? Because it is Seaworld, you should combine " Later that month, Sea World announced a new attraction would be coming in 2013. They released a promotional image on their Facebook page which read "The storm is building. It's gonna be a big one." into "Later that month, Sea World announced a new attraction for 2013 and released a teaser image on their Facebook page which read "The storm is building. It's gonna be a big one."" Less words, stronger context.
 * 3) Same could actually be done for the preceding sentences: "On 12 July 2012, Christian von Elverfeldt from Mack Rides revealed Australia would be receiving a water roller coaster in 2013; leading to speculation that Sea World might have revived its plans." This is an appropriate use of the semicolon, since the context is clear and it could stand as a separate sentence.
 * 4) "Storm Coaster is on the site of the former Bermuda Triangle ride." is a bit lacking. The whole paragraph should be restructured to better show the events, the demolition and construction of the Storm Coaster on the site of the Bermuda Triangle ride should be explicit without coming right out and saying it before jumping into the history again. Its another awkward prose piece.
 * 5) Tapper also commented on how wet riders get, suggesting riders might want a spare change of clothes.[40] - Awkward structure.
 * I've done another run through. I think I have addressed these points here. Themeparkgc   Talk  23:31, 3 January 2014 (UTC)
 * Looks good. GA passed. ChrisGualtieri (talk) 01:13, 4 January 2014 (UTC)