Talk:Super Mario Galaxy/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Lord Roem (talk) 19:43, 15 January 2011 (UTC)
 * I will review this article over the weekend. Regards, Lord Roem (talk) 19:43, 15 January 2011 (UTC)

Section by section review
Images
 * Are in well-placed locations and abide by the criteria.

Lead
 * Everything's fine here, although the in-line cites may not be needed if sourced later in the article.

Infobox
 * Good.

Gameplay-Premise and Setting
 * First paragraph completely lacking of cites.
 * Again, second paragraph lacking of cites.
 * A bit confused here - do all the special stars play the level on a time limit?

Gameplay-Controls
 * Explain if any of these controls are new.
 * Cites!

Gameplay-Power ups and lives
 * "He can also jump higher and run faster" - incorporate this into a previous sentence
 * Some of the details seem a bit repetitive and a bit unclear. Try removing extraneous material as the article sometimes goes off on a tangent.

Gameplay-multiplayer
 * I suppose its ok.

Plot
 * puffery.
 * Cites.

....

Concluding Thoughts
 * I am not going to go through the remaining paragraphs/sections until the citation issues with the first half are resolved. Because of this problem, inflated by overarching issues I describe below, I am going to have to quick-fail this nomination.
 * Issues of prose -- at many points the article seems written in the perspective of a gamer and not a more...universal view.
 * Lack of clarity -- many instances where small details are inflated
 * Citations

If you have any questions about this, please direct them to my talk page. I am moving to fail the nomination, as explained above.

Result: Not listed. -- Lord Roem (talk) 22:43, 15 January 2011 (UTC)