Talk:Sumedha/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Sainsf (talk · contribs) 12:42, 26 December 2019 (UTC)

Beautiful article. Would love to review this :) Sainsf  (talk · contribs) 12:42, 26 December 2019 (UTC)
 * That's great, thanks! Bring it up! And a great user page, by the way -- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 19:37, 26 December 2019 (UTC)
 * Wow thanks :D Sainsf  (talk · contribs) 22:18, 27 December 2019 (UTC)

Okay so here are my comments. Will keep adding. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 22:18, 27 December 2019 (UTC)

General

 * No dablinks. "Buddha" is a duplink in "Encounter with Dīpankara Buddha" (also Gandhāra in "Origins"), the rest are Pali and Sanskrit. But I guess you can't help it as you use the template.
 * .-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 11:40, 31 December 2019 (UTC)


 * No copyvio issues
 * Images problem-free
 * Sources - decent and sufficient in number. Yet to perform a few spotchecks but looks really good. Impressed with the formatting of the citations :)
 * Thanks!-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 11:40, 31 December 2019 (UTC)


 * About the infobox image, should the caption mention when the painting is from instead of just "modern"?
 * I have had this problem before with images from this user, but having contacted him during a previous GA review, I didn't get a response.-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 11:40, 31 December 2019 (UTC)

Lead

 * I am curious about the font in a few convert templates, looks different from just italics or san serif. Basically the Sanskrit ones. I think the italics should be used consistently, maybe not use the "italics" parameter and just type it in italics using wiki markup?
 * ✅. This problem doesn't show on my computer though. Please provide details of your computer and browser, and I'll post a report on the talk page of the template.-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 11:56, 31 December 2019 (UTC)
 * I see. I use the latest version of Mozilla Firefox on a 64 bit Windows OS. Not really an issue in the GA process though. Sainsf  (talk · contribs) 14:26, 2 January 2020 (UTC)
 * Reported here.-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 10:02, 4 January 2020 (UTC)


 * Should we say "Gotama Buddha" or "Gautama Buddha"? I am curious about the origin of the first name, as I have mostly heard of the 2nd one and even the wiki article has that spelling. Maybe you should mention where the 1st name is used, or use the more common variation. I leave this to you, as you have appreciable experience with these articles.
 * The former is used in Pāli, the latter in Sanskrit. Since the subject of the article here is mostly covered in Pāli sources, I have chosen to write all names in Pāli. Scholars tend to choose Pāli or Sanskrit spelling, depending on the subject matter as well.-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 11:56, 31 December 2019 (UTC)


 * Traditions regard Sumedha's life as the beginning Maybe not repeat "traditions" from the previous line? Or maybe combine the two lines?
 * , rephrased.-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 11:56, 31 December 2019 (UTC)

Origins

 * which has led indologists "Indologists"
 * ✅.-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 19:47, 31 December 2019 (UTC)


 * only became current several centuries after the Buddha I think "came into existence" sounds better
 * That would change the meaning. I have changed it to to traditions that became current instead of accounts, per source cited.-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 19:47, 31 December 2019 (UTC)


 * Nagarāhāra, Afghanistan, now called Nangarhar clarify that Nangarhar is the new name for Nagarāhāra and not Afghanistan
 * ✅.-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 19:47, 31 December 2019 (UTC)


 * Faxian reported a shrine for Dīpankara was located there "Reported a shrine for Dīpankara there" is appropriate. This is a short sentence, can be joined to the earlier one by a semicolon
 * Good idea. ✅.-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 19:47, 31 December 2019 (UTC)


 * However, the motif of the spreading of hair I am not sure what this refers to. Maybe add a few words explaining this for a person new to this topic
 * I have added a section link with a "see below" message.-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 19:47, 31 December 2019 (UTC)
 * Cool, I didn't know about that template :D Sainsf  (talk · contribs) 14:28, 2 January 2020 (UTC)


 * due to mainstream scholarship's focus on early Pāli texts  "scholars' "?
 * ✅. Thanks. -- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 19:47, 31 December 2019 (UTC)

Accounts

 * " is said to have lived a long period ago, described in the texts as" sounds redundant, the period can be directly mentioned
 * ✅.-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 20:19, 31 December 2019 (UTC)


 * At that time, Sumedha is born in Amaravatī What time is being referred to? Is it a reference to the story in the text?
 * Yes, it is confusing and redundant. .-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 20:19, 31 December 2019 (UTC)


 * live from fruits should be "on"
 * ✅.-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 20:19, 31 December 2019 (UTC)


 *  as being that immersed in yogic practice "so" immersed
 * ✅.-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 20:19, 31 December 2019 (UTC)


 * Being joyful to hear the word buddha, "joyful on hearing the word"
 * ✅.-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 20:19, 31 December 2019 (UTC)


 *  Gotama the Buddha-to-be is a comma missing?
 * .-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 20:19, 31 December 2019 (UTC)


