Talk:Super Bowl LI halftime show/GA2

GA Review
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Reviewer: Grk1011 (talk · contribs) 15:18, 30 June 2023 (UTC)

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

(Criteria marked are unassessed)
 * 1) It is reasonably well written.
 * a. (prose, spelling, and grammar):
 * b. (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
 * 1) It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a. (reference section):
 * b. (citations to reliable sources):
 * c. (OR):
 * d. (copyvio and plagiarism):
 * 1) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a. (major aspects):
 * b. (focused):
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a. (images are tagged and non-free content have non-free use rationales):
 * b. (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/fail:
 * 1) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a. (major aspects):
 * b. (focused):
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a. (images are tagged and non-free content have non-free use rationales):
 * b. (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/fail:
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a. (images are tagged and non-free content have non-free use rationales):
 * b. (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/fail:
 * b. (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/fail:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/fail:
 * Pass/fail:

Hi, I'll be reviewing this for you. My typical style is to read through the article and make small grammar changes myself as a courtesy and I'll list more substantial comments below for your response. I will update the above checklist as we go along. I see that this article has a previous GA nom that failed due to inactivity. If you haven't already, I'd suggest you look through that review and make sure those items have also been addressed as well if they remain present. Grk1011 (talk) 15:18, 30 June 2023 (UTC)
 * Hello, . That's amazing. And yes, I have read the past review and fixed everything. Gaga Nutella talk 00:38, 2 July 2023 (UTC)

Lead and infobox

 * Avoid "currently". Suggest replacing with use of As of.
 * Done. Gaga Nutella talk 19:33, 2 July 2023 (UTC)


 * The first and last paragraph of the lead talk about the critical acclaim. No change required, but I'd recommend trying to combine these thoughts into one paragraph about the reception instead of split up.
 * Done. Gaga Nutella talk 19:33, 2 July 2023 (UTC)


 * "since the 2010 edition" is not supported in the article body. Conception section only describes it as "past few years".
 * Done. Gaga Nutella talk 19:33, 2 July 2023 (UTC)

Synopsis

 * No references listed, but this should largely be ok per MOS:PLOTSOURCE.
 * I'd recommend adding a couple references for some of the commentary if possible. For example the "disco stick".
 * Done. Gaga Nutella talk 19:33, 2 July 2023 (UTC)


 * External video uploaded by an official account, so that's perfect.
 * Image: Remove "the" before Super Bowl LI.
 * Done. Gaga Nutella talk 19:33, 2 July 2023 (UTC)

Background

 * Suggest: to perform at the Super Bowl LI halftime show, on February 5, 2017, at Houston's NRG Stadium. -> to perform at the Super Bowl LI halftime show, which was planned for February 5, 2017 at Houston's NRG Stadium"
 * Done. Gaga Nutella talk 19:33, 2 July 2023 (UTC)

Development

 * Can you find a source for "outrageous attire"?
 * Done. Gaga Nutella talk 19:33, 2 July 2023 (UTC)


 * there was several speculation <- rephrase this
 * Done. Gaga Nutella talk 19:33, 2 July 2023 (UTC)


 * a LED -> "an LED"
 * Done. Gaga Nutella talk 19:33, 2 July 2023 (UTC)


 * A record number of about 5,000 LED lights were embedded in the stage. <- this is a primary source, so a secondary would be needed to backup the "record" claim. The number of lights is fine though.
 * Done. Gaga Nutella talk 19:33, 2 July 2023 (UTC)


 * A mention of the relevance of Intel would be helpful other than a passing "provided by", which made me think that it was more about the name and not the product itself. The Verge reference explained why their involvement was helpful with the specific drone they were launching.
 * I didn't get what you mean. Could you be more specific? Gaga Nutella talk 19:33, 2 July 2023 (UTC)


 * The computer checked the GPS signal strength and the drones' battery levels. <- this sentence doesn't add much. Suggest deleting as fluff.
 * Done. Gaga Nutella talk 19:33, 2 July 2023 (UTC)

Critical response

 * Caption for image is worded as if the show is named "Bad Romance". Suggest: "Bad Romance" was the final performance of the show."
 * But also the image doesn't seem relevant here?
 * Removed. Gaga Nutella talk 19:33, 2 July 2023 (UTC)


 * Add when the Emmy Awards took place
 * Done. Gaga Nutella talk 19:33, 2 July 2023 (UTC)


 * Split/rephrase last sentence. Suggest: "At the 69th Primetime Creative Arts Emmy Awards, the halftime show was nominated in six categories—the most by any halftime show—and won in three categories. It won Outstanding Music Direction, Outstanding Sound Mixing for a Variety Series or Special, and Outstanding Lighting Design / Lighting Direction for a Variety Special, and had also been nominated for Outstanding Special Class Program, Outstanding Production Design for Variety, Nonfiction, Event or Award Special, and Outstanding Technical Direction, Camerawork, Video Control for a Limited Series, Movie, or Special."
 * Done. Gaga Nutella talk 19:33, 2 July 2023 (UTC)

Commercial reception

 * rising 66–2 <- in these instances (the others here as well), can you say maybe from and to?
 * Done. Gaga Nutella talk 19:33, 2 July 2023 (UTC)

Set list

 * Is there a ref for "pre-recorded intro"?
 * Done. Gaga Nutella talk 19:33, 2 July 2023 (UTC)

Discussion
A great read! Not much for you to address. Grk1011 (talk) 16:30, 2 July 2023 (UTC)
 * I have fixed everything, but the Intel comment. Please advise, . Gaga Nutella talk 19:34, 2 July 2023 (UTC)
 * Thanks for making those changes. Looks great! I was just saying that it could be helpful to add some extra detail from the provided ref to establish the reason for Intel providing the drones. For example, something from this paragraph in the press release: The Intel Shooting Star drones are a new type of unmanned aerial vehicle (UAV), specifically designed for entertainment purposes such as festivals and entertainment events. The purpose-built quadcopter drone is built with safety in mind and equipped with LED lights that can create over 4 billion color combinations and easily be programmed for any animation. It's not required for GA, but I thought it could help frame their inclusion. Anyways, I'm happy to pass this with or without that change! Great job with this. Grk1011 (talk) 00:25, 3 July 2023 (UTC)