Talk:Studio 2054/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 09:21, 2 January 2021 (UTC)

Been a while since I reviewed one of your articles; I will start on this today! --K. Peake 09:21, 2 January 2021 (UTC)

Infobox and lead

 * The duration is not sourced anywhere in the body
 * Added source in Synopsis section. LOVI  33  04:31, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "support of her second album" → "support of her second studio album,"
 * ✅. LOVI  33  04:31, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "The concerts took place" → "The concert took place"
 * ✅. LOVI  33  04:31, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "to postpone her Future Nostalgia Tour" → "to postpone the Future Nostalgia Tour" with the wikilink per MOS:LINK2SECT
 * ✅. LOVI  33  04:31, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * It is not sourced anywhere that the postponing was because of COVID-19 in Europe specifically
 * It is presumed that's the case because tour dates were only announced in Europe so far. Although, I will change to simple COVID-19 pandemic as that is sourced. LOVI  33  04:31, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "in order to perform the album live." → "in order to perform songs from the album live."
 * ✅. LOVI  33  04:31, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "Studio 2054 was filmed in" → "Studio 2054 was filmed at"
 * ✅. LOVI  33  04:31, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "The show was met with highly positive reviews" → "The concert received generally positive reviews" because the fact that it is mentioned how some criticized parts of it makes it clear that the reviews were not highly positive
 * per WP:SYNTH. I just learned this the other day so essentially, you need a source to say if something was met with negative reviews, positive reviews, etc. I've usually just done based on the reviews for most of my song articles, but I had to change them all today due to this. LOVI  33  04:31, 3 January 2021 (UTC)
 * Are you sure this is the case with reviews though, or that guideline isn't in reference to a different context per this? Also, take a look at the talk page and WP:RECEPTION to grasp a better understanding of what I mean. --K. Peake 07:35, 3 January 2021 (UTC)
 * I have reviewed theses articles and specifically the "What synth is not" and WP:RECEPTION make a compelling case. I'm going to change it now, but I will keep the source there and put in a comment for people to refer to here. Thanks for making me aware of this. LOVI  33  15:21, 3 January 2021 (UTC)
 * Even though the source itself says otherwise from "generally positive", it is not that different plus you have commented here so I don't think it's something that is really offending anyone. Thank you and it is fine that you've got confused; this happens with the various guidelines on Wiki even after having been here for years! --K. Peake 15:34, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "the many guest performers in the show," → "the many guest performers," to avoid using "the show" too much
 * ✅. LOVI  33  04:31, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "for a paid livestream" → "of a paid livestream"
 * ✅. LOVI  33  04:31, 3 January 2021 (UTC)

Background and development

 * "Production on Studio 2054 began in August 2020 but planning" → "Production of Studio 2054 began in August 2020, but planning"
 * ✅. LOVI  33  04:50, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "as she wanted to" → "since she wanted to"
 * ✅. LOVI  33  04:50, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "perform live, however her team" → "perform live; however, her team"
 * ✅. LOVI  33  04:50, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "like a tv show which changed her mind." → "like a TV show and this changed her mind."
 * ✅. LOVI  33  04:50, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "for some human connection" → "for some sort of human connection"
 * ✅. LOVI  33  04:50, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * Target to COVID-19 pandemic lockdowns should only be on lockdown protocols text, plus wikilink COVID-19 pandemic here
 * ✅. LOVI  33  04:50, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "The name comes from" → "The concert's name comes from"
 * ✅. LOVI  33  04:50, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "Studio 54. Lipa had always" → "Studio 54; Lipa had always"
 * ✅. LOVI  33  04:50, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "and its mixture of various personalities." → "and its varying personalities." to be less wordy
 * ✅. LOVI  33  04:50, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * Where is the "four acts" part backed up?
 * Sorry, it for some reason was removed from the USA Today source, but it still appears in is archive. LOVI  33  04:50, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * I don't think "massive" is very encyclopaedic; maybe replace with "large" or something similar?
 * Replaced with "large". LOVI  33  04:50, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * [4][1] should be put in numerical order
 * ✅. LOVI  33  04:50, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "custom-built sets where made" → "custom-built sets were made"
 * ✅. LOVI  33  04:50, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * Wikilink roller discos
 * ✅. LOVI  33  04:50, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "They also listed the help" → "Lipa also enlisted the help" since "they" does not refer to any identified group of people
 * ✅. LOVI  33  04:50, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "with whom Lipa created a bubble" → "with whom she created a bubble" but this is not backed up anywhere; evoke 1 at this point because that mentions the bubble
 * ✅, but ref 1 is at the end of the sentence. LOVI  33  04:50, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * [6] should be solely at the end of the sentence
 * It's in the middle as it only backs up part of the sentence, the other half is backed up by ref 1. LOVI  33  04:50, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "The rehearsed for the show" → "She rehearsed for the show"
 * Changed to "they" as it is also referring to the dancers. LOVI  33  04:50, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "the latter's remix companion Club Future Nostalgia (2020)" → "the latter's companion remix album Club Future Nostalgia (2020),"
 * ✅. LOVI  33  04:50, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "The concert was part of" → "Studio 2054 was part of"
 * ✅. LOVI  33  04:50, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "and WeSing through Tencent." → "and WeSing, through Tencent."
 * ✅. LOVI  33  04:50, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "the show costed $1.5m" → "the show cost $1.5 million" for proper identification
 * ✅. LOVI  33  04:50, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * Wikilink Future Nostalgia Tour
 * ✅. LOVI  33  04:50, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "to September 2021, due to the" → "to September 2021 because of the" since there are too many commas in this sentence currently
 * ✅. LOVI  33  04:50, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * Remove wikilink on COVID-19 pandemic
 * ✅. LOVI  33  04:50, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "she also revealed that" → "she also unveiled that"
 * ✅. LOVI  33  04:50, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * The "exciting" part is not included anywhere in Lipa's tweet
 * Changed to "fun" as that is sourced in the tweet. LOVI  33  04:50, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "coming that following Wednesday." → "coming on 28 October 2020." because there is no point writing the day only once in the article and if not for this, the month will not be mentioned directly anywhere in this sentence
 * ✅. LOVI  33  04:50, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "Later that day," → "Later on the day of her initial announcement," to be specific
 * ✅. LOVI  33  04:50, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "her website on social media." → "her website on Twitter." with the wikilink
 * ✅. LOVI  33  04:50, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "where an announcement" → "when an announcement"
 * ✅. LOVI  33  04:50, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * Remove wikilink on London
 * ✅. LOVI  33  04:50, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * Wikilink press release
 * ✅. LOVI  33  04:50, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * Merge the formal announcement and further promotion sentences since they are both too short
 * ✅. LOVI  33  04:50, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * Wikilink Instagram Live per MOS:LINK2SECT
 * ✅. LOVI  33  04:50, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "Several trailers released up" → "Several trailers were released in the lead up"
 * ✅. LOVI  33  04:50, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "guests joined her both" → "guests joined Lipa both"
 * ✅. LOVI  33  04:50, 3 January 2021 (UTC)

Synopsis

 * Img collection looks really good!
 * Thanks. LOVI  33  05:15, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * Target behind the scenes to Making-of
 * ✅. LOVI  33  05:15, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * I will assume good faith even though I can't properly access The Times ref, but do all of the adverts feature Lipa like the wording makes it seem as if or just the Morrisons one?
 * They all do, reworded to "all featuring Lipa." LOVI  33  05:15, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "and opens in a" → "and opened in a"
 * ✅. LOVI  33  05:15, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "features neon lights," → "featured neon lights" with the target
 * ✅. LOVI  33  05:15, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "as the enthusiastic dancers cheer" → "as the enthusiastic dancers cheered"
 * ✅. LOVI  33  05:15, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "she confidently performs" → "she confidently performed"
 * ✅. LOVI  33  05:15, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * Why is [40] evoked both mid-sentence and at the end of the sentence? If it is an issue where the ref is used to back up the info before the semi-colon and that at the end of the sentence, then just move all of these to the end since it's only three refs.
 * ✅. LOVI  33  05:15, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "Lipa descends the podium and goes" → "Lipa descended the podium and went"
 * ✅. LOVI  33  05:15, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * Target interpolated to Interpolation (popular music)
 * ✅. LOVI  33  05:15, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * The last three paras all mentions acts, so why haven't you mentioning "opening act" in the first one?
 * Added into prose. LOVI  33  05:15, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "and beginning with the "Break My Heart" performance." → "and beginning a performance of "Break My Heart"."
 * ✅. LOVI  33  05:15, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "she struts through" → "she strutted through"
 * ✅. LOVI  33  05:15, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "then joins the show" → "then joined the show"
 * ✅. LOVI  33  05:15, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "Twigs appears on a darkened stage that illuminated by" → "Twigs appeared on a darkened stage that was illuminated by" with the target
 * ✅. LOVI  33  05:15, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * Wikilink pole dance
 * ✅. LOVI  33  05:15, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "Lipa then makes her way" → "Lipa then made her way"
 * ✅. LOVI  33  05:15, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "she momentarily picks up a drink" → "she momentarily picked up a drink"
 * ✅. LOVI  33  05:15, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "The Blessed Madonna who appears" → "The Blessed Madonna, who appeared"
 * ✅. LOVI  33  05:15, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "makes her way to" → "made her way to"
 * ✅. LOVI  33  05:15, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "The rendition of "Physical" contained" → "The rendition of the song contained"
 * ✅. LOVI  33  05:15, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * Target choreography to Choreography (dance)
 * ✅. LOVI  33  05:15, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "dropped to her knees" → "dropped to her knees while"
 * ✅. LOVI  33  05:15, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "in her DJ booth." → "in the DJ booth."
 * ✅. LOVI  33  05:15, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * Target mirrorball to Disco ball
 * ✅. LOVI  33  05:15, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "make their way to" → "made their way to"
 * ✅. LOVI  33  05:15, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "Lipa picks up a phone and slams it" → "Lipa picked up a phone and slammed it"
 * ✅. LOVI  33  05:15, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "begins with Lipa walking into a bordello-themed," → "began with Lipa walking into a bordello-themed," with the target
 * ✅. LOVI  33  05:15, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "where her brother, Gjin, is" → "where her brother Gjin is"
 * ✅. LOVI  33  05:15, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * Add release year of Fifa 21 in brackets
 * ✅. LOVI  33  05:15, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * Comma is not needed after Jeremy Lynch since this is not American English
 * ✅. LOVI  33  05:15, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "on the television to a" → "on the TV to a"
 * ✅. LOVI  33  05:15, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "with Miley Cyrus." → "with Cyrus."
 * ✅. LOVI  33  05:15, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "on the vintage television set" → "on the vintage TV set"
 * ✅. LOVI  33  05:15, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "with black jeans and" → "alongside black jeans and"
 * ✅. LOVI  33  05:15, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * Remove target on Angèle
 * ✅. LOVI  33  05:15, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "to perform "Fever" where the two" → "to perform "Fever", during which the two"
 * ✅. LOVI  33  05:15, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * Remove wikilink on New York City
 * ✅. LOVI  33  05:15, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "where Buck Betty performs" → "where Buck Betty performed"
 * ✅. LOVI  33  05:15, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "Kylie Minogue is then seen making her way" → "Minogue then made her way"
 * ✅. LOVI  33  05:15, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * Add release year of Disco in brackets
 * ✅. LOVI  33  05:15, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "Elton John opens with a" → "John opened with a"
 * ✅. LOVI  33  05:15, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "that is projected on a wall with dancers" → "that was projected on a wall, with dancers"
 * ✅. LOVI  33  05:15, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * [36][39][38] put in numerical order
 * ✅. LOVI  33  05:15, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * Target sci-fi to Science fiction
 * ✅. LOVI  33  05:15, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "She then went through" → "Lipa then went through"
 * ✅. LOVI  33  05:15, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "is set off as Lipa screamed" → "was set off as she screamed,"
 * ✅. LOVI  33  05:15, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * Fullstop is not needed after the exclamation mark, as that is a full quote plus you have punctuation inside the quotes throughout this article
 * Removed. LOVI  33  05:15, 3 January 2021 (UTC)

Critical reception

 * Img is missing a full-stop at the end; it is required here unlike the other img because a full sentence is included
 * ✅. LOVI  33  05:29, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "was met with highly positive reviews from critics." → "was met with generally positive reviews from critics."
 * per above. LOVI  33  05:29, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * Remove [52] because the reviews themselves back up the reception being generally positive
 * per above. LOVI  33  05:29, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "In a positive review from" → "In a positive review for"
 * ✅. LOVI  33  05:29, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "he commended it for" → "he commended the show for"
 * ✅. LOVI  33  05:29, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "agreed with Cairns in terms of Minogue and John's performance" this is not accurate wording, since Cairns didn't even mention their performances
 * Was meant to be McCormick, my mistake. LOVI  33  05:29, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * Wikilink Europop
 * ✅. LOVI  33  05:29, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "Giving the show four stars," → "Giving the show four stars out of five," to specify the rating because otherwise people may think it is a four out of four rating like some publications use as a system. However, you do not have to specify for the star ratings after this since "out of five" being noted most recently makes it clear they follow the same ratings system.
 * ✅. LOVI  33  05:29, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "viewed that the show was" → "viewed the show as"
 * ✅. LOVI  33  05:29, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "he thought that the show" → "he thought that it"
 * ✅. LOVI  33  05:29, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "to great" as well as" → "to great," as well as"
 * ✅. LOVI  33  05:29, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "additionally called it" → "additionally called the show"
 * ✅. LOVI  33  05:29, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "of the present" and" → "of the present," and"
 * ✅. LOVI  33  05:29, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * Target FX to Special effect
 * ✅. LOVI  33  05:29, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "the guest star's performances" → "the guest stars' performances"
 * ✅. LOVI  33  05:29, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "Lipa's performance, vocals, and" → "Lipa's performance and vocals, and"
 * ✅. LOVI  33  05:29, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "and praised Lipa performance and her" → "and directing praise towards Lipa performance alongside her"
 * ✅. LOVI  33  05:29, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "In a mixed review from" → "In a mixed review for"
 * ✅. LOVI  33  05:29, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "the setlist, and" → "the setlist and"
 * ✅. LOVI  33  05:29, 3 January 2021 (UTC)

Commercial reception and future

 * Retitle to Commercial reception and impact
 * ✅. LOVI  33  05:34, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * Target BST to British Summer Time
 * ✅. LOVI  33  05:34, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "Tickets went on sale for better prices for people on" → "They went on sale at better prices for people who"
 * ✅. LOVI  33  05:34, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "on 3 November and 16 November 2020." → "on 3 and 16 November 2020, respectively."
 * ✅. LOVI  33  05:34, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "This number included" → "The number included"
 * ✅. LOVI  33  05:34, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "estimates that the actual viewership of closer" → "estimated that the actual viewership was closer"
 * ✅. LOVI  33  05:34, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "eight or nine million as they presume" → "8 or 9 million, as they presumed"
 * ✅. LOVI  33  05:34, 3 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "ticket sales for Lipa's Future Nostalgia tour" → "ticket sales for the Future Nostalgia Tour"
 * ✅. LOVI  33  05:34, 3 January 2021 (UTC)

Set list

 * Add the appropriate source(s) here
 * ✅. LOVI  33  05:40, 3 January 2021 (UTC)

Streams

 * Good

Personnel

 * Shouldn't you add that Lipa served as lead performer or whatever the closing credits identify her role as? Keep her in the current position either way.
 * They just credited her as herself but I will add that. LOVI  33  05:42, 3 January 2021 (UTC)

Final comments and verdict

 * after I noticed during the review that OR was a noticeable issue in parts, hoping you can resolve the problems arisen though! --K. Peake 17:24, 2 January 2021 (UTC)
 * Hey, thanks for another review! I have addressed all you comments, hopefully I cleared some things up. Let me know if I need to do anything else. LOVI  33  05:51, 3 January 2021 (UTC)
 * Amazing response like your usual ones, but I only have one query and that is about the synth guideline; interesting catch there, however. --K. Peake 07:35, 3 January 2021 (UTC)
 * ✅ after you resolved that one problem! --K. Peake 15:34, 3 January 2021 (UTC)