 * Sumedha then pronounces a specific vow that he in the future, too, will become a Buddha reword as "Sumedha then pronounces a specific vow that in the future he too will become a Buddha"
 * ✅. Thanks.-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 20:19, 31 December 2019 (UTC)


 * under Dīpankara, therefore vow that they will attain reword as "under Dīpankara vow that they will attain"
 * ✅.-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 20:19, 31 December 2019 (UTC)


 * and in some stories offers flowers offer
 * ✅.-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 20:19, 31 December 2019 (UTC)


 * Sumedha makes this vow "his" vow, as you are not referring to the vow in words here but you mention it earlier
 * ✅.-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 20:19, 31 December 2019 (UTC)


 *  flowers from a young brahmin girl called Sumittā, which he later offers to Dīpankara Buddha You can say for clarity " flowers from a young brahmin girl called Sumittā; he later offers the flowers to Dīpankara Buddha"
 * ✅.-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 20:19, 31 December 2019 (UTC)


 *  Later, Sumittā is reborn as Yasodharā, Prince Siddhattha's wife Have we mentioned the name of the Prince so far, as Sumedha's form upon rebirth? Unless one knows beforehand they may not get who you refer to
 * Good catch. .-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 20:19, 31 December 2019 (UTC)


 * on condition that he join her  "the" condition
 * ✅.-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 20:19, 31 December 2019 (UTC)


 * The texts relate that the friend behaves badly "badly" sounds somewhat vague. What exactly was the misconduct? Similarly for Mahavira in "Comparison with Jainism"
 * What exactly was the misconduct? The sources just says pursued the worst possible karmic course. I have rephrased it closer to the source now. Second instance is similar. now, I hope.--  Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 20:19, 31 December 2019 (UTC)


 * by 5th-century Buddhists  "fifth century"
 * ✅. Fixed seven instances.-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 20:19, 31 December 2019 (UTC)

Textual interpretation

 * "willpower" is one word
 * ✅.-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 20:23, 31 December 2019 (UTC)


 * Why is the last section completely on the stages of becoming a Buddha? Does it relate relevantly to Sumedha?
 * It gives context to the prediction.-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 20:23, 31 December 2019 (UTC)

Comparison with Jainism

 * who is depicted as being predicted to become a jina "who is predicted to become a jina"
 * ✅.-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 20:30, 31 December 2019 (UTC)


 * reborn as a human being again "again" sounds redundant
 * ✅.-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 20:30, 31 December 2019 (UTC)


 * Is Marīci introduced anywhere before the first mention? You describe him in the 2nd mention
 * . This was actually not clear anyway.-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 20:30, 31 December 2019 (UTC)


 * potentially dangerous, worldly powers is comma needed?
 * Not sure. Let's remove it for now. .-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 20:30, 31 December 2019 (UTC)

Roles in Buddhism

 * The story is in the Theravāda tradition usually regarded as the beginning of the Buddha's spiritual path is a comma missing?
 * .-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 10:37, 1 January 2020 (UTC)


 * 5th century should be "fifth", for numbers below or equal to ten per MOS
 * .-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 20:38, 31 December 2019 (UTC)


 * Link "Theravāda" only on first mention. Similarly Buddhist art and I guess a few others I must have missed
 * -- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 10:37, 1 January 2020 (UTC)
 * ✅.-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 11:52, 1 January 2020 (UTC)


 * The reason why the story was less influential outside of Gandhāra may have been because Vessantara's story was more popular "...Gandhara may have been the greater popularity of Vessantara's story"
 * That would change the meaning. I have added here now. Does that help?-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 10:37, 1 January 2020 (UTC)

In popular culture

 *  in the first episodes episode?
 * There were multiple episodes about him, all at the beginning of the series, according to the source.-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 09:34, 4 January 2020 (UTC)
 * In that case "in the initial episodes" would be a good reword. Sainsf  (talk · contribs) 09:36, 4 January 2020 (UTC)
 * ✅.-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 10:06, 4 January 2020 (UTC)

Thanks for such an interesting read. As you can see I mostly found issues with prose, which should be fixed if you check the article once again carefully and look at my comments. The rest is excellent; given a thorough copyedit and maybe some expansion to improve coverage, the article can be a strong FA candidate. Cheers, Sainsf  (talk · contribs) 23:02, 27 December 2019 (UTC)
 * Great work! -- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 11:59, 31 December 2019 (UTC)
 * Done, awaiting further comments.-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 11:53, 1 January 2020 (UTC)
 * Hi, the changes look great, but seems you missed the last section. Once that is seen to I would be happy to promote this. Cheers, Sainsf  (talk · contribs) 14:30, 2 January 2020 (UTC)

Well then, all concerns have been duly addressed and the article meets (and in my opinion surpasses) the GA criteria. Congrats on such a beautiful article. Happy to promote :) Sainsf  (talk · contribs) 14:39, 4 January 2020 (UTC)
 * Thank you very much, ! Keep up the good work! -- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 15:06, 4 January 2020 (UTC